# 1330

This all that blogger posted, after going down....
Oh, well tomorrow is another day.....

Good Morning, Friends.....
Had some t-Storms last night, but gonna be great
for the next couple days......but Hot-Hot for the
Holiday weekend.....
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Just a lite breakfast this morning...

Maybe some toast, with it.....

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Some oak for Petes Smoker.....

It's cut up and ready for ya, Pete.....

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Not a thing...how about you??

These "Gater Guys" know how to get Gaters.....

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Yeah, thanks....it's uncomfortable too...

Since you got fat.......

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Looks like you have had a few Cheeseburger's...

Fat "Bubba".....

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"Chuck Norris... can with one round kick...

He will take you out.......

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Now...Why would anyone sit on Eno's couch??

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Ready to go swimming??

Boy! this would soil your underwear......

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A secure parking area??

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Boy...talk about soiling yourself......

See you in the morning....

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♥♥♥

*  Any argument about where to pitch a campsite

results in a tent situation.

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*  An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he

had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.
The airline had a policy which required the first officer
to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile,
and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."
He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard
time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that
someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old
lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said,

"Did we land or were we shot down?"

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*  Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.

Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the
ground.

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*  Manny is almost 29 years old. His friends have

already gotten married, but Manny still just dates and
dates.
 Finally, a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you
looking for the perfect woman?
Are you that particular?
Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
 "No," Manny replies. "I meet many nice girls,
but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents,
my Mother doesn't like them.
So I keep on looking!"
 "Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a

girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?"

 Many weeks go by and again Manny and his friend get
together.
"So, Manny, did you find that perfect girl yet--one
that's just like your Mother?"
 Manny shrugs his shoulders, "Yes, I found one just like
Mom.
And my mother loved her, and they became fast friends."
 So should I congratulate you?
"Are you and this girl engaged, yet?"
"I'm afraid not.
My Father can't stand her!"

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*  What does receiving a beating by police actually

taste like?
Try the delicious new snack : Truncheon Munch.

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*  "We do feature a smoking section on this flight;

if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew
 and we will escort you to the wings."

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*  Enticed by a television promotion, my wife ordered
a popular exercise machine on a 30-day trial offer.
Two weeks later she decided not to buy it, and called
UPS to arrange for a pickup.
 The next day the UPS driver arrived at our house.
"Oh no, not another one of these," he said.  
"All I've been doing is delivering these machines,
then picking them up.
The only person getting exercise from these things is me!"

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* During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice

completely for two days. 
To help me communicate with him, my husband devised
a system of taps.
 One tap meant "Give me a kiss." 
Two taps meant "No." 
Three taps meant "Yes."
and 95 taps meant "Take out the garbage."

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*  Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a

woman's sex drive by up to 90%.
It's called wedding cake.

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~  Adam was talking to God one day, and asked,

"why did you make Eve so pretty?"
God replied, "So you would love her".
Adam then asked, "why did you make her such a good
cook?".
God replied, "So that you would love her".
Adam asked, "Why does she have such a heavenly
smile?".
God said "So you would love her".
Finally, Adam asked "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God replied, "So that she would love you!".

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Todays Thought:

 Never answer an anonymous letter. - Yogi Berra

Rae's Trivia....

During World War I, because of their acute hearing,

parrots were kept on the Eiffel Tower to warn of
approaching aircraft long before the planes were heard
or seen by human spotters.

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
I 'm reading 71º this morning...
t-storms this afternoon... 90º today...
Muggy and warm today...
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Breakfast this morning, Pete?

or is your arm to sore to eat... or cook...??

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Their just hanging out, waiting for breakfast...

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The bird looks bewildered...

Don't know what breakfast is....

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Not that clumsy....

Damn, that looks dumb......

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I thought I would throw a couple of Doc funnys....

Went to the Docs yesterday....

He might look in.....

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Doc likes fly fishing......

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Dr. Kitty's on call.......

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What can I say??

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Your too fat,... can't do that.....

you'll have to save yourself... Bubba......

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I guess he got stressed out....

Seems like a lot go into Rehab, these days....

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These are some weird bikes......

someone has too much time on their hands....

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Gotta go...I ain't staring at Mrs. Chiggers...

She wins......

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♥♥♥

*  Just before Easter I remarked to my wife that,
with the children grown and away from home,
this was the first year that we hadn't dyed eggs and had
an Easter-egg hunt.
 "That's all right, honey."
She said "We can just hide each other's vitamin pills."

