Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, every one.....

Going to be a great weekend.....57º now and going to 75º today..

Also clear and 75º tomorrow.

Listening to Bluegrass and thinking of breakfast......

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Miss "Maggie" loves warm beds...

I don't like her in bed with me as I'm afraid I'll roll over

and squish her...

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Miss "Sadie" will take over the whole bed......

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You two get off the bed, dogs are bad enought...

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He only wants to play... he don't eat Lady bugs....

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You better hide.....

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Three Easter Dogs??

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You don't look like your Blushing to me.....

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Damn, I don't know what to say......

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Eno, go buy some Toothpaste..

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Well, time to go....Pete ya think it will get over the mountain??

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~~ Pete asked his wife, Pat,"Can you please help me find a match for my sock?"

She answered, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire?"

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~~ Meeting with my new pastor,
I asked if I could have a church service when I eventually die.
"Of course," he said, grabbing his date book.
"What day to you want?"

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~~ While I was in the hospital, a nurse came in to check
my blood sugar.
Before she started, the nurse examined my red fingertips,
which had been poked numerous times already, and said,
"Humm...which finger should we use this time that won't
hurt too much?"
"Yours," I replied.

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~~ Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV
when I heard my wife's' voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken,
Beef or Lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She replied "You're having soup....... moron.
I was talking to the cat."

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~~ A couple of friends meet after a long time:
"I divorced my wife." One says.
"Really? How did you do it?"
"We hired a lawyer who helped divide the assets and stuff."
"What about the kids?"
"Well,...we've decided that whoever got more money would
also take the kids."
"That sounds fair. And who got them?
"The lawyer."

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~~ A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me,
I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says,
"That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the
bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects
his money again.
"What's going on here?" the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains,
"This is a Singles Bar."

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~~ Question on second-grade math quiz: Tony drank 1/6 of
a glass of juice.
Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more....
Explain."
My grandson's answer impressed his teacher:
"She was more thirsty."

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~~ While I was out walking, I approached the driveway of a
house set far back from the road.
Suddenly the door flew open and a young fellow, about four,
burst through and tore down the lane with his mother in hot
pursuit.
The boy raced in front of me, determination and fear of
impending discipline written on his face, repeating fervently:
"Lord, give me strength.
Lord, give me strength."

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~~ A salty cruising boat pulled into dock, and a stunningly
beautiful woman stepped off with a parrot on her shoulder.
“Where did you get that?” asked one of the dock hands.
“Met her online,” replied the parrot.

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~~ My five-year-old, Christina, asked what I did at work.
I explained that part of my job in the research lab was
experimenting with mice and rats.
Weeks later, at a school function, Christina's teacher
expressed interest in my job.
"The children were describing where their parents work,"
she chuckled, "and Christina told us that her mom works
for rats."

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~~ "According to the 'Wall Street Journal', researchers at
Harvard have found an enzyme in the brain that regulates
obesity.
They said if it wasn't for our brains, we would all be thin.
That's why supermodels are so skinny."~Jay Leno

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~~ Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the news.

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Todays thought:  My mother used to say, "The older you get, the better you get.

Unless you're a banana."

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