I'll lay a big smooch on ya........
Whatta you lookin at? you neve seen good looking before?
"Hey, Vern....watch them bumps......
This is nice.....not!...♥♥♥
Pete and Pat had just given their teenage son family-car privileges.
On Saturday night he returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper
and came back into the house frowning.
At 11:30amTommy sleepily walked into the kitchen, and his father asked him,
" what time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad." he replied nervously.
Dead-panned, his father said, "Then I'll have to talk with the paperboy about
putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
~~~
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting.
Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the
smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
~~~
A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.
The dog is a brilliant piano player.
He plays all thestandards.
He’s sitting there, pounding out the tunes,when all of a sudden, a big dog
comes in and drags himout.
The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”
The manager says........................
“That’s his mother. She wants him to be a doctor.”
~~~
Ponder these....
Q: What is a shark's favorite game?
A: Swallow the leader.
Two's company; three is the result.
Why is it a man's world when there are more women than men in it?
The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing, and eating chocolate.
Be happy with what you have.
If you spend your life looking for greener pastures, you might find you're too old to climb the fence.
~~~
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
"Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain."Yes," replied the murderer.
"Will you hold my hand?"
Gus..........
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