Well, it's a good Sunday Morning...
Hope everyone is having a good one...
I guess the Hummingbirds are getting ready to leave.
I think over half has already gone.....
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You all are going to be still while I take this Elephants picture...
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Damn, he getting to close..... "Smile"
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I'm getting outta here..... that bugger is too big....
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Yah, and he bit me......
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And Jerry goes to them meetings...
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Okay...Okay... I'll give it to you.....
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Just cruising along, getting ready to fish....
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Okay, Pete, try these cool tricks.......
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Their good teachers......
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Damn it....he's mad, he tried the water tricks.....
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Thats me........
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♥♥♥
~~ IT'S SO HOT AND DRY~~
Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling,
The Methodists are using wet-wipes,
Presbyterians are giving rain checks,
And the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn
back into water!
☼
~~ Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded
elevator.
Suddenly a lady in the front turned around,
slapped Little Johnny's dad, and then left in a huff.
"That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said.
Little Johnny remarked,
"I didn't like her either, Daddy.
She stepped on my toe.
So I pinched her butt."
☼
~~ An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check
to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder,
and cold cream.
On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs."
☼
~~ Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding whereby you put your
money in your trouser pockets and give your jacket to your
creditors.
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~~ The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one
morning.
"I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line."
"This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said.
"We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."
"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied.
"Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
☼
~~ My 13-year-old son, Waylon, had been playing
a lot of hockey games and one Sunday we attended
church before his next game.
We knew Waylon had been on the rink too much when,
at the end of the service, as we lined up to greet the
pastor, he shook the pastor's hand and said,
"Good game."
☼
~~ On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom,
Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like
this: in the evening if my hair is done, that means I don't
want sex at all.
If my hair is somewhat undone, that means
I may or may not have sex.
Last....if my hair is completely undone, that means I
want sex..."
The groom replied: "Okay sweetheart.
Just make we aware that when I come home, I usually
have a drink... If I have only one drink, that means
I don't want sex.
If I have two drinks, I may or may not be wanting sex.
But if I drink more than two.... your hair won't matter!
☼
~~ The last thing my friend Christy was prepared
for was an invitation to a costume party.
Eight and a half months pregnant,
she was in no shape for any conventional costume.
Still, she wanted to go, so she painted a big yellow
circle on an extra-extra-large white T-shirt,
dug a pair of red devil horns out of her kids'
Halloween junk pile...and went as a deviled egg.
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~~ State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art
computer to become obsolete.
☼
~~ "A new survey found that 48 percent of Americans
are willing to try out a nude beach for vacation.
And my guess is that it's the wrong 48 percent."
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~~ "Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be
president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be
vice president." - Johnny Carson
☼
~~ I was not thrilled with the idea of letting my clueless
13-year- old son babysit his younger brothers,
even though he begged me to.
"What about a fire?"
I asked, referring to my No. 1 concern.
"Mom," he said, rolling his eyes,
"I'm a Boy Scout.......
I know how to start a fire."
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Todays Thought: Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
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