Happy Australia Day.......... for our Australian friends...
Enjoy your barbie....save me a snag......
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Up-up and away......It would be a cold trip today......
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Don't I look cute........
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I'm watching it, it an't going nowere.........
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He's watching.....Keep moving.........
Botten down the hatches.....looks like a good one coming up.....
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Stronge isn't he......I can smell him from here.......
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No date, Eno?
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♥♥♥
~~~ There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says, "we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer".
A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says, "we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though".
One of the blondes looks at the other and says; "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"
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~~~ Those aren't deep wrinkles on Mick Jagger's face.
The Rolling Stones front man say they're laugh lines.
But British jazz singer George Melly had his doubts.
"Surely," he once told Jagger, "nothing could be that funny."
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~~~ you have all heard about the plane that crashed in the Hudson river.
They blamed it on the ducks.
But the ducks said it wasn't their fault - they were honking.-Jay Leno
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~~~ My friend told me....When her husband was in the Air Force, they lived in a town where the milkmen wore blue uniforms and caps with visors.
One day, she took her son to the base to watch a parade.
There were tanks, jeeps, and lots of men in uniform.
Imagine her embarrassment when her son yelled, "Mom, look at all the milkmen!"
~~~ The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our three-day wilderness trip.
As I backed my own vanload of Scouts out of my garage, I noticed a pair of hiking boots on the back steps, so I stopped to retrieve them.
An hour later, we caught up with the first car, which was parked at a highway rest stop.
Seeing me pull up, my assis- tant Scout leader rolled down his window.
"Your wife just called on my cell phone," he said.
"She asked if you knew anything about the plumber's boots that were on your back steps."
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~~~ While having lunch in a restaurant one day, I was asked by a businessman at a neighboring table whether he would like to buy the place.
When I declined, the stranger made another request: "Can I have your name," he asked, "so that I can say we discussed business?"
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~~~ A little boy thanks his grandfather for the harmonica he gave him for Christmas.
"It's the bestest present I ever got!" says the little boy.
"It's already earned me $100."
"You must have learned to play it really well," says the grandfather.
"I haven't learned to play it at all," replies the boy.
"Mommy gives me five dollars not to play it during the day and Daddy gives me ten not to play it at night..."
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Todays thought: Guilt is a little prison that keeps you out of big ones.
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