I'm late this morning.....went to breakfast this morning early...
Then did some shopping.
This way would take what little hair I got off.....
Wannta play a song ??
Now this is a banana boat...............................
My kinda coffee. I have drank coffee like that.~~~
One Sunday morning as The preacher administered Communion,
He laid his hand on an infant and said a blessing.
Her six-year-old brother, who had clearly been listening to his mother,
admonished him sternly,
“You shouldn’t touch the baby till you’ve washed your hands.”
~~~
The Los Angeles Times once published a Valentine's Day story on
several prominent couples, among them Arnold Schwarzenegger
and his lovely wife, Maria Shriver.
According to the story, on the very day the couple met,
Schwarzenegger told Maria's mother: "Your daughter has a great body."
Los Angeles Times media critic David Shaw -
thinking the comment 'a bit brazen, even for Schwarzenegger' -
later asked the actor whether he had actually said it.
"No," Schwarzenegger replied. "I said, 'Your daughter has a nice ass!'"
~~~
A couple of small-town Australians stop at a pub after work.
They're enjoying their pints when they notice a couple of
out-of- towners come into the bar.
Being a friendly fellow, one of the Aussies decides to go see
who these guys are.
He says "Excuse me guys. You aren't from around here,
are you?..... Where you from?"
"Saskatoon, Saskatchewan," comes the reply.
The Aussie turns around and heads back to his buddy at the table.
"So? Where are they from?"
"I don't know, they don't speak any English."
~~~
A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning
into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries
to pull her inside to slaughter her,
under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square
on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl,
and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank
him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker,
says: "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man
do in my whole life."
Why, it was nothing said the biker, really, the lion was behind bars.
I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.
I noticed a patch on your jacket said the journalist.
Yeah I ride with a Christian motorcycle club the biker replies.
Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist,
you know, and tomorrow papers will have this in first page.
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it
indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page:
Biker gang member assaults African immigrant and steals his lunch.
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