Good Morning....

I can't hear you........

Yeah! right..........................

Noe this is serious, them shoes hurt.........

How many do ya want?

♥♥♥

For the holidays one year, rather than send gifts, my friend decided to enclose checks in her greeting cards.

Inside each card she wrote "Buy your own presents" and then sent them off.

A few weeks later, she discovered the checks she'd "Mailed" under a pile of books.

~~~

After successfully trying her case, Clarence Darrow was embraced by his lovely client, who thanked him expansively and desired to know, "How can I ever thank you?"

"My dear," replied the lawyer, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money, there has only been one answer to that question."

~~~

I heard the dog barking before he and his owner actually barreled into our vet practice.

Spotting a training video we sell, the owner wisely decided to buy one.

"How does this work?" she asked, handing me a check.

"Do I just have him watch this?"

~~~

I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke, please."

Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work.

Waitresses now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke.

We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I'd make life easier.

So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark, carbonated beverage."

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, "Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?"

~~~

After examining the paltry tips left by a church group, our waitress was not pleased.

Looking toward my table, she grumbled, "These people come in with the Ten Commandments and a ten-dollar bill, and they don't break any of them!"

~~~

One nice thing about my salary, no one will ever hold me for ransom.

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I just want to wish all the readers...."Merry Christmas"!

and a Happy Holiday.....