Summerld sez; they need snow....
We're supposed to get 6+....send trucks!
☺
Sunrise this morning....
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Global warming ptotest......
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He's got his tennyboots on, and is ready....
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Thats what you get for running around all night!
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Yeah....right....
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You don't play fair!!
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Now he thought that was funny.......
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He didn't find it funny....
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Anybody got a umbrella??
☺
Okay...Okay.I give up....you got me......
☺
♥♥♥
~~ An old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these
days."
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to
return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very
depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem?
Didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc,
but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the
past 2 years!"
☺
~~ Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer.
We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we decided
to call the customer support phone number we found in the
manual.
I picked up the phone and called the number.
A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him.
He began rattling off computer jargon.
This confused us even more.
"Sir," I said politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I
were a small child?"
"Okay," the computer support guy said,
"Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"
☺
~~ A drunken man gets on the bus late one night,
staggers up the aisle,
and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you.
You're
going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts,
"Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
☺
~~ "A man in Sicily had himself arrested so he wouldn't have to
spend the holidays with his relatives.
How many guys are going, 'Why didn't we think of that?'"
☺
~~ While I was visiting a friend, his university-age daughter
hurried into the room.
She enthusiastically explained her plans for the afternoon and
ended with a request for some pocket money.
With an exaggerated sigh and roll of his eyes,
my friend reached for his wallet.
"Maybe you'd like a money tree out in the backyard," he grumbled, winking at me.
Kissing him on the cheek, and with a grin of her own, she replied:
"Oh, no, Daddy. We'd never replace you!"
☺
~~ Riding on a bus, a commuter was reading a newspaper
article about life-expectancy statistics.
Turning to the man beside her, she asked,
"Do you know that every time I breathe, someone dies?"
"That's interesting," he answered.
"Have you ever tried mouthwash?"
☺
~~ Returning home from the class field trip, Larry said,
"Mom, I got in trouble at the zoo for feeding the ostrich."
"Why did that get you in trouble?"
"Because," replied Larry, "I fed it to the tigers."
☺
~~ The goaltender threw a party after his team won the
championship, and as a special honor asked the coach to
say grace.
Finishing up the short prayer, the team's guiding light said,"
...we thank you, Lord, in the name of the Father, Son, and
goalie host."
☺
~~ Q: A general was injured in the war.
How was he removed from the battlefield?
A: By his privates.
☺
~~ Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the
entire ceremony.
When it was over, she asked her mother,
"Why did the lady change her mind?"
Her mother asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with another one."
☺
☺
Todays Thought: Life is not fair. It's not fair to everyone, therefore, it's fair.
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)♥(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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