.
pretty picture......
I have no idea...what this is?????.
Mean looking kid.......
Wanna play ball??
Wanna play ball??.
Or...like this guy, play in peanut butter?
Or...like this guy, play in peanut butter?.
Swimming with Lions?...not me.....not this "Super Chicken."
Got enough??
Swimming with Lions?...not me.....not this "Super Chicken.".
Got enough??.
My Bud......Eno....
~~~ After working for months to get in shape, my 42-year-old husband and I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
At the end of two gruelling days, we made it back to the canyon's rim.
To celebrate, we each bought an "I hiked the canyon" T-shirt.
About a month later, while my husband was wearing his shirt, a young man approached him. "Did you really hike the canyon?" he asked.
My husband beamed with pride and answered, "Sure did!"
" No kidding!" the fellow said........ "What year?"
.
~~~ Liz said....I was halfway through a meeting with a photocopy salesman, when he suddenly mentioned his wife and children, and how contented he was.
I was puzzled, but let him continue.
It was only when I glanced down that I understood his reason for imparting this personal information: The table leg against which I had been rubbing my itchy foot wasn't a table leg at all!
.
~~~ On tour with the Boston Celtics, coach Arnold Auerbach (1917- 2006) met three of his players, each with an attractive young woman on his arm, in the hotel lobby at five o'clock in the morning.
One of the players covered his embarrassment by introducing the young woman as his "cousin." Auerbach nodded politely.
The player, desperately trying to make the unlikely tale sound more convincing, continued, "We were just on our way to church."
Auerbach, relating this story on a later occasion, remarked, "I couldn't take that.
I fined him twenty-five dollars for insulting my intelligence."
.
~~~ Most of my boarding school students are more computer literate than I.
So I was surprised to find one sophomore writing a term paper on an electric typewriter.
In a reminiscent mood I said, "When I was in school my typewriter wasn't even electric."
She looked at me in shock and asked,.... "Do you mean it was battery- operated?"
.
~~~ When a son said that his ambition was to drive an army tank his father said 'I won't stand in your way'.
.
~~~ During the summer, my daughter Theresa's air conditioning broke down, and the company that installed it was closed for vacation.
She sweltered in the heat for two weeks.
One day while preparing dinner, the fridge door was open and Holly, her miniature shih tzu, saw her chance.
Just as Theresa was about to close the door, she saw Holly sitting inside the fridge between the lettuce and the eggs.
.
~~~ The Gallup poll conducted before the presidential election of 1948 wrongly predicted a win for Thomas E. Dewey.
Shortly after the announcement of Harry Truman's victory, George Gallup (1901- 1984) was stopped by a policeman for driving down a one-way street in the wrong direction.
On reading the name on Gallup's driving license, the policeman grinned broadly and exclaimed, "Wrong again!"
.
~~~ I work as a cashier at a grocery store that was celebrating its grand re-opening.
To draw customers, we were mailing out coupons for various free items, such as eggs, soda, chips, etc.
The coupon for the chips was very specific: it had to be a 13 1/4 bag of Lays Potato Chips.
One lady was a bit confused.
Upon handing me her bag of chips and the corresponding coupon, she said, "The coupon says thirteen and one fourth, but I guess this is close enough, right?"
I checked.
The net weight of the bag was given as 13.25 ounces.
I looked up, certain she was joking.....She wasn't.
.
~~~ I used to work in an art supply store.
We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?
"Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
.
.
Todays Thought: Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.....
.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()<(º¿º)>()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
My Bud......Eno.....
♥♥♥
~~~ After working for months to get in shape, my 42-year-old husband and I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
At the end of two gruelling days, we made it back to the canyon's rim.
To celebrate, we each bought an "I hiked the canyon" T-shirt.
About a month later, while my husband was wearing his shirt, a young man approached him. "Did you really hike the canyon?" he asked.
My husband beamed with pride and answered, "Sure did!"
" No kidding!" the fellow said........ "What year?"
.
~~~ Liz said....I was halfway through a meeting with a photocopy salesman, when he suddenly mentioned his wife and children, and how contented he was.
I was puzzled, but let him continue.
It was only when I glanced down that I understood his reason for imparting this personal information: The table leg against which I had been rubbing my itchy foot wasn't a table leg at all!
.
~~~ On tour with the Boston Celtics, coach Arnold Auerbach (1917- 2006) met three of his players, each with an attractive young woman on his arm, in the hotel lobby at five o'clock in the morning.
One of the players covered his embarrassment by introducing the young woman as his "cousin." Auerbach nodded politely.
The player, desperately trying to make the unlikely tale sound more convincing, continued, "We were just on our way to church."
Auerbach, relating this story on a later occasion, remarked, "I couldn't take that.
I fined him twenty-five dollars for insulting my intelligence."
.
~~~ Most of my boarding school students are more computer literate than I.
So I was surprised to find one sophomore writing a term paper on an electric typewriter.
In a reminiscent mood I said, "When I was in school my typewriter wasn't even electric."
She looked at me in shock and asked,.... "Do you mean it was battery- operated?"
.
~~~ When a son said that his ambition was to drive an army tank his father said 'I won't stand in your way'.
.
~~~ During the summer, my daughter Theresa's air conditioning broke down, and the company that installed it was closed for vacation.
She sweltered in the heat for two weeks.
One day while preparing dinner, the fridge door was open and Holly, her miniature shih tzu, saw her chance.
Just as Theresa was about to close the door, she saw Holly sitting inside the fridge between the lettuce and the eggs.
.
~~~ The Gallup poll conducted before the presidential election of 1948 wrongly predicted a win for Thomas E. Dewey.
Shortly after the announcement of Harry Truman's victory, George Gallup (1901- 1984) was stopped by a policeman for driving down a one-way street in the wrong direction.
On reading the name on Gallup's driving license, the policeman grinned broadly and exclaimed, "Wrong again!"
.
~~~ I work as a cashier at a grocery store that was celebrating its grand re-opening.
To draw customers, we were mailing out coupons for various free items, such as eggs, soda, chips, etc.
The coupon for the chips was very specific: it had to be a 13 1/4 bag of Lays Potato Chips.
One lady was a bit confused.
Upon handing me her bag of chips and the corresponding coupon, she said, "The coupon says thirteen and one fourth, but I guess this is close enough, right?"
I checked.
The net weight of the bag was given as 13.25 ounces.
I looked up, certain she was joking.....She wasn't.
.
~~~ I used to work in an art supply store.
We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?
"Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
.
.
Todays Thought: Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.....
.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()<(º¿º)>()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
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