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Guess why he's not in the picture.....
Just hanging out.........
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That's a cute red bear....
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Pete, fixed it..............
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Putting out the fires...........Please be careful........
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Fluorescent pink katydids photographed in upstate New York and Michigan..
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A great picture of the "Northern Lights"
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A perturbed Sheena the leopard looks on as a cheeky mouse nibbles her food at the Santago Rare Leopard Project in Hertfordshire.
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Great pics of undersea volcanic eruptions near Tonga in the South Pacific..
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♥♥♥
~~~ Thomas Jefferson was the first president to have a barbeque at the White House.
Jefferson served Virginia ham to James Madison, Aaron Burr, and Larry King.
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~~~ Pete visited the Natural History museum.
While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."
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~~~ Phil checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.
Five minutes later he calls the desk and says, "You've given me a room with no exit.
How do I leave?"
The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd.
Have you looked for the door?"
Phil says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom.
There's a second door that goes into the closet.
And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."
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~~~ To make ends meet, I wait tables at a popular restaurant on weekends.
After ordering the lunch special, one couple requested extra croutons on their salads, so I complied.
But returning to the table to refill their coffee cups, I noticed they had set all the croutons aside. Thinking I had misunderstood their request, I apologized for giving them so many.
"There's been no mistake, we did ask for extra," the man replied.
"They're a favourite of our goats."
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~~~ Mom, are the Andersons very poor people?
I don't think so, Jimmy.... Why do you ask?
Because they made such a fuss when little Eddie swallowed a coin.
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~~~ Two rednecks are walking down the street toward each other.
One is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says, "Hey, Jim Bob, whatcha got in the bag?"
"Just some chickens."
"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"
"Heck, I'll give you both of them!"
"Okay then...five?"
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~~~ At a gas station, my husband, Jason watched an older lady fill up her car.
As he was wondering whether or not someone her age should still be driving, she pulled up to him, rolled down the window and said, "Excuse me, sir..."
My husband walked over: "How can I help you?!"
"What year is it?" she asked.
Feeling sorry for her, he replied, kindly, "It's 2007, ma'am."
The lady looked at him strangely and said, "No, your car..... What year is your car?"
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~~~ I usually suppress my anger for the benefit of my health, especially if the other party is bigger.
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~~~ "Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat.Sometimes it's filled with wisdom..... Sometimes it's filled with feet."
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~~~ When a woman came through my cashier's line at Wal-Mart her purchase came to twenty dollars.
"That's what I had in my hand.
You must be psychic." she joked.
"I am," I teased..... "I knew exactly how much you wanted to spend."
The next customer stepped up and, looking at me with a big grin, pulled out a dollar.
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~~~ You know when you're getting old," Pete said, "when you tell your best friend you're having an affair and they ask, "Is it catered?"
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~~~ Running for re-election to the Senate, John McClellan of Arkansas showed up at a county fair to debate his opponent.
As the challenger began his speech, he paused to pour himself a glass of water from a pitcher. But when a newspaper photographer snapped his picture, the candidate missed the glass and poured the water over the heads of people standing in front of the stage.
When McClellan took the microphone, he asked the crowd a simple question: "Do you want a senator who's too dumb to pour water into a glass?"........
He was re-elected.
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Todays Thought: "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." - Mark Twain 
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