But we're up and running.....
Katten Pizza ??
Red neck, Hot tub......
Ma..Ma......I fall in..............................wha.............
Oh...No....♥♥♥
A certain car dealer, who was known to have taken advantage of several people in the community, informed a farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow.
The farmer attached this "price tag" to the cow:
BASIC COW.................................$ 499.95
Shipping and Handling.....................$ 35.75
Extra Stomach.............................$ 79.25
Two-tone exterior.........................$ 142.10
Produce storage compartment...............$ 126.50
Heavy-duty straw chopper..................$ 189.60
Four spigot/high-output drain system......$ 149.20
Automatic fly swatter.....................$ 88.50
Genuine cowhide upholstery................$ 179.90
Deluxe dual horns.........................$ 59.25
Automatic fertilizer attachment...........$ 339.40
4-by-4 traction drive assembly............$ 884.16
Pre-delivery wash and comb................$ 69.80
FARMER'S SUGGESTEDLIST PRICE................................$2, 843.36Additional dealer adjustments.............$ 300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (including options)......$3,143.36
~~~
A guy walks into a bar carrying a dog which has no legs.
He places the legless dog on the bar table, and the bartender says, "Hey, what happened to your dog?"
The guy says, "He was born that way".
The bartender then says, "What's his name?"
The guy answers, "I never named him"
.
The bartender then said, "What a shame - no legs, no name, why didn't you at least give the poor pooch a name?"
The bartender then said, "What a shame - no legs, no name, why didn't you at least give the poor pooch a name?"
The guy said, "Because he wouldn't come if you called him."
~~~
My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat.
One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone.
Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool.
Scott was master of the situation.
"Pardon me," he told his customer calmly. "I have a call on another line."
~~~
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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