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*  I accompanied my husband when he went to get a
haircut. 
Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself,
 so I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine
next door to make a copy of the photo.
 "Leave some ID, a driver's licence or credit card,"
she said. 
"But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained.
 "Yes,"  she replied.
"But I need something you'll come back for."

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*  At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the
guests to see who had been married the longest. 
Since it turned out to be my husband and me, the DJ
asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly
married couple.
I said, "The three most important words in a marriage
are, 'you're probably right.'
 Everyone then looked expectantly at my husband.
"She's probably right," he said.

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 *  You do people a good turn when you trust them with
a secret. 
They feel so important while telling it.

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*  As I was stepping into the shower after an afternoon
of yard work, my wife walked into the bathroom. 
"What do you think the neighbours would say if I cut the
grass dressed like this?" I asked.
 Giving me a casual glance, she replied. 
"They'd say I married you for your money."

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*  Our dentist recently hired a beautiful young blonde as
a dental hygienist. 
We exchanged small talk for half an hour as she cleaned
my teeth and I gazed into her pale-blue-eyes. 
When she finished, she smiled and said, "You have the
most perfect mouth......" My heart skipped a beat.
 Then she continued: "  Usually I have a lot of trouble
reaching people's wisdom teeth. 
But your mouth is so big, I can get both hands in easily!"

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* She said; For my fourth Caesarean section I opted for
a bikini incision, which, along with the previous scars,
would form an arrow on my tummy. 
"Honey," my husband joked when I told him,
"after 13 years and 4 kids, I hardly need directions."

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~ I used to eat fish in the nude,
until I was cod with my pants down.

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~  My wife has been missing a week now.
Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes
back.

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~ They told me the world is my oyster.....
but I'm allergic to shellfish.

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Todays Thought:

I like pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
-Winston Churchill

Rae's Trivia.....

The father of the pink flamingo (the plastic lawn
ornament) was Don Featherstone of Massachusetts.
Featherstone graduated from art school and went to
work as a designer for Union Products, a Leominster,
Massachusetts company that manufactured flat plastic
lawn ornaments.
He designed the pink flamingo in 1957 as a follow-up
project to his plastic duck.
Today, Featherstone is president and part owner of the
company that sells an average of 250,000 to 500,000
plastic pink flamingos a year.

Good Morning , friends.....
80-90º today with scattered showers today...
66º degrees right now......
And Pete....I hope you feel better.....
I guess it's all that smoked meat.....ha-ha....
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Not to sick for a BLT...

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Yeah, he will take care of it.......

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See what happens when you get under the weather??

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It's still a Purse...Skippy!!

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See, what's on my laptop......

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Most in my house aren't...

They'll sleep until noon if you let them.....

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Cool helmet.... not many around like that....

maybe cause looks dumb.....

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Looks like someones going to get a wet leg.....

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Boy, do I remember these....

Brings back memories.......

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Time to get outta here...

If I can get the truck down.....

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♥♥♥

*  Gus and Pete are out hunting deer.
Gus  said, "Did you see that?"
"No,"Pete says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," Gus said.
"Oh," said Pete .
A couple of minutes later, Gus says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?"Pete asks.
"Are you blind?
There was a big, black bear walking on that hill,
over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later Gus says: "Did you see that?"
By now, Pete is getting aggravated, so he says,
"Yes, I did!"
Gus says: "Then why did you step in it?"

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*  I wish my wife could.... put her cell phone and keys
in that little place in her mind where every little thing I
have done wrong for the last 25 years is stored.

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*  At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think
you owe me a drink.”
Why?
 “You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you”

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*  Airman Martin was assigned to the induction center,
where he advised new recruits about their government
benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Jones noticed that Airman
Martin was having a staggeringly high success-rate,
selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he
advised.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the
back of the room and listened to Pete's  sales pitch.
Pete explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new
recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and
go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay
$250,000 to your beneficiaries.
If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle
and get killed, the government only has to pay a
maximum of $6000.
Now," he concluded, "which groups do you think they
are going to send into battle first?"

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*  A cop pulls a young guy over:
"Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid.
"Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop.
Yup, but I didn't see you!

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*  "I'm sick of you teasing me about my weight,"
my wife snapped as she walked out the door.
 "Please babe don't go," I pleaded.....
"Think of our son."
"What son?" She said.
"You're not pregnant?"

