Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....Every one.....Well we got another long Holiday
weekend coming up... Every one be safe...I need all the readers I
can get.....
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Oh....Yah.......Welcome to the club....Sadie takes mine......
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He's got his eyes on you.......looking foe something sweet. watch out "Witchy."

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Wanna hire a waiter??

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Billy was the MJ of TV ads......

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I'm glad you like it......

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We know what he loves......Ha-Ha.......

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Not me....I'm a down to earth guy......and did climb steel....long ago...

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Well gotta get going....got work to do......

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♥♥♥

~~~ 'If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.' -Mark Twain

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~~~ Putting down my riveting book on the Lincoln assassination, I turned to my wife and explained how after shooting the president, John Wilkes Booth leaped onto the Ford's Theatre stage, raised his knife, and shouted the Virginia state motto.
My wife crinkled her eyebrows and asked, "Virginia is for lovers?"

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~~~ Our office building's only elevator was acting up.
When I rode it to the lobby on my way to lunch, the door refused to open.
Trying not to panic I hit the emergency button which triggers an automatic call to the repair service.
Through the speaker in the elevator, I heard the call going through and then a recorded announcement:
"The area code of the number you dialed has been changed.
The new area code is 450...... Please hang up and dial again."

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~~~ A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the butt with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great.
What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."

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~~~ City-dweller friends called one Sunday afternoon hoping we, and our country house full of young children, would be interested in giving a home to a specialty-breed rabbit they'd found.
At the time of the call, we were hosting a yard sale for our church.
After polling the group, I was delighted to find among them a rabbit breeder who would welcome the foundling.
A few days later, he picked up the rabbit and took it to its new home.
Not long after, I met the gentleman at a restaurant, and he told me how well the young female rabbit was doing.
His wife joined the conversation at this point, and he quickly introduced her.
"This is my wife, Jane," and without a pause he completed his previous train of thought.
"I'm going to breed her in a couple of months."

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~~~ There was some mix-up with Suzzie's room.
The cruise ship clerk was trying to remedy the situation.
He asked, "Would you like an inside cabin or an outside cabin?"
She replied, "Well, it looks like it might rain today.I'd better get an inside cabin."

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~~~ Yogi Berra was once complimented on his large collection of sweaters.
"The only color I don't have," Berra proudly declared, "is navy brown."

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~~~ A doctor had just delivered twin boys.
The head nurse brought them out for their father to see.
He could hardly believe his good fortune.
The twin boys were each enclosed in a blue blanket and cap.
He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.
As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies....... You aren't sterile!"
With out missing a beat, he said proudly......"You're telling ME I'm not sterile!"

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~~~ Some Quickies..... I know a lingerie buyer who gave his wife the slip.
*** Bank ad: Come in and see us if you are loan-ly.
*** Rich foods are like destiny..... They, too, shape our ends.
*** On the tombstone of a farmer whose dying wish was to be buried in his vegetable garden:
"Rest in Peas"
*** When I was in school, I read mystery books - algebra, geometry...

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~~~ I know canned music makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

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~~~ An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along.
"What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh ,I don't know..... The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one go.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out.
"Yuck! It's nasty poison!" she sputtered.
"I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well there you go," cried the husband. "
And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

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~~~ Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard.
The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum.
The wife won out, and the construction bill climber higher and higher.
I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface.
I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.
"You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied.
"I just threw my wife's credit cards in there."
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Todays Thought: A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
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