Well today we're having....
Mostly cloudy. A chance of rain in the afternoon.
Highs in the upper 60s.
Chance of rain 50 percent...
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♥♥♥
~ Paul McCartney is gonna be pissed when he finds
out his new wife spends twice as much on shoes as his
last one.
out his new wife spends twice as much on shoes as his
last one.
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~ why do... mexicans flip up the bill on their baseball
caps?
So they have a place to set their taco while they take a
pee...........
caps?
So they have a place to set their taco while they take a
pee...........
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~ A musical director was having a lot of trouble with
one drummer.
He talked and talked and talked with the drummer,
but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said,
"When a musician just can't handle his instrument
and doesn't improve when given help, they take away
the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him
a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section:
"And if he can't even handle that, they take away one
of his sticks and make him a conductor."
one drummer.
He talked and talked and talked with the drummer,
but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said,
"When a musician just can't handle his instrument
and doesn't improve when given help, they take away
the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him
a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section:
"And if he can't even handle that, they take away one
of his sticks and make him a conductor."
☼
~ In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas
have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
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~ It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is
just locking up when a man begins pounding on the
front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately.
“I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I
don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher.
“Let me see what I have left.”
He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only
one scrawny turkey left.
He brings it out to show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the
man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and
waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back
out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any
better.
You better give me both of them!”
just locking up when a man begins pounding on the
front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately.
“I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I
don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher.
“Let me see what I have left.”
He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only
one scrawny turkey left.
He brings it out to show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the
man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and
waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back
out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any
better.
You better give me both of them!”
☼
~ The physician writing out a prescription for his
hypertensive cardiac patient: “Diazepam 5mg
(tranquilizer) TDS".
The patient’s wife asks, "Doctor, when are these
medicines to be given?"
Doctor: "These are to be taken by you.
He needs rest"
hypertensive cardiac patient: “Diazepam 5mg
(tranquilizer) TDS".
The patient’s wife asks, "Doctor, when are these
medicines to be given?"
Doctor: "These are to be taken by you.
He needs rest"
☼
~ A man walks into a doctor's office and the
doctor sits him down.
"OK what's your problem sir?"
"I'm half deaf" he replied
"That's ridiculous!
You can't be half deaf!
You could be affected in one ear.
But there is no such thing as 1/2 deaf!"
"Yes there is!"
"OK OK! Go down the hall and I'll shout a number and
you shout it back."
"OK!" He said.
When he got to the end of the hall the Doctor shouts
down.
"88 shouted the doctor.
"44"shouted the man.
doctor sits him down.
"OK what's your problem sir?"
"I'm half deaf" he replied
"That's ridiculous!
You can't be half deaf!
You could be affected in one ear.
But there is no such thing as 1/2 deaf!"
"Yes there is!"
"OK OK! Go down the hall and I'll shout a number and
you shout it back."
"OK!" He said.
When he got to the end of the hall the Doctor shouts
down.
"88 shouted the doctor.
"44"shouted the man.
☼
~ So I just got my gazebo finished in my backyard
and I called up an electrian to come out.
Once he got here we immedialely got on what I need
done.
I tell him, I need 4 outlets with switches,
a fan installed, some lights hooked up and some track
lighting at the steps, you think you can handle that?
So he says..... yeah, I conduit
and I called up an electrian to come out.
Once he got here we immedialely got on what I need
done.
I tell him, I need 4 outlets with switches,
a fan installed, some lights hooked up and some track
lighting at the steps, you think you can handle that?
So he says..... yeah, I conduit
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Pete's Thought of the day.....
* A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you
can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo
and Holy Ghost on drums. - Hunter S. Thompson
can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo
and Holy Ghost on drums. - Hunter S. Thompson
Rae's Trivia...
There are hefty price tags on some Internet domain
names.
The highest-selling domain name to date,
business.com, went for $7.5 million in 1999.
The buyer was eCompanies.
names.
The highest-selling domain name to date,
business.com, went for $7.5 million in 1999.
The buyer was eCompanies.
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