Wednesday, February 10, 2016


Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
His wife, Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That’s $20 million for memories from two people who for
eight years repeatedly testified under oath, that they
couldn’t remember anything.
Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train
went by looking at the track...
Business one-liners;
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick
up something from the floor while you get up.
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose.
It is a dog-eat-dog world out there and I'm wearing
Milk Bone underwear.
It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
It is better to be part of the idle rich class than be part
of the idle poor class.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she
won't believe you.
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it
for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor,
you've got to do something about my husband --
he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies.
'Lots of people have harmless delusions...... It will pass.''
''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists.
''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps
me awake.''
I bought her a new bag and belt last week.
You have to keep up the maintenance on that old vacuum.
[ during job interview ]
"Why do you think you would make a good asset to
our team?"
"I give up, why?"
Why did the dude only smell good on the right side?
He didn't know where to buy Left Guard!
I once went out with a girl who had fiery red hair and a pale,
thin body................ I met her on