Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Good Morning, Friends....
This hump's day weather....
Mostly sunny.... Highs in the upper 80s.
Scattered showers and thunderstorms...
Chance of rain 50 percent.
I'm reading 62ยบ now....

Boy! you are a smart one....
Must not be a morning cat.....

Oh no... you didn't....
What is Aunt Tille gonna say??

He can't figure what the hell is that??

Better keep your day job!!...
That joke is older then me......

Oh, No, not again.....
No more presents...Please!

Not, Funny!!

I'm tellin!!

I think he's had enough.....
Cut him off......

I like Paula deen, she's a great cook...
And I like good southern cooking....

But I would not ride this bike!
Too many sharp points....

Well, I guess I better move out....

♥♥♥

~  When my friend spotted a blind man and his guide
dog at a crosswalk, she stopped her car and waved
them on.
"Uh, Barbara," I said, "he can't see you."
"I know that," she said indignantly.
"I'm waving the dog on."

~  The R-ville bakery has pedigree papers for their
loafs...
They take pride in the fact that all their loafs are pure
bread...

~  Three animals were having a huge argument over who
was the best.
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to
fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above,
and his prey had nary a chance.
 The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength ...
None in the forest dared to challenge him.
 The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor
strength to frighten off any creature.
 As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along
and swallowed them all ... hawk, lion and stinker.


 ~  A kid says to his father "Daddy, I don't know what I
want to do when I grow up."
The father says "Son, you are going to make the world
sparkle."
The boy smiles and runs off to pretend that he is a
super hero, a teacher, or a doctor.
The boy's mother says to the father.. "How nice of you
to cheer him up."
Her husband replies....
"What's cheerful about being a janitor?"

~  After visiting my son at his base, I complained to my
brother-in-law: "Security there is so tight,
you practically have to give up your firstborn to get in."
He replied, "You did."

*  An angry husband is not satisfied with his wife and
he sends a message to his Mother-in-law.
It reads, "Your product is not matching my requirements."
The smart mother-in-law replies: "Warranty expired;
manufacturer not responsible after the seal has been
broken."

*  I called my wife from work yesterday afternoon and
told her that I wanted to eat out.
There was a damn burrito on the porch when I got home.


 ~  Hugh Hefner admitted that Crystal Harris called off
their planned wedding at the Playboy Mansion.
At least one reason was that she caught him sending
out pictures on Twitter of himself in Depends.
Who knows how much this will cost him.
Hefner had the minister lined up for the wedding,
the caterer lined up for the reception and the paramedics
lined up for the honeymoon.

*  You know... "When I was a boy I was told that anybody
could become President.
 Now I'm beginning to believe it."

☼ 
~  When my Dad, a good ol'boy from the South, visited
me in Manhattan, I treated him to dinner at an elegant
French restaurant. 
Since he was out of his element, I ordered for him,
choosing  Beef Bourguignon with a side of polenta which
he loved. 
That night, I overheard him on the phone with my
stepmother.
 "Dinner was great," he raved. 
"But you won't believe how much they charge here for
pot roast and grits.

Todays Thought:
 Republicans believe that every day is July 4th.
Democrats believe that every day is April 15th.
Ronald Reagan


Rae's Trivia...
When cats scratch furniture, it isn’t an act of malice.
They are actually tearing off the ragged edges of the
sheaths of their claws to expose the new sharp ones
beneath.






 

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