Their having some really hot weather......
.
Some of my flowers........
Bee's are busy......
And this is a cutie.......
And this is a cutie........
Water spout.......Pretty but dangerous.......
He's keeping cool......
Water spout.......Pretty but dangerous........
He's keeping cool.......
Look out for for the claws.......
Look out for for the claws........
I have nothing to say....
I have nothing to say.....
Mister Ugley.......(I got him beat)
.
~~~ While I was in college a friend rented a house just off campus.
The owner was a bit of an a**hole and refused to do most repairs so Pete did them himself. After the place was fixed up a little the owner contacted Pete and told him that he had decided to sell the place and Pete had 30 days to get out.
Pete asked if he could paint the place (he was a part-time house painter as well as a student) in lieu of the last months rent.
The owner agreed so Pete and a couple of his brothers did a great job.
Except, they painted the entire house black.
Everything, including inside the closets, all of the wall switches and outlet cover plates, the windowframes, the entire basement, even the fireplace. No, he didn't get his security deposit back.
I don't understand why....
.
.
~~~ Visiting a restaurant, Bobbie and I decided to order steak.
As the waitress put our plates on the table we noticed the strange way she was holding them.
"You've got your thumbs on our steaks!" complained Bobbie.
"Well, you don't want me to drop them again, do you?" the waitress replied.
.
~~~ When my oldest son was four, I decided to give him a little culture and take him and his three year old sister to the library for the first time.
This was a last minute thought, before going grocery shopping, and we didn't get into town often. As we were nearing the library, I sprung this thought, and asked them "How about we go into the library?"
After a few second I heard my little son sobbing in the back seat.
"What's the matter Joe?" I asked curiously.
"I promise mama I wont do it again" he sobbed.
"Do what?".....I was really curious now.
"Please, please don't take me there. I won't tell no more lies", he was now wailing at me.
I chuckled just a little to myself and then explained that libraries were NOT a place people took LIARS.
.
~~~ A political candidate stood on a platform and announced to the assembled crowd that he was going to fight radicalism, socialism, communism, and anarchism.
One old man snorted and said, "I'll vote for you when you can do something about rheumatism."
.
~~~ It was four in the morning when Mr. Dartle's phone rang.
The voice at the other end was pleasant and sweet.
"I'm Mrs. Weber, and I would like to tell you that the refrigerator I bought in your store works like a charm.
"Mr. Dartle said, "Thank you.
But why call me about it at four in the morning?"
Mrs. Weber said, "Because they just delivered it!"
.
~~~ During the Depression my aunt Angelina was a young bride.
She was fond of telling her family about all the luxuries that we take for granted and how she had to do without, often telling us that on her bridal bed she had to use sugar bags for bedsheets. When her granddaughter, Marie, was getting married, Angelina offered to buy her a set of designer bedsheets. "Grandma," Marie replied. "Just promise me they won't say "Sweet, refined and granulated."
.
~~~ During one of the English classes, the teacher decided to give us as homework the use of common phrases and clichés.
We had to demonstrate their meanings by using them in sentences.
Now, this is a good exercise for ten year olds, but we were to graduate the following semester. So I decided to have some fun.
I wrote down some really funny sentences.
The next day, we had to read out loud what we had written.
One of the phrases was “ to call a spade a spade” and my homework read: “ Farmer Brown always called a spade a spade until one day, he tripped over it.”
The whole class laughed, and we never had such assignments again.
.
~~~ A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost.
Being told that it would be fifty dollars, she was outraged.
"I only pay thirty for my own haircut," she said.
The groomer said, "That may be true, but then you don't bite!"
.
.
Todays Thought: Enjoy yourself.
These are the good old days you're going to miss in the future.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mister Ugley.......(I got him beat).
♥♥♥
~~~ Judging by the time they picked up their morning newspaper, my newly retired neighbours were getting up later and later.
One morning I was outside when my neighbour slipped out to pick up his paper.
"Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins, you know," I teased him.
He replied, "So is envy."
One morning I was outside when my neighbour slipped out to pick up his paper.
"Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins, you know," I teased him.
He replied, "So is envy."
.
~~~ While I was in college a friend rented a house just off campus.
The owner was a bit of an a**hole and refused to do most repairs so Pete did them himself. After the place was fixed up a little the owner contacted Pete and told him that he had decided to sell the place and Pete had 30 days to get out.
Pete asked if he could paint the place (he was a part-time house painter as well as a student) in lieu of the last months rent.
The owner agreed so Pete and a couple of his brothers did a great job.
Except, they painted the entire house black.
Everything, including inside the closets, all of the wall switches and outlet cover plates, the windowframes, the entire basement, even the fireplace. No, he didn't get his security deposit back.
I don't understand why....
.
~~~ A brothel in Britain was raided in Yorkshire and was found to be full of illegal immigrants where the average age of the 'workers' was 73.
Police labeled it 'A den of antiquity'
Police labeled it 'A den of antiquity'
.
~~~ Visiting a restaurant, Bobbie and I decided to order steak.
As the waitress put our plates on the table we noticed the strange way she was holding them.
"You've got your thumbs on our steaks!" complained Bobbie.
"Well, you don't want me to drop them again, do you?" the waitress replied.
.
~~~ When my oldest son was four, I decided to give him a little culture and take him and his three year old sister to the library for the first time.
This was a last minute thought, before going grocery shopping, and we didn't get into town often. As we were nearing the library, I sprung this thought, and asked them "How about we go into the library?"
After a few second I heard my little son sobbing in the back seat.
"What's the matter Joe?" I asked curiously.
"I promise mama I wont do it again" he sobbed.
"Do what?".....I was really curious now.
"Please, please don't take me there. I won't tell no more lies", he was now wailing at me.
I chuckled just a little to myself and then explained that libraries were NOT a place people took LIARS.
.
~~~ A political candidate stood on a platform and announced to the assembled crowd that he was going to fight radicalism, socialism, communism, and anarchism.
One old man snorted and said, "I'll vote for you when you can do something about rheumatism."
.
~~~ It was four in the morning when Mr. Dartle's phone rang.
The voice at the other end was pleasant and sweet.
"I'm Mrs. Weber, and I would like to tell you that the refrigerator I bought in your store works like a charm.
"Mr. Dartle said, "Thank you.
But why call me about it at four in the morning?"
Mrs. Weber said, "Because they just delivered it!"
.
~~~ During the Depression my aunt Angelina was a young bride.
She was fond of telling her family about all the luxuries that we take for granted and how she had to do without, often telling us that on her bridal bed she had to use sugar bags for bedsheets. When her granddaughter, Marie, was getting married, Angelina offered to buy her a set of designer bedsheets. "Grandma," Marie replied. "Just promise me they won't say "Sweet, refined and granulated."
.
~~~ During one of the English classes, the teacher decided to give us as homework the use of common phrases and clichés.
We had to demonstrate their meanings by using them in sentences.
Now, this is a good exercise for ten year olds, but we were to graduate the following semester. So I decided to have some fun.
I wrote down some really funny sentences.
The next day, we had to read out loud what we had written.
One of the phrases was “ to call a spade a spade” and my homework read: “ Farmer Brown always called a spade a spade until one day, he tripped over it.”
The whole class laughed, and we never had such assignments again.
.
~~~ A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost.
Being told that it would be fifty dollars, she was outraged.
"I only pay thirty for my own haircut," she said.
The groomer said, "That may be true, but then you don't bite!"
.
.
Todays Thought: Enjoy yourself.
These are the good old days you're going to miss in the future.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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