Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, friends.....
Today...Sunny, Highs in the upper 60s.
North winds around 5 mph...
I have 36º right now....
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~  WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEAR IN THE RAIN?
A DRIZZLY BEAR........

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~  Facebook and EBay... have just launched a joint
venture where the homeless can discuss their daily
goings on with each other and sell goods amongst
themselves.
 It's called Social Notworking.   

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~  A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large
sign on the wall, "$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!"
 When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye.
She calmly writes down his order and walks into the
kitchen where all hell breaks loose!
 The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen.
He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills
down on it and says, "You got me that time buddy,
but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years
we've been out of rye bread!"

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~  Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on
a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold
winter's night.
He entered the local general store to get some warmth,
and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the
pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business.
Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.
Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently
had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell,
much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.
When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen,
he replied, "Very much what I see here:
All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

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~  Theres a couple on a cruise going by a small island
and notices a man who is wildly dancing on the shores.
 So they ask the captain who is that man and what is he
doing?
Captain replies:
" I dont know but the dude goes crazy every year we pass
by."

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 ~   As a family settled into their seats at a movie
theater, the room darkened and the screen lit up. 
They soon noticed that the sound was not working. 
They waited for a few minutes, without any adjustment,
until an irritated voice was heard: 
"Okay, who has the remote?"

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~  One occasion when a windshield wiper always seems
to work properly is when it's holding a parking ticket.

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~  A couple of tourists were dining at a fine restaurant in
Paris. 
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able
to catch the waiter's eye. 
"I want a bottle of your best wine," he ordered.
"What year?" asked the waiter. 
"Right now!" bellowed the tourist. 

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~  I was devastated to find out my wife was having an
affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to
come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the
morning!

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~  An executive came home and slumped into his
favorite chair. 
His wife asked him what was wrong. 
"You know those aptitude tests we're giving at the
office?
Well, I took one today and it's a good thing I own the
company!"

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~  Buying the right computer and getting it to work
properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear
reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using
only your teeth.

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~ When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with
a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.
The judge rose from the bench.
"Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to
appear before this court," he smiled with delight.
"Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass
through a red light' five hundred times."

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~  "Billy, did you take my car out last night?"
 "I went for a spin with a couple of the guys."
 "Well, tell them I found two of their lipsticks

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Todays Thought:

* I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker
is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is
another matter. - Winston Churchill

Rae's Trivia.....

Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not
owned by any country.
Ninety percent of the world's ice covers Antarctica .
This ice also represents seventy percent of all the fresh
water in the world.
As strange as it sounds, however, Antarctica is
essentially a desert;
the average yearly total precipitation is about two inches.
Although covered with ice (all but 0.4% of it, ice.),
Antarctica is the driest place on the planet,
with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.

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