Got lots of e-mails, so I know I was missed....
.
Oh, My......Run...Bubba...
.
Cuddling??...
.
Your turn....bend brown....
.
Now...this is a high dive....I'm glad it's not me.....
.
Run....run....
.
Words to live by.....
.
I'm not going to say anything.....
.
OMG.....yes... hurry...Eye bleach time...
.
You have heard of Peking duck...these are greene county Ducks...
.
True words....
.
~~~~
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Time to get my tan......
.
♥♥♥
~~ How did the cow feel when it struck out every time it came to bat?
Like a udder failure..
~~ BOXER (in his corner): Did I do him any damage?
TRAINER: No, but keep on swinging,
The draft may give him a cold.
.
~~ Since my purchases came to $19.06, I handed the cashier
a twenty.
"Do you have six cents?" she asked.
"Sorry," I said after fishing around my pockets, "I have no cents."
"Finally," she muttered, "a man who can admit it."
.
~~ Bobbie said; After giving birth, I quit my job.
The exit questionnaire asked.
"What steps would have prevented you from leaving?"
My answer: "Birth Control."
.
~~ QUESTION: What do you instantly know about a well-dressed
man?
ANSWER: His wife is good at picking out clothes.
.
~~ There was an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman....
One day they came across a ladder and climbed up it...
as one does...
At the top of the ladder there was a genie and she said:
"As you go down this slide, shout out whatever you want to land
in..."
So the Englishman shouted "Beeeeeeer"
The Scotsman shouts "Whisssskey"
And the poor old Irishman shouted"weeeeeeeee!"
.
~~ When I went to Starbucks for coffee they lied.
It wasn't Starbucks, it was four bucks!
.
~~ A felon on trial is concerned about his chances.
His lawyer tells him, "Be calm.
I'm a terrific lawyer.
I'll prove to the jury that you were in Hong Kong when the crime
was committed.
I'll put on two doctors who'll prove that you were temporarily
insane.
I'll pay off two of their witnesses.
I have two school buddies on the jury, and my wife's uncle is the
judge........ Meanwhile, try to escape!"
.
~~ Q: Why don't people like to eat next to basketball players?
A: Because they dribble too much!
Q: What does a cannibal has in his freezer?
A: a pound of ground chuck.
.
~~ Finally, a friend's husband has decided that, at the ripe old
age of 48, he needs to get into shape.
They went to the gym where a trainer asked him if he could do
the splits.
'Of course I can't', he answered.
'How flexible are you?' she asked.
To which he replied 'Well, I can't do Tuesdays.'
.
.
Todays Thought: Wealth is not having possessions; it is having few wants.
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