Monday, July 6, 2015

"Good Morning Vera".



Taco Bell says that the demand for the Doritos
Loco Taco is so great that one is ordered every 
12 seconds, and it has created 15,000 jobs.
This just confirms that a taco is better at fixing the economy
then our government is......

Captured escapee 
David Sweat told investigators that he split 
up with fellow escapee Richard Matt because 
Matt kept getting drunk. 
But, in Matt’s defense, he was on vacation. 

There's an email going round offering processed 
pork, gelatin and salt in a can. 
If you get this email don't open it, it's spam! 

The difference between the U.S. Supreme 
Court and the Ku Klux Klan is that the 
members of the Supreme Court dress in black 
robes and scare white people.

The New York times caused an uproar on 
Wednesday when it suggested that people 
use peas in their guacamole. 
Although, if you’re rude to your waiter in a 
Mexican restaurant, he’ll do that himself. 

As the officer approached my car I took a big 
pull of helium from the balloon and started 

Prosecutor: Do you see the defendant in court
 today? Witness: Yes, I do. 
Prosecutor: How is he dressed? 
Witness: He looks pretty sharp.

Prosecutor (addressing the court): The People 
have evidence that the life of the witness is in 
jeopardy, and it is reasonable to apprehend he 
will not be able to attend the trial if he is not alive
at that time.

I tried cooking last night. 
The recipe called for a quarter cup of thyme. 
That's fifteen minutes, right? 

When a cashier asks me if I found everything I 
was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply 
into their eyes and say, "I have now."

You know how to tell if your husband is having 
a online affair? 
He's able to type 100 words per minute with one