fog in the morning........ Sunny.
Highs in the upper 70s.
Light and variable winds...
☼
A scared Doe ??
How true.......
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~ My wife said..... I never compliment her anymore.
I said "Nice moustache".
Doc says I'll be back on my feet in a week or so.
I said "Nice moustache".
Doc says I'll be back on my feet in a week or so.
☼
~ ...when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip,
I said to the lady at the registration desk,
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn,
you sicko.
~ ...when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip,
I said to the lady at the registration desk,
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn,
you sicko.
☼
~ On the way back from a school field trip, the bus was
headed toward some dark skies.
A chaperone said to the bus driver.
"It looks like it's going to rain cats and dogs."
A young student chimed in from behind them with,
"If it does, I'm keeping one."
headed toward some dark skies.
A chaperone said to the bus driver.
"It looks like it's going to rain cats and dogs."
A young student chimed in from behind them with,
"If it does, I'm keeping one."
☼
* Student: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so.
What is it you want me to write?
Student: Your name on this report card.
Father: I think so.
What is it you want me to write?
Student: Your name on this report card.
☼
~~ We decided to have lunch in the tea garden on the
grounds, and I lined up inside the self-serve snack bar.
There was an open kitchen...
A sign over the sink caught my eye: "Will ladies please
rinse out teapots, then stand upside down in the sink.
On no account must hot bottoms be placed on the work
tops."
grounds, and I lined up inside the self-serve snack bar.
There was an open kitchen...
A sign over the sink caught my eye: "Will ladies please
rinse out teapots, then stand upside down in the sink.
On no account must hot bottoms be placed on the work
tops."
☼
* At a bar, Tom said to Bill; Uncle Pete tried to make a
new kind of car.
He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus,
and tires from a Ford.
What did he get? asked Bill.
Two years, Said Tom.
new kind of car.
He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus,
and tires from a Ford.
What did he get? asked Bill.
Two years, Said Tom.
☼
* Last night.....I got thrown out of a casino…
apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.
apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.
☼
~ When on an airplane and a chatty seatmate asks you
what you do, you might whisper that you are an area
supervisor with the Internal Revenue Service.
That usually ends further conversation.
what you do, you might whisper that you are an area
supervisor with the Internal Revenue Service.
That usually ends further conversation.
☼
~~ A man was walking his dog by the gas station,
and while talking to a friend, his dog started lapping up
some gasoline that was on the ground.
Suddenly, the dog shot off and the owner ran after him.
A short time later, the man came back with the limp dog
in his arms.
His friend asked him, "Is he dead?"
The man answered, "No, he just ran out of gas."
and while talking to a friend, his dog started lapping up
some gasoline that was on the ground.
Suddenly, the dog shot off and the owner ran after him.
A short time later, the man came back with the limp dog
in his arms.
His friend asked him, "Is he dead?"
The man answered, "No, he just ran out of gas."
☼
~ I once had a chemistry professor who would bring a
stress ball to every lecture and place it on the podium.
No one really thought much of it until someone fell
asleep in class.
Without skipping a beat, the professor threw the ball at
the kid.
It hit him square in the head.
Everyone laughed, and fun times were had by all.
That is, until the next day, when the professor walked in
with a baseball.
Not one person fell asleep in that class for the rest of
the semester.
stress ball to every lecture and place it on the podium.
No one really thought much of it until someone fell
asleep in class.
Without skipping a beat, the professor threw the ball at
the kid.
It hit him square in the head.
Everyone laughed, and fun times were had by all.
That is, until the next day, when the professor walked in
with a baseball.
Not one person fell asleep in that class for the rest of
the semester.
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as
much as you please. - Mark Twain
much as you please. - Mark Twain
Raes Trivia.......
Elvis treated his hair so harshly with dyes and styling
products that, by the time he was forty,
it had turned totally white.
products that, by the time he was forty,
it had turned totally white.
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