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*  Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

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*  A man and his wife were returning from a party one
evening.
As the couple was driving home, she asked her husband,
"Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome,
sexy and irresistible to women you are?"
Totally flattered, he replied, "No, dear they haven't."
At that point she yelled, "Then what the heck gave you
THAT idea at the party tonight?"

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*  Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend.
Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date
for her daughter.
When the girl got back from the date she said
"That was the worst night of my life!"
"Why is that?" her mom asked.
"He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!"
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"He's the original owner mom!"

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*  A yawn is merely the opening of your own mouth to
urge other people to shut theirs.

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Todays thought:

 The problem with the world is that everyone is a few
drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart

Rae's Trivia......

The first "braces" were constructed by Pierre Fauchard
in 1728.
Fauchard's "braces" consisted of a flat strip of metal,
which was connected to teeth by pieces of thread.

 

Good Morning, everyone...

Were having some great weather....I'm reading 60º

In the 80's today.....Partly cloudy....

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The cook is getting breakfast ready...

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Not breakfast, but looks good....

this morning....

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I hate to tell you this...

Not my beer... I no gots any....

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I don't know....you look serious, but I don't think you are....

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What! your not going to let me play wif it....

I'm going home.....

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Just won the title of "worlds Ugliest dog"...

I think there were some more uglier..

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Another contestant and his dog.....

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No, I'm not playing Basket ball wif a frog...

They jump around too much....

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Still looks like a kitty......

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Yes, I know....

plenty naps, plenty to eat......

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Well, time to get outt here, I see a unicorn crossing the street....

I'll get him.........

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♥♥♥

*  A man being mugged by two thugs put up a

tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised
 thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied
"I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in
my shoe!"

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*  A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went

home to sleep.
He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone
rang.
What time do you open up in the morning?
He heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
 The owner was so furious, he slammed down the
receiver and went back to bed.
A few minutes later there was another call and he heard
the same voice ask the same question.
Listen, the owner shouted, there's no sense in asking
me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in
your condition in....
"I don't want to get in, the caller interjected.
I want to get out".

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*  Some kids play Kick the can.

Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

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*  These two guys were approaching the first tee.

The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says
 to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball?"
 He draws a green golf ball out of his bag.
"You can't lose it."
His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!"
The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it.
If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound,
if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if
you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for
you to find it."
 Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but he shows
him all the possibilities until he is convinced.
The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible!
Where did you get that ball?!"
 The man replies, "I found it."

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*  I quit drinking and took up showering:

I’m clean and soapier.

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*  Jan said:  I was at a party, and this guy was hitting on

me, and he's hitting on me with the most boring
questions.
One of them was, If you could go anywhere in the world,
where would you go?
And I was like, Anywhere?
He was like, Anywhere.
I was like, Uh -- to the other side of the room.
Now, please, get out of the way of a woman and her
dream.

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* Application to college....

Please answer these Questions as accurate as you can...
1. Are your parents rich?
2. Do you hate the Fox News Network?
3. If you are only 17, do you have have a really cool fake
I.D.?
4. Do you have a problem with long haired Balding
Professors that want to hump you?
 5. Do you like "Extra credit!!!"
6. Isnt Keith Oberman the coolest!!!
7. If you want to graduate early,
The networks are hiring anchors..
And in closing..

trust all older men if they got a bow tie....

They got money, and will save you the effort

of you having to go down and vote.

Hell, They will help your dog vote,

if he is incapapacited, or dead...

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*  There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his

reputation for being so slow.
He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the
difference.
 After shopping around a while, he decided that the
Datson 240-Z was the car to get.
So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says
he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted
"240-S".
 The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.
 I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know
who's driving."
 Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique
opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have
the car repainted for a small fee.
 The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days
roaring happily down the highway at top speed.
And whenever anyone would see him zooming by,
they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

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 ~ What a night.
Dude: I wasn't that drunk!
Friend: Dude, you were walking around with a bucket
on head saying "LUKE... I am your father..."

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~ shot my first deer today!!!

the petting zoo owner was pissed!

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Todays thought:

 "Sometimes our flame goes out, but is blown again

into instant flame by an encounter with another human
being." - Albert Schweitzer

Rae's Trivia.....

The word trivia derives from the Latin tri + via,

which translates as "three streets."
As a major public service in Roman times, at the
intersection of three streets, there was a kind of kiosk
where further info was posted for travelers.
Apparently these data were so useless that citizens
often ignored them entirely: thus, they were truly bits
of "trivia."