Good morning friends and readers....
Having a great day?......
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A pretty chilly sunrise....
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Give the rabbit a bath.??
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Looks like she's scared to me......
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Looks like shes greedy.....
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Mess up here and you get the bite....
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So wrong for many things......
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Parking for aliens.....
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Watch out!! mad seal behind you !!
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What can you say......
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Wee, If I can get my car to back up,
I'll leave....
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♥♥♥
~~ To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch
to lower-fat foods; including skim milk.
When she said her family would only drink whole milk,
I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it
with skim milk.
This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked,
one morning, whether the milk was okay.
"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found
out........ "Why do you ask?"
"Because according to the container," the daughter explained,
"this milk expired two years ago."
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~~ "Billy, did you take my car out last night?"
"I went for a spin with a couple of the guys."
"Well, tell them I found two of their lipsticks!"
.
~~ A man and his wife were vacationing on their yacht off the
coast of Australia.
After they had sailed out to sea a few miles, he asked her:
Do you want to go swimming?"
"No, I can't, I have my period."
"Damn!" he moaned.
"You always take the fun out of shark fishing."
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~~ Experts agree that the best type of computer for your
individual needs is the one that comes on the market about two
days after you actually purchase some other computer.
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~~ Men are obsessed with money,
women are obsessed with weight.
The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not
know which talk is the more boring.
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~~ Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all
over town.
When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address,
he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."
The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am,
I'll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."
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~~ In honor of British humorist P. G. Wodehouse's 128th birthday,
a few choice quips from his books:
"He looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had
forgotten to say 'when.' "
"Golf, like measles, should be caught young."
"She had a penetrating sort of laugh.
Rather like a train going into a tunnel."
"You look white and shaken, like a dry martini."
.
~~ As a coach load of tourists on a visit to England drove
through Wiltshire, the guide was busily pointing out places of
interest.
When they approached Stonehenge, the guide announced:
"This is Stonehenge, a megalithic monument dating from about
2,800 BC.
It consisted originally of thirty upright stones, their tops linked by
lintel stones to form a continuous circle about a hundred feet
across.
The uprights were built from local sandstone, and each stone
weighs around twenty-six tons."
At the back of the coach one tourist turned to his wife and said:
"Pretty impressive, huh?"
"Yes" she agreed.
"But wouldn't you think they'd have built it further back from
the main road?"
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~~ After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced
amicably.
I wanted to date again, but had no idea of how to start,
so I decided to look in the personals column of the local
newspaper.
After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed
possible in terms of age and interests, but I put off calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine
from my ex-wife:
"I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw
the ads you circled in the paper.
Don't call the one in the second column..... It's me."
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~~ Q: Who’s the patron saint of e-mail?
A: St. Francis of a CC.
.
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Todays Thought: The superior man seeks what is right;
the inferior one, what is profitable. - Confucius -
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