Snows over and sunny out.....
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We had some fine snow.....
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Oh...Oh...Bubba...you goofed...
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Ha-Ha...Gotcha!!
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Hot, Biker Chick.....?
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Tattle tail....!!
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Watch it.....
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Yummie...Bacon.....good for what ails ya....
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Thats what ya get for not working out...
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Put your Damn shirt on....
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Well time for me to leave, By..By....
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♥♥♥
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~~ One night a torrential downpour soaked South Louisiana.
The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about
6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor,
Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come.
Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near
the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the
way back to the house.
It kept floating out, then back, out and back.
Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux,
"Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house and
then back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband.
I told him he was going to cut the grass today,
come Hell or High Water!!"
☺
~~ Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to
making women happy?
No?, neither did I.
☺
~~ Roger got to the broken down inn and asked for a room.
"I have only one room left," said the innkeeper.
"But before I give it to you, I have to tell you that room is where
the white-eyed ghost lives."
Roger wasn't worried. "I'll take the room, he said.
"I'm not afraid of ghosts."
That night when Roger went to bed, he heard a scary "Boooooo!
I am the white-eyed ghost...
"Shut up, said Roger...... "I'm tired."
"Boooooooo!" the ghost said again. "I am the white-eyed ghost!"
Roger sat up, reached over, picked up a chair and threw it at
the ghost, who disappeared.
Roger laid down again and shut his eyes.
"Booooooooo!" moaned the voice from the darkness.
"I am the black-eyed ghost..."
☺
~~ Thanks to the automatic teller machine, we no longer have
to tell children that money doesn't grow on trees.
They now think it comes out of a wall.
☺
~~ Gus: What was my name two days ago?
Bobbie: Gus...
Gus: What was my name yesterday?
Bobbie: Gus
Gus: Knock-knock.
Bobbie: Who's there?
Gus: See? You've forgotten me already.
☺
~~ "What do you say when a Martian walks up to you with a
death- ray gun?"
"I give up."
"That's right! Only you say it faster."
☺
~~ A husband stepped on one of those 25 cent scales that tell
you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small,
white card.
"It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
☺
~~ At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked,
a woman called and said, "I need a baseball quote."
I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous;
"It ain't over 'til it's over!"
There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked,
"What was that?"
"You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded,
"and that was the first thing that came into my head."
"Oh," she replied.
"My husband told me to call and get a baseball quote."
I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she did.
Then it dawned on me:
"Do you mean you want a ballpark figure?"
☺
~~ A teacher's constant task is to take a roomful of live wires
and see to it that they're grounded.
☺
~~ We were expecting holiday guests and I was anxious to
make our house as festive as possible.
Every time I went to the mall, the miniature Dickens-era village
under our Christmas tree grew.
I added a train station, chocolate shop, toy store and bakery.
Then I enhanced the cultural life of the village with a school and
a gazebo for band concerts.
After one especially productive shopping trip,
I put in a restaurant where the imaginary villagers could have
Sunday brunch after attending services at the new church.
Pleased, I rearranged the newest pieces and said to my husband,
"Do you know what this village really needs?"
"Yes I do," he answered crisply.
"It needs a board of trustees to enact zoning laws to contain
expansion."
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Todays Thought: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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