Yesterdays sunrise....None today...It's raining....
Hey... We're some foxy lookin cats.................
I don't know bout them guys.....
Well...They sure scared us !!
I got it..I got it.....
Youse guys sure are funny.......
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All in favor of conserving gasoline, please raise your right foot....
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We’re learning more about John McCain — he has 13 cars. And he can’t remember where he parked any of them.
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The hunched-back man decides very reluctantly, that he should go see a doctor after a few too many people have started to comment on his back.
Doctor: I need for you to get undressed, sir. (Hunchback removes jacket and then stops)
Hunchback: I really don't like getting undressed, doctor.
Doctor: If you want me to examine your back you'll have to get undressed. (Hunchback removes his shirt but leaves his t-shirt on)
Hunchback: I don't like showing people my back.
They always laugh at me.
Doctor: Do you want me to examine your back or not? (Very reluctantly, the hunchback removes his t-shirt)
Doctor: Ah...just how long is it since you were in school?
Hunchback: Gosh, over 20 years, doctor. Why?
Doctor: Did you ever wonder all those years what happened to your backpack?
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For over 30 years Bill had worked in construction in New York City.
Those many years working around loud machinery had taken its toll on Bill's body and he began to fear that he was losing his hearing.
So Bill went to the doctor and told him the problem.
He explained to the doctor that things had gotten so bad that he couldn't even hear himself fart.
The doctor examined Bill and then gave him some pills.
Bill asked, "Will these help me to hear better?"
The doctor replied, "No. They will make you fart louder."
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A cop pulls over a man that seemed to be driving all over the road.
He was slurring all his words so the officer gave him a breath test.
Turns out the man was not drinking.
The cop asked him why he was slurring his words. The man said, "Well sir, I will tell you.
My parents were both drunks and I was home schooled.
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Two drunks are walking along.
One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night... look at the moon.
"The other drunk stops and look at his drunken friend, "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun."
They started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him.
"Sir, could you please help settle our argument?
Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining.
Is it the moon or the sun?"
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
We all live under the same sky, but we don't see the same horizon.
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