Thursday, February 5, 2015


Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer 
and a herd of buffalo? 
 A: The lawyer charges more. 

Black folks who don't want to look like 
they fell into a barrel of flour have a 
special talcum powder developed just for 
a black variety called Talcum X.....

these people were invited to the big game.... 
Schubert said he'd come, but there was 
something he had to finish first. 
Chairman Mao said he'd write the date down 
in his little red book. 
Dr. Jekyll was in two minds. 
Morse's reply was, "I'll be there on the dot. 
Can't stop now, need to dash." 
Boyle said he was under too much pressure. 
D.B. Cooper said he might drop in. 
Archimedes was buoyant. 

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my 
stomach started rumbling and I realized that I 
desperately needed to fart. 
The place was packed but the music was really 
loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment 
I timed my farts to the beat of the music. 
After a couple of songs I started to feel much 
I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone 
was staring at me…. 
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to 
my Ipod.....

The Washington Redskins are changing their 
name because of all the negativity, shame, 
humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, 
defiance, hatred, animosity, contempt, 
discrimination, division, violence, 
counter-productivity, ill-spirit, un-Godliness, 
and hostility associated with their name. 
From now on they will be known simply as the 

Two women were at a bar. 
One looked at the other and said, "You know, 
eighty percent of all men think the best way to 
end a fight is to make love." 
"Well," said the other woman, "if that was true, 
that would certainly revolutionize the game of 

What has two legs, spots, and bleeds? 
Half a cheetah.

An old immigrant who had served as for the 
US during WWII had been invited to speak at 
a luncheon of the ladies' auxiliary of a VFW 
Of course the ladies wanted to hear of his 
prowess in battle. 
The ladies all gasped when he started "I was 
flying recon when this fokker came right at me 
out of the sun..." Another man interrupted and 
said "Now ladies,it's not what you think you 
A Fokker is a type of German airplane." 
The old veteran said "Yea, well that fokker was 
a Messerschmitt." 

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on 
an attorney? 
 A: A doberman pinscher. 

The middle-aged married couple finally moved 
into the condo of their dreams, but right next 
door to a very sexy fashion model. 
The husband had taken to borrowing this or that 
from their neighbour and it seemed to the wife 
that it always took him way too long to return.
One time the wife had had enough and actually 
pounded on the wall between the two apartments. 
There being no response she telephoned, only to 
get the answering machine. 
Finally she went to the model's door and just kept 
ringing the bell.
When the model answered, the wife fumed, 
"I would like to know why it is my husband takes 
so damn long to get something over here."
"Well sweetie," the model purred, "all these 
interruptions sure ain't helping none either."