Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors......

Hot yesterday but hotter today....

Gonna be 98º today....

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You know he's lookin for breakfast.....

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I don't know if I could get by the dogs here...

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He sezs their carrying off his tin of fish.....

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Oh, NO! not that.......

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Ha, Ha....Yor funny........

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Just glad it's not my finger.........

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Cell phone for us old farts.....

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I dial, for the younger farts.....

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And now Eno.......\

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Okay- Okay I going.......

Better wait 2 hours before going in there....

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~~ Gus and Pete are sittin' on the crick bank fishin' when

Gus turns to Pete and asks, "Pete, you ever git them shoes you
ordered from Sears, Robuck?" (Note to the enlightened: It is
not uncommon to hear Sears referred to as Sears, Robuck in
some parts of the country)
Pete says, "Yes, but I had to send'em back".
"Why" Gus asks?
Pete replies, " They didn't send any instructions with'em".

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~~ Pete and Gus find three hand grenades and decide to
take them to the police station.
"What if one of them explodes before we get
there?", asks Gus.
"Don't worry about it", says Pete.
"We'll just lie and tell them we only found two."

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~~ George Washington wore high-heeled boots, tight satin
pants, a ruffled silk shirt, and a curly wig.
He ran for President in the thirteen colonies and won.
In Waco, Texas, he'd have to run for his life!

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~~ Since I got a big insurance policy, when I leave the house
my wife keeps saying, "Take chances!"

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~~ A North Carolina school committeeman informed his
neighbor that the school board had decided not to renew the
contract of the man who taught science at the high school.
The neighbor expressed his surprise, saying he understood that
this particular teacher had attended many colleges and earned
many degrees.
The school committeeman replied, "That's the trouble with him.
He has been educated way past his intelligence."

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~~ "All right, Andrew," the teacher said to the first-grader,
"let's see you count."
Holding out his hand, Andrew counted off the digits. "One, two,
three, four, five."
Smiling, the teacher said, "Very good, but can you count any
higher?"
Lifting his hand over his head, the boy started over again.

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~~ You know you may be in a redneck church when the
preacher asks Bubba to lead the prayer and 17 men stand up.

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~~ One fine day, Gus and Pete are out golfing.
Gus slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine.
He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into
the ravine in search of his ball.
The brush is quite thick, but gus searches diligently and
suddenly he spots something shiny.
As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a
7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
Gus excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey Pete, come
here; I've got some trouble down here."
Pete comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls
out: "What's the matter Gus? Everything OK?"
Gus shouts back in a nervous voice: "Throw me my 8-iron!
Apparently, you can't get out of here with a 7."

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~~ After supper one evening, I asked my ten-year-old
daughter, Annette, to wash the dishes, and my nine-year-old
son, Ben to wipe them.
Ben asked. "What about Mark?"
"Mark isn't even three years old," I explained.
"So he doesn't count."
As we talked, I became aware that Mark was speaking in the
background.
I tuned into what he was saying: He was counting from one to
ten, for the very first time.
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Todays Thought:  To give a man Dignity is above all things.

Life will be pretty bad when one reaches eighty,
especially if there is a state trooper behind the car.

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