Good Morning.....friends, well got a lot done yesterday.......
Supposed to rain today...so will rest and lay about.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
♥♥♥
~~ Three guys sitting in a bar around a log fire with their dogs
and get talkin' about them.
First one says "My dog is called woodworker.. go woodworker."
The dog grabs a log from fire and with his teeth and paws fashions
a beautiful figurine.
Next one says "My dog is called stoneworker.. go stoneworker"
The dog drags a rock from the fire front and a beautiful carving
emerges.
Third one says "My dog is called iron worker" he puts the fire tongs
into the fire and gets them red hot.
"Now," he says "I'll just touch him on the teste's and you watch him
make a bolt for the door."
.
~~ There are three races, men, women, and children,
and they speak three different languages.
.
~~ Factories are inherently dangerous places,
as this sign posted at a manufacturing plant in Boulder, Colorado,
proves: 'Warning to young ladies:
If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery.
If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.'
.
~~ Money may buy a bed, books, food, and finery,
yet not sleep, brains, appetite, or natural beauty.
.
~~ An angry mother took her 8-year-old to the doctor's office.
"Is a boy of 8 able to perform an appendix operation?" she asked.
"Of course not," the doctor replied.
The mother turned to the little boy.
"See? Now put it back!"
.
~~ The minister of a well-attended, strong, and enthusiastic
church often showed himself ready and able to deal with any
situation that might come up.
One Sunday, just as the minister was reaching the climax of
his sermon, his own young son entered the church,
ran to the center aisle, started making loud beeps and
brrrmms like a car without a muffler, then zoomed right toward him.
The minister stopped his sermon, pointed severely at his son,
and commanded, "Jimmy, park the car immediately beside
your mother on that bench (pointing), turn off the ignition,
and hand her the keys."
The sermon continued undisturbed...
after a good laugh by the congregation.
.
~~ Mary, I know we had a fling, but who told you that you
could come to work when you pleased?"
"My lawyer!"
.
~~ A father told a friend how he had stopped his son from
being late to school.
"I bought him a car." he explained.
"Now he has to get there early to find a parking place."
.
~~ The newly rich couple were having trouble adjusting to
life in their mansion.
After the first dinner there, the husband asked his wife,
"Shall we have coffee in the library?"
"Too late," she replied. "The library closes at five."
.
~~ Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local
Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister
of the Covenant Church across the road.
They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into
the ground, that read:
"Da End is Near.
Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now
fore It Be Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window
and yelled, 'You religious nuts!'
From the curve they heard screeching tires, a big splash and
then silence....
Boudreaux turn to Thibodaux and axk,
'Do ya tink maybe da sign should jus say.....'Bridge Out?'
.
~~ One summer evening a young son came in while his parents
were setting the table for supper.
Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.
His mother said, "No, but I appreciate you asking."
The boy responded, "Well, I appreciate you saying no."
.
~~ Farmer Martin goes to the vet and says,
"My horse is constipated."
The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube,
stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there."
Farmer Martin comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
The vet says, "What happened?"
Farmer Martin says, "The horse blew first."
.
.
Todays Thought: I want to know how anyone knows,
there are no two snowflakes alike?
.
1 comment:
Your deck is looking great I love it.
You're very wise to start running lol
Rae x
Post a Comment