We're going to have showers all week end......
.
This is a cutie..........
.
Play it, again Sam...... A Jazz squirrel ???
.
He's saying....I hear ya...I hear ya.......
.
From her looks...I don't think she likes this at all....
.
.
One way to customize your truck....
.
Neat....swine flu mask..........
.
I think you "Broke" it..........
.
Well it's time for me to leave....(see the sign in the background)
.
♥♥♥
~~ Tired of finding that other people are helping themselves to
your good liquor at BYOB parties?
Take along a candle, which you insert and light after you've
opened the bottle.
No one ever expects to find anything drinkable in a bottle which
has a candle stuck in its neck!
.
~~ Teacher: History is a very interesting subject.
It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
.
~~ Quote:"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or
PH.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B." (Fats Domino)
.
~~ King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon was astonished that the
hungry lions had not eaten Daniel.
He summoned Daniel and promised him that if he would reveal
his secret, the king would give him his freedom.
"It was easy, your excellency," Daniel said.
"I went around and whispered in each lion's ear...
'After dinner, there will be speeches.'"
.
~~ SUBURBIA:
Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
.
~~ Residents in a dementia unit are usually there because they
"exit- seek" and are not safe to live on their own.
Once they move in, they are very creative in the ways they try
to get out.
One particularly creative lady has a granddaughter who is a
policewoman.
This granddaughter came to visit in full uniform.
The resident leaned over and whispered to her,
"Can't you just pretend to arrest me and get me out of here?"
.
~~ When my daughter, Ree, was five, I gave her a scratch card.
Excitedly, she started scratching the silver panel with a coin.
When she was done, she looked at the card.
She sighed, continued scratching, then looked at the card again.
"Can you help me?" she asked.
I looked at the card, "Sorry dear," I said, "You didn't win."
"But Dad," Ree said,...... "it says, "Try again!"
.
~~ Children are like mosquitoes...
the minute they stop making noise, they're into something.
.
~~ A survey taken a few years ago polled 10,000 U.S. nurses
and asked if they'd willingly choose to be patients in their own
hospitals.
Thirty-eight percent said, "No way."
.
~~ Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?
He couldn't face defeet!!
.
~~ "Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with.
It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able
to overcome." --Winston Churchill.
.
~~ On my birthday I got a really funny card from a friend.
It joked about how our bodies might be getting older,
but our minds were still "tarp as shacks."
I wanted to thank the friend who sent the card, but I couldn't.
She forgot to sign it.
.
.
Todays Thought: Although the tongue weighs very little,
few people are able to hold it.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment