Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....Kinda in a hurry this morning....
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A hummingbird sunrise..........
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A Florida sunset...

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They don't like the water.....
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Oh...what big ears you have.....

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Wow.......

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Not a good place to park......

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Been playing in the snow........

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~~~ 2 OLD LADIES IN CHURCH ...
One leans over to the other and says, "I think my butt is asleep."

The other replies, "Yeah, I could hear it snoring a few minutes ago."

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~~~ A wife to her husband, Darling, my mother is visiting us tomorrow, why don't you take her somewhere?
I always take her somewhere when she visits, but she always finds her way back

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~~~ BOSS: Why are you late?
MALE EMPLOYEE: I didn't look where I was going and I ran into a tree.
BOSS: That's a new one.

I never heard of sap running into a tree!

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~~~ This guy couldn`t decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so he called the airlines to get prices.

"Airfare to Denver is $300," said a cheery salesperson.

"And what about Salt Lake City?"

"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake--$99.00, but there is a stopover."

"Where?"....

"Denver."

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~~~ There's a new baby food on the market.

It's half orange juice and half garlic.

It not only makes the baby healthier, but also easier to find in the dark.

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~~~ For her surgery to fuse some vertebrae in her neck, my niece planned ahead.

She knew she would have to wear a brace with four steel rods screwed into her skull and attached to a rigid upper- body cast during her recovery, so she brought to the hospital several sweatshirts that were cut to fit over these appliances.

On her first trip out of her hospital room, she ventured to the cafeteria wearing a shirt bearing the message, "I'd lose my head it is wasn't screwed on"

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~~~ A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district.

The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving.

They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife.

"May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes.

"I'm the landlord," he sobbed

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~~~ While reading a newspaper, Gus came across an article about a beautiful actress marrying a football player who was not noted for his IQ.

"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "Why do the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."

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~~~ Although we were to be married in Ohio, I wanted a touch of my home state, Kansas, in the wedding.

I told a friend that we were going to toss wheat, not rice, after the ceremony.

My friend thought about it and said, "It's lucky you're not from Idaho!"

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Todays thought: Don't tear your hair out over a woman.

It will be harder to meet the next one if you're bald.