Good Morning....Friends.....Having a good weekend...?
The weather here is great..........
.
Drove to the top of the mountain yesterday.....no color yet....
.
Bobby worked on the mower the other day........
.
Photos of NFL fans...... weird lookin.....
.
I don't think I would like to be there.....
.
Nore here......thats scary.......
.
This is ART?......Wow....what can I say?....
.
The Super Scooby, Britain's largest burger with 2,645 calories.
It is sold by the Jolly Fryer takeaway in Bristol and they are
offering a free can of Diet Coke to anyone who can finish it
in one go...
.
A happy spider.........
.
Yep.....get after them bad guys........Bubba!....
.
♥♥♥
~~ Q: What do you call someone in the White House who
is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?
A: A tourist.
.
~~ Ah yes, summer's out and autumn's in.
From swimming pools to football pools...
.
~~ To commemorate his first visit to our library,
I gave a six-year- old boy a bookmark.
More familiar with electronic gadgets than old-school tools,
he had no clue how it worked.
So I demonstrated by placing it between two pages,
then closing the book.
"When you start reading again, voilà!"
I said, opening the book to my bookmarked page.
"Wow!" he said. "That’s cool!"
.
~~ While working on a medical/surgical floor, I noticed one
of my male patients had received a very large basket of fruit.
I walked into the room saying. "Wow, that is the biggest thing
I've ever seen!"
My patient said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was uncovered."
I had to laugh out loud.
.
~~ Just before a new graduate nurse lifted a patient's gown
to give an insulin injection, she warned the older gentleman,
"There'll be a little pric.
"The eighty-nine-year-old man, with a twinkle in his eye,
returned, "Oh, so you're a psychic, as well as a nurse!"
.
~~ In her memoirs, Barbara Bush described one of those most
embarrassing moments that inevitably occur,
even on the most carefully advanced of foreign trips.
Along with her husband, then the Vice President, Mrs. Bush
was lunching with Emperor Hirohito at Tokyo's Imperial Palace.
Sitting next to the Emperor, Mrs. Bush found the conversation
an uphill task.
To all her efforts at verbal engagement, the Emperor would
smile and say "Yes" or "No," with an occasional "Thank You"
tossed in for good measure.
Looking around her elegant surroundings, she complimented
Hirohito on his official residence.
"Thank you," he said.
"Is it new?" pressed Mrs. Bush.
"Yes."
"Was the old palace just so old that it was falling down?"
asked Mrs. Bush.
In his most charming, yet regal, matter, Hirohito replied,
"No, I'm afraid that you bombed it."
.
~~ The judge was firm.
"I sentence you to eighteen months for breaking into a house
during the night."
The defendant said, "Your Honor, the last time I was here,
you put me away for eighteen months for breaking in during
the daytime.
If I can't do it at night or in the daytime,
when am I supposed to make a living?"
.
~~ A pediatric nurse had the difficult assignment of giving
immunization shots to children.
One day she entered the examining room to give four-year-old
Lizzie her shot. "No! No! No!" Lizzie screamed.
"Lizzie," her mother scolded, "that's not polite behavior."
At that, the girl yelled even louder,
"No, thank you! No, thank you!"
.
~~ Autumn is a great time of the year.
Soon those ugly patches of dead grass in your lawn will
be covered up...with ugly patches of dead leaves.
.
~~ TEACHER: If you father earns $1,000 a week and gives
your mother half...what would she have?
MICHAEL: A heart attack.
.
~~ TEACHER: What's big and yellow and comes in the
morning to brighten a mother's day?
BRENDA: The school bus.
.
~~ During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City,
I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach.
I called room service and ordered some soda crackers.
When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious.
I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel,
but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary,"
the voice at the other end coolly explained.
"I believe you are complaining about your room number."
.
.
Todays Thoughts: When you don't know where you're going...
Every road will take you there.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment