I have 21º right now, and partly cloudy...
Petewete tells me what he fixes for breakfast....
I gain weight just reading about it......
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Yesterdays Sunrise....cold all day...
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Any one care to join me? we could just sit and talk......
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I hope not.....
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Anyone seen a fur coat laying around...
Seemed he lost his.....
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You wanna fight? Put your dukes up...
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Oh, yes, you didn't close your windows, Huh !
I did that only one time..
It rained all night and I went to work with a wet butt...
Lesson learned!
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Yep... now bend brown.....
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Okay, lay it on me.....
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Oh, no...your are too young for that......
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Someone's gonna get a ticket.....
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I gotta go on this one......
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♥♥♥
~~ Went to a teaparty rally......
One of the members was a Muslim who believed in the
constitution and listened to Palin and talk radio.
A liberal shot him just in case.
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~~ Two blondes are walking down the street,
as one tells the other; "Guess what happened to me today?
I bumped into a friend I haven't seen for over 20 years."
"So what?" replies the other blonde.
"I just bumped into somebody I've never seen before."
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~~ A Quality Engineer married an average girl…
After 24 months of tough life with her, finally the Engineer got
angry and sent a note to his father-in-law stating that:
'YOUR PRODUCT IS NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS'
The smart father-in-law replies,
'WARRANTY EXPIRED..........
MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE'
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~~ It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother,
but John felt that he must.
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"Mom, you are no longer a spring chicken and you do need to
think ahead of what will happen in the future.
Why don't we make arrangements about when..... you know...
when.... God forbid... you pass on?"
The mother didn't say anything, just sat there staring ahead.
"I mean, Mom, like.... how do you want to finally go?
Do you want to be buried? Cremated?"
There was yet another long pause.
Then the mother looked up and said,....
"Son, why don't you simply surprise me?"
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~~ My friend said, I've just bought myself one of those
relaxation CD's with the whale noises on it.
I can't say it's worked but for some reason my wife is really
horny.
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~~ After a number of attacks on hikers and campers in
Alaska, the Department of Fish and Game released the
following advisory:
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on
their clothing so as not to startle bears.
We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them
in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between
Black Bear and Grizzly Bear poop.
Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and
squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
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~~ I've just renamed my WiFi network to...
"Police Surveillance Van #02".
That should keep my pikey neighbors on their toes for a while.
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~~ We don't have much.
The bulk of which is tied up in 401 Kstreet.
Plan to die poor like we came into this world.
But it aint all bad,.. I hear tell Jesus was poor as well.
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~~ What's black, white, black, white, and green?
Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
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~~ A father thought it was about time to lecture his son,
who was somewhat scatter-brained and frivolous.
"Jim," he said, "You're getting to be a man now and you
ought to take life more seriously.
Just think . . .if I died all of a sudden, where would you be?"
"I'd be right here, dad," said Jim.
"The question is, where would you be?"
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~~ Climate change is affecting the POLAR BEAR population
causing a LOT of BIpolar bears...
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Todays Thought: "Consider the postage stamp. Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there."
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Some Triva: Why was Alice's cat made of cheese?
When England was a province of Rome, the city of Cheshire
was noted for its fine cheese.
The Romans built a wall around the town to protect it.
Cheshire cheese was made in a mold shaped like a cat,
later made famous as the smiling feline in Lewis Carroll's
Alice in Wonderland.
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