Good Morning , People of the world....
We got a cold morning... even some snow flurries..
Carol, is sending the cold wind down here...
Pete, we need to Hibernate....
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Yesterdays Sunrise....
Hey ! some people never get to see them.....
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Damn, Deer is still in my yard....
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Hey ! I said no cream....Please...
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Drink again! You need the coffee.....
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So, you were the one!!
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Oh no, you didn't.... I thought I smelled something....
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You ain't right!!
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All for ME!!
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Get it off!! Get it off.......
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Oh, No!
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Like mt six pack ab's...?
Time to leave.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Why do they put bells on cows?
Because their horns don't work!
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~~ "Look at me," an arrogant gentleman boasted to his
guests at his birthday bash.
"I've aged like a fine, old, carefully stored wine."
"I certainly have to agree with that."
piped up his obviously long-suffering spouse.
"Henry's cork's been stationary for years."
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~~ Gracie was Irish and could be very tough.
She always demanded that I treat her like the lady she was.
One day we were walking into a restaurant and she kicked
me as hard as she could.
"Next time you'll remember to hold the door for me."
- George Burns -
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~~ A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-faced
lady answered.
"What party does your husband belong to?" he asked.
The lady responded curtly, "I sir, am the party he belongs to."
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~~ Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan,
called the insurance company.
Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured
for fifty thousand and I want my money."
The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan.
Insurance doesn't work quite like that.
We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide
you with a new one of comparable worth."
There was a long pause before Susan replied,
"Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.
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~~ Q: What is a zebra?
A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
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~~ Life insurance agent to would-be client:
"Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision.
Sleep on it tonight.....
If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."
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~~ Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out
of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
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~~ A man lost both of his arms in a car accident.
When he recovered in the hospital, he found that he was
useless and decided to commit suicide by jumping out of a
10th-story window.
As he looked down from the window, he saw a man with no
arms just like him dancing wildly and happily on the street.
He decided to find out what made this man so happy.
Arriving on the street, he asked, "Hey, brother, stop dancing
for a minute and tell what your secret is that you are so happy."
The dancing man responded, "What do you mean, happy?
My butt itches like hell, but I can't reach it."
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~~ The flea can jump 350 times its body length.
It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
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~~ At a formal function one evening, the actress
Susan Hampshire, boasting a remarkably slinky low-cut dress,
was introduced to Prince Charles.
"Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours,
" the prince declared, "I must look her straight in the eyes."
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~~ Waiter to customer: "What do you mean the service is
poor?...... I haven't given you any yet."
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Todays Thought: Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
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