Don't forget to set the clocks back Sunday.....
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Pete sent me this pic, saz: this is Patience & Wisdom!
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Okay...Pete, what is this??...
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This guy is waiting for the others to leave....then........
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Don't ya just hate that??.......
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Recycling at its best.......
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What can I say....Petey?? You ought to see "Pete M." when he goes
masquerading......not good, I'll tell ya....
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I's tired......
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Didn't believe the signs??....
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Pumpkin carving time......this is cool......
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♥♥♥
~~ I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani
neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony
shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
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~~ I have a friend who's a second-story man;
no one ever believes his first story.
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~~ Q: What is the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles--because there's a mile between the first and last letter.
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~~ One weekend, my friend, who was a nurse, was looking
after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide
and hit his head.
Worried that he might have a concussion,
she checked him all night.
Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?"
Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered
the room.
When she went in at 5:00 A.M., she saw something white on
his face.
Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to
his forehead.
It read: "My name is Daniel."
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~~ Two friends and I ordered sandwiches in a local eatery.
I wanted hot sauce, Jim wanted medium and Bob, mild.
When I asked for all three, the ornery waitress pointed to the
squeeze bottle sitting in the middle of the table.
"We need three," I insisted. "Which one is this?"
"All of them," she replied. "You want hot, put more on."
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~~ I just got a GPS for my car, and my first trip with it was to a
drugstore.
Since the manual said not to leave it in the car unattended,
I brought it with me into the store.
While there, the GPS came alive, and a voice stated,
"Lost satellite contact."
I wasn't embarrassed until a woman turned to me and said,
"Your ankle bracelet monitor is talking to you."
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~~ Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Tony: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o’clock?
Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.
Tony: What’s the next time after that?
Staff: We have one at 10:22.
Tony: We’ll take that one. It will be a bit warmer.
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~~ I took a real estate client to a "handyman special."
The place was great, and we couldn't understand why it was so
cheap, until we turned on the water main and water gushed from
the ceiling.
Dripping wet, my client put a positive spin on the showing:
"Nice house," he said...... "It's even self-cleaning."
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~~ My sister-in-law works as a waitress at an Atlanta restaurant.
One day, a large family came in to eat.
In accordance with the restaurant's policy of serving large parties,
the tip was automatically added to the bill.
After she presented the bill to the father, she heard him bellow,
"Gratuity?... Who ordered the gratuity?
I told you kids that we weren't going to order any dessert!"
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~~ The neighbor of a young man was having trouble with her
washing machine and asked him to come over and take a look
at it.
"I'm not very good at fixing these things," he admitted.
"The last time I tried your husband had to buy a new one."
"I know," she replied, smiling.
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~~ A Catholic priest, a Lutheran minister and an Evangelical
preacher are arguing about religion one day when the phone rings.
The priest gets up to answer it.
After listening for few moments, he says, “Yes, I will pass on
the news,” and hangs up.
Turning to the others, he says, “I have good news and bad news.”
“Really? Do tell,” the minister says.
“My friends,” the priest announces, “that was the Lord Jesus
on the phone, and he was calling to say he’s back.”
“Glory be!” shouts the preacher.
“What could possibly be bad news now?”
Well,” the priest says,..... “He was calling from Salt Lake City.”
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Todays Thought: Hang around doggies and kids, they know how to play.
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