Well, the weekend is here...also it's Springs here....
☺
Okay! Pete! now tell Judge Albert why you don't
read the blog every day.....
Bubba,.The JUDGE wants to see you.....
He's your appointed lawyer.....
Stop eating the shades...look for mr. mouse...
Sir...sir...we don't serve cats....sorry.
The jury has gotten tired waiting..
Thanks for the answer..I think..
Someones good at carving.....
Mine too, Eno...
He-he..
☺
♥♥♥
☺
~~ "Here's good news:
For the first time in 30 years, American children have improved their
reading scores.
Now they can read English almost as well as Chinese children."
♦
~~ "Listen to this. The New York Times is now reporting it's possible to
catch the flu from money.
They say the virus can live on a $20 bill for more than 10 days.
So, not only is the virus contagious, it's also very frugal." --Jay Leno
♦
~~ When my insurance company refused to pay for my newborn son's
circumcision, I got a letter explaining its logic.
Under the procedure "Circumcision" was written;
"Unable to locate member."
♦
~~ A doctor observed.
"There is a wicked inclination in most people to suppose an old man
decayed in his intellects.
If a young or middle-aged man, when leaving a company does not
recollect where he laid his hat it is nothing, but if the same inattention is
discovered in an old man, people will shrug their shoulders, and say,
"His memory is going."
♦
~~ Three Irishmen, drunk as can be, come staggering down the street
singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs.
They stop in front of Flaherty's house still singing.
After a few minutes the window flies open and Mrs. Flaherty yells out,
"Why don't you drunken sots go somewhere else!"
"Are you Mrs. Flaherty?" asks one of the drunks.
"You know damn well I am," she says.
"Well, can you tell us which one of us is your husband so the other two
of us can go home?"
♦
~~ A schoolteacher who had been telling a class of small pupils the
story of the discovery of America by Columbus ended with:
"And all this happened more than 400 years ago."
A little boy, his eyes wide open with wonder, said, after a moment's
thought: "Gee! What a memory you've got."
♦
~~ Two born-and-raised New Yorkers take their first trip to the West
Coast, arriving in L.A. just in time for a heat wave.
"Man, it's hot here," the first New Yorker says to his friend.
"What do you expect?" says the friend.
"We're 3,000 miles from the ocean."
♦
~~ Young man," said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant.
"It's alcohol and alcohol alone that's responsible for your present sorry
state!"
"I'm glad to hear you say that," replied Murphy, with a sigh of relief.
"Everybody else says it's all my fault!"
♦
~~In our local school division, kindergarten students attend only half days.
It is a big change for the children when they begin Grade 1 and have
a full day of school.
On my son Ryan's first day of Grade 1, he was tearful when I picked him
up for lunch break.
"The teacher said we have morning school," Ryan explained,
"and then she said we have afternoon school.
I just know she's going to say we have night school!"
♦
~~ Sign in a Vassar math class:
Girls, watch your figures.
♦
~~ A very wealthy old woman in a rolls was trying to parallel park &
having a hard time, She's tried several times...
When a strikingly pretty young lady is a miata Zips right in to the old
womans space & laughed & said see what you can do when your
young & quick!
She headed in to the store & was gone about 15 minutes.
When she got back she see's her car being smashed to peices by
the rolls & As the old girl leaves she gives her the bird & hollars see
what you can do when your old & rich!!!
♦
~~ Under intense parental questioning, a teenage girl admitted that she
was pregnant but couldn't say for sure who the father was.
Her mother was furious.
"Go to your room," she bellowed, "and don't come out until you can
give us a definite answer!"
Later that night, the girl came downstairs apologetically.
"Mom, I think I have an idea who the father might be now."
"I should think so, too!" exclaimed the mother
"The very idea that any daughter of mine could get pregnant so young,
let alone not know the father!"
"Okay," said the girl, "I think I got it narrowed down to the band or the
football team."
♦
♦
Todays Thought: Time is a great teacher.....Unfortunately, it kills all it's pupils.
◄▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬<0>▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬►
No comments:
Post a Comment