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I can balence a ball on my nose...................................................
I want my mommie.....................................................................
No..No...click on that one there.................................................
See how strong I am...and we're saving gas................................
I'm strong too....I'm like super man, I goes through doors......
I bite the tires...and they go down.............................................
I'll sit this one out.......thank you! ............................................
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The best advice they give the lady's in boot camp;
"To stay out of trouble, say 'Yes, sir' all day and 'No Sir' all night."
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While vacationing, a customer came into a deli for some polish sausage.
"How much would you like?"
Stefan asked.
Puzzled over the metric price, the man looked up and replied haltingly, "Um, a kilometre, please."
Stefan handed the end of the meat coil to him and said, "Take this outside and I'll tell you when to stop."
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At a dinner party, a sensible person usually will eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
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Why, in child-custody cases, are men with jobs regarded as good fathers whereas women with jobs are regarded as neglectful mothers?
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Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother's mother-in-law.
"Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece."
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My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet.
Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves site, and we told her it could answer any question she had.
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom.
Think of something to ask it."
As I sat with my fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought for a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
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