# 1065

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors...

I guess we will have a rainy weekend...

But It won't make us mad.....

We can sure use it....

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You gonna sit on them, Huh??

I don't want any now.....

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Weird looking dog.....

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What are you looking at?

An't you ever saw anyone licking them selfs?

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I don't know? but its not playing that stupid game....

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That knife is not very sharp... is it??

So that's what I can do with my old ones...

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That chicken doesn't want to be in that soup...

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Well, I guess i'll fire it up and leave now....

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♥♥♥

~~ Experts say the recession is over.

Earlier today, they were popping champagne at the
unemployment office.

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~~ "Didn't you say that I weighed eight pounds at birth?"
Tommy asked his mother.
She said that yes, he had.
"The scale must have been off," he replied,
checking the encyclopedia.
"Storks don't have the wingspan to carry an
 eight-pound load."

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~~ I have a book coming out in the morning!
...I should never have eaten it in the first place.......

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~~ A man riding out in the bush fell from his horse and
broke his leg.
He was a long way out, so the situation looked pretty grim.
Then the horse grabbed the man's belt in his teeth
and dragged
him to the shade of a nearby tree.
He made the man as comfortable as he could and then
galloped off to get help.
The man discussed the incident a few weeks later with
a friend, who...very impressed...praised the horse's
intelligence.
"He's not so smart," said the animal's owner.
"He came back with a vet."

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~~ I do the water and sewer billing for a small city.
Customers complained about our postcard-sized bills --
which they said looked too much like junk mail.
So we decided to start sending full-sized bills in
envelopes.
The month before the switch, I had a note printed on
the cards, announcing the change.
Two days later, I heard someone yelling at
our receptionist,
"Is this some kind of joke?"
When the customer threw his bill upon the desk,
 I saw his point.
The note was, "Coming soon! New Larger Bills!"

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~~ Just before the funeral services,
 the undertaker came up to
the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

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~~ I am going to open a Mexican- German restaurant
 and call it Beaner Schnitzel!

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~~ Pete's wife sent him out last night to buy her
something to make her look pretty.....
He came home with a 12-pack of Coors and and fifth
 of JD.
He said "The couch is comfortable enough."

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~~ When Ruby spotted her husband standing on the
bathroom scale holding his stomach in,
she thought he was trying to reduce his weight
and remarked.
"That won't help you very much."
"It most certainly will" he replied.
"It is the only way that I can read the numbers.

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~~ A man rushed to the jewelry counter in the store
where I work soon after the doors opened one morning
and said he needed a pair of diamond earrings.
I showed him a wide selection, and quickly he picked
out a pair.
When I asked him if he wanted the earrings gift-wrapped,
he said, "That'd be great.
But can you make it quick?
I forgot today was my anniversary, and my wife thinks
I'm taking out the trash."

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Todays Thought:  A team is where a boy can prove his courage on his own.A gang is where a coward goes to hide.

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