The weather here is....
Mostly sunny. Highs in the lower 90s.
Northwest winds 5 to 10 mph.
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Oh, no....Pete done killed a hot dog...
Shame on you......
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It's kitty's breakfast time....
Good Baby sitter....Huh?
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I'm gonna eat that Apple......
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Don't look like Capt. America...
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No thank you... you go ahead and make it......
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Yes it is, isn't it??
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Hey,... one way to keep cool.....
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No thanks....don't like pickled fly's.....
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This is what they do behind your back.....
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No thanks, my ride is below ▼
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Let's take to the sky's
in the bird plane....
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♥♥♥
* A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar
voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked,
Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.
"In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked,
Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.
"In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
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* At one point during a game, the coach called one of
his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, '
Do you understand what cooperation is?
What a team is?'
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win
or lose together as a team?'
The little boy nodded 'yes'.
'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when
an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse,attack the
umpire, or call him a pecker-head.
Do you understand all that?'
The little boy nodded 'yes' again.
He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so
another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good
sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb ass' is it?'
The little boy shook his head 'NO'.
'GOOD', said the coach.
'Now go over there and explain all that to your
grandmother. '
his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, '
Do you understand what cooperation is?
What a team is?'
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win
or lose together as a team?'
The little boy nodded 'yes'.
'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when
an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse,attack the
umpire, or call him a pecker-head.
Do you understand all that?'
The little boy nodded 'yes' again.
He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so
another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good
sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb ass' is it?'
The little boy shook his head 'NO'.
'GOOD', said the coach.
'Now go over there and explain all that to your
grandmother. '
☼
* A Sunday school teacher asked her little children,
as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
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* Two blondes, Carol and Rae, were walking down the
street.
Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned
down to pick it up.
She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm,
this person looks familiar."
Rae said, "Let me look!"
So Carol handed her the Compact.
Rae looked in the mirror and said,"You dummy.......
it's me!
street.
Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned
down to pick it up.
She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm,
this person looks familiar."
Rae said, "Let me look!"
So Carol handed her the Compact.
Rae looked in the mirror and said,"You dummy.......
it's me!
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* This guy was walking along and got really thirsty and
decided to stop at a house and ask for something to
drink,
The lady of the house let him in and gave him some
water and a bowl of soup.
The guy noticed she had a little pig running around and
it kept coming up and rubbing against him.
He says, That sure is a friendly little pig you've got there!!
She says, He's not friendly........
You're eating out of his bowl!!
decided to stop at a house and ask for something to
drink,
The lady of the house let him in and gave him some
water and a bowl of soup.
The guy noticed she had a little pig running around and
it kept coming up and rubbing against him.
He says, That sure is a friendly little pig you've got there!!
She says, He's not friendly........
You're eating out of his bowl!!
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* Called my friend who only has one arm.
He told me that he was just about to change a lightbulb.
I asked if he wanted me to stop by and do it for him -
but he said 'Its ok I can do it myself, I kept the receipt'
He told me that he was just about to change a lightbulb.
I asked if he wanted me to stop by and do it for him -
but he said 'Its ok I can do it myself, I kept the receipt'
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* A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog
named Mace.
Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the
mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace
inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in the
backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall
grass.
He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to
call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all
the grass in the backyard.
The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw
his wrench glinting in the sunlight.
Realizing what had happened he looked toward the
heavens and proclaimed,
"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a
wrench for me!"
named Mace.
Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the
mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace
inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in the
backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall
grass.
He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to
call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all
the grass in the backyard.
The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw
his wrench glinting in the sunlight.
Realizing what had happened he looked toward the
heavens and proclaimed,
"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a
wrench for me!"
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* Telling my friends......
We should drop off a car at the police station before
going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
We should drop off a car at the police station before
going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
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* Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on
a plane: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go!
This one's empty ... no-one's looking... you go in first.
It's a bit cramped - let me sit down.
Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on."
Sniff... sniff...
"Ah perfume - you think of everything!"
"This is great....." (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker; then a new voice:
"This is the captain speaking, to those two people in
the rear toilet, we know what you're doing and it is
expressly forbidden by airline regulations!
Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off
the smoke detector!"
a plane: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go!
This one's empty ... no-one's looking... you go in first.
It's a bit cramped - let me sit down.
Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on."
Sniff... sniff...
"Ah perfume - you think of everything!"
"This is great....." (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker; then a new voice:
"This is the captain speaking, to those two people in
the rear toilet, we know what you're doing and it is
expressly forbidden by airline regulations!
Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off
the smoke detector!"
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* When my therapist said I needed supervision,
I thought I was getting a super power!
I thought I was getting a super power!
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* English lesson, and the teacher called on Christopher
to recite a sentence with a direct object.
Christopher stood and thought, then said,
"Teacher, everybody thinks you are beautiful."
"Why thank you, Christopher," the teacher said,
blushing.
"But what is the direct object?"
"A good report card next month," he replied.
to recite a sentence with a direct object.
Christopher stood and thought, then said,
"Teacher, everybody thinks you are beautiful."
"Why thank you, Christopher," the teacher said,
blushing.
"But what is the direct object?"
"A good report card next month," he replied.
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Today's Thought;
If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared
to compromise on anything at any time, and you would
achieve nothing. - Margaret Thatcher
to compromise on anything at any time, and you would
achieve nothing. - Margaret Thatcher
Rae's Trivia.....
Thomas Edison, "the Wizard of Menlo Park,"
established an "invention factory," the first industrial
research laboratory, with the hope of producing a new
invention every ten days.
In one 4-year period, he obtained 300 patents, or one
every five days.
established an "invention factory," the first industrial
research laboratory, with the hope of producing a new
invention every ten days.
In one 4-year period, he obtained 300 patents, or one
every five days.
And did you know....
Before his success in Dobie Gillis and Gilligan’s Island,
Bob Denver had been a schoolteacher...
Bob Denver had been a schoolteacher...
&
The rock group Jethro Tull is named after the eighteenth
-century Englishman who invented the seed drill.
-century Englishman who invented the seed drill.
1 comment:
Ahhhh Gus you can't blame Carol for not recognising me we've never met just swap emails LOL
Rae xx
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