Good Morning, friends.....Nice overcast morning.....Rain today...
"Witchy" sez; It's HOT..HOT down Florida.......
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Yep.... It's overcast....lookin for rain...
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Breakfast time? Looks like their sharing....
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You want a share too ?
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And here I gotta wait in line....
A slow line at that!
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Someone's in a heap of trouble.........
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Over younder.........►
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Mr. Serious cat..... Just taking it all in....
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What can you say??
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Well, I gotta leave now.....Take care...
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♥♥♥
~~ In the late 1800s, not wanting to be outdone by
American rodeo,
an English chap decided to become a rodeo star.
Not having a Horse or any cattle, he cast about
for some way to perform.
His vocation was building outhouses,
and he had several samples behind his home.
He had also installed a couple of standing gas lamps in his yard.
As a start, he decided that lassoing these objects would be
good practice.
After all, he reasoned, they may not be moving targets,
but he could at least gain skill in controlling the rope.
Now he needed a mount.
Not having a Horse, he thought a bicycle would be a good
substitute, and so he grabbed a coil of rope, hopped on his
bicycle and off he went.
He was phenomenally successful, and quickly got the hang of it.
After the Englishman had been practicing for a couple of
weeks, he could ride with no hands, twirling two lassoes
at the same time.
He proceeded to lasso an outhouse,
then immediately followed with a perfect throw over one of
the lamps,
all the while singing,..............
"Here we go loop the loo... Here we go loop the light!"
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~~ I just signed for group insurance.
If I die in a group, I get a hundred thousand!
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~~ We telemarketers know we're universally loathed.
Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.
One day I called a number and asked to speak with
Mr. Morgan.
The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at
that address, but she did have a number where he could be
reached.
I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with,
"Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."
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~~ According to research, older people need less sleep.
Probably because you don’t need too much energy to play bingo.
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~~ Pat told me.....Pete has an annoying habit of searching
through the refrigerator for a snack, usually while I'm
preparing a meal.
Once, after he had gone through this routine for the third
time in as many minutes, I snapped, "Nothing's any different
than it was a minute ago."
"I know that," Pete assured me.
"It's just that this time I've lowered my standards."
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~~ Disorder in the court....
Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately
prior to impact.
A: Immediately before the impact, my right foot was located
at the immediate end of my right leg.
Q: Have you ever beaten your wife?
A: No. I might slap her around a little, but I never beat her.
Q: Just what did you do to prevent the accident?
A: I closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could.
Q: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of
this defendant?
A: Oh, she'll tell you the truth.
She said she was going to kill the son of a gun -- and she did.
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~~ JOAN: Is that your brother?
SHIRLEY: Yes.
JOAN: He's very short, isn't he?
SHIRLEY: Well, he's only my half brother!
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~~ A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his
order.
He said, 'I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and
a pair of running boards.'
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear
stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook,
'This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair
of headlights and a pair of running boards.
What does he think this place is an auto parts store?
'No,' the cook said. 'Three flat tires mean three pancakes;
a pair of headlights. is two eggs sunny side up;
and a pair of running board are 2 slices of crisp bacon!
'Oh. OK!' said the blonde.
She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up
a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, 'What are the beans for Blondie?'
I love this one.
'She replied, 'I thought while you were waiting for the flat
tires, headlights and running boards,
you might as well gas up!
For once the blonde gets even!!!
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Todays thought; A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.
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