and I made it passed the weekend........
And body want to buy leaves?? We got plenty of them....
.
We could all go visit the Whales......This would be cool....
.
Free Hi-fives....WOW....just what we need......
.
YEP..You feed them, and they get real friendly.....
.
To be honest...I have no idea whats going on.....
.
Help...help.....
.
Must be a "Ditto-head"......
.
Yep....Look alikes......
.
Time for me to get outta here.....
.
♥♥♥
~~ An expert started his survey of the company by asking the
president, "How many people work in this company?"
The president said, "About half of them"
.
~~ There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious
law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.
Both graduated magna cum laude from law school.
Both come from good families.
Both are equally attractive and well spoken.
It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each
candidate aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?
Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses Paul.
Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview.
"I don't understand why I was rejected.
When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said
that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my
life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by
my clients..... What in the world did you tell him?"
"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Paul replies.
"Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in
either of them!"
.
~~ It was shortly before the election.
Reporters seemed to be having trouble getting one candidate
to give straight answers to questions.
Finally they cornered him and demanded a straight response
to any question, not necessarily even a political question.
One reporter asked, "What is your favorite color?
You can give us a straight answer to that, can't you?"
The candidate said, "Certainly. My favorite color is plaid!"
.
~~ What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A nun only serves one God.
.
~~ Pete knew the American dollar was low, but he didn't know
just how low until he was in Rome, Italy and threw three coins
in the fountain, and was arrested...for littering.
.
~~ A neighbor who had gone "on line" with the Internet asked
my grandmother if she had found her way to the information
highway yet.
Grandmom, who was just learning this new technology,
replied, "I'm still looking for the on-ramp, dear."
.
~~ A chemistry teacher was giving a lesson about various acids.
She held a gold ring over a glass of acid and asked,
"Will the acid dissolve the ring?"
"No way," said a student.
The teacher asked why and the student answered,
"Because if it would, you'd be crazy to do it!"
.
~~ My 10-year-old granddaughter says her prayers every night
and instead of Amen she says: "Hit ENTER"
.
~~ A professor stood before his class of senior organic biology
students, about to hand out the final exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester.
I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are
off to medical school after summer.
So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might
have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who
would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for
the course."
There was much rejoicing in the class as many students took
the professor up on his offer.
As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the
handful of remaining students and asked.
"Anyone else? This is your last chance."
One final student rose up and opted out of the final.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those
still remaining.
"I'm glad to see you believe in yourselves," he said.
"You all get "A's."
.
~~ Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Micro-waves.
.
~~ Christopher, my husband, had just logged a month of
12-hour days, seven days a week on a large construction project.
Our three-year- old daughter, feeling somewhat abandoned by
her daddy, was less than pleased when she found him in the
bathroom one Sunday morning, preparing for work yet again.
“Where you going, Daddy?” she asked mournfully.
“Oh, gotta go to work,” he replied. Trying to explain why,
he added, “Gotta bring home the bacon.”
Melissa spun around and sped down the hallway,
then quickly came pattering back shouting,
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” and flourishing a pound of bacon.
.
~~ Nancy's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant with her first
baby.
She allowed him to place his hand on her belly and feel the baby
kick.
His little face scrunched and said, "How does the baby get out
of there?"
She wanted to keep it simple so she said, "The doctor will help."
His eyes widened in amazement as he exclaimed,
"You've got a DOCTOR in there, too?!"
.
.
Todays thought: When love alone acts as your compass,
your life is always right on course.
No comments:
Post a Comment