Good Morning....Sorry I'm late...
Not feeling good.....
☺
Maybe this is what I need....naw, it'll
kill me off.....
☺
But I guess he had too many.......
☺
A bear??
☺
Cookie, sez, that bear's next......▲
☺
"Play that Funky music...."
☺
I not saying anything........
☺
Smile for the camera......
☺
Taking the birds pic.......
☺
Watch out for this biker gang, mean......
☺
♥♥♥
☺
~~ Osama Bin-Laden started believing in astrology and went to
a special astrologist to ask him when will be the day he dies.
"You will die on an American holiday", said the astrologist.
"How can you be so sure of that?" asked Bin-Laden.
"Well, any day you die will be an American holiday".
☺
~~ Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day
of her life."
Little Susie thought about this for a moment, then said
"So why is the groom wearing black?
☺
~~ Why haven't they cremated Colonel Sanders yet?
They can't decide whether to do him regular or crispy.
☺
~~ Quote of the Day;
"I was also going to give a graduation speech in Arizona this weekend.
But with my accent, I was afraid they would try to deport me."
-- California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R)
☺
~~ I purchased a new desktop-publishing program that surprised me
by containing a make-a-paper-airplane option.
I decided to give it a try. After I selected the plane I wanted, the software
gave me a choice of accessories available for my plane, including a
stick-up tail, adjustable flaps and an AM/FM radio.
Out of curiosity I chose the AM/FM radio.
The program responded with a message box stating:
"Come on, be serious. These are just paper airplanes."
☺
~~ What does a well hung man have for breakfast?
It doesn't matter, he can't get it past the rope!
☺
~~ Learning to use a voice-recognition computer program,
I was excited about the prospect of finally being able to write more
accurately than I type.
First I read out loud to the computer for about an hour to train it to my
voice, then I opened a clean page and dictated a nursery rhyme to see
the magic.
The computer recorded:
"Murry fed a little clam, its fleas was bright and slow."
☺
~~ Trying to explain to our five-year-old daughter how much computers
had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer
and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same
amount of power would have been the size of a house.
Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”
☺
~~ Top 10 signs your family is stressed...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we
can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned
to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the
number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the
trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
☺
☺
Todays Thoughts: Golf is a lot like taxes —
you drive hard to get to the green and then
wind up in the hole.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺♣☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
No comments:
Post a Comment