Saturday, January 10, 2015



I've drawn a comic cartoon picture of 
Mohamed and signed it Kim Jong-un. 
Let's see where this goes. 

News: US President meets with Mexico President. 
When asked what it's like to govern 100 million 
Mexican people, 
Obama said, "It can be challenging." 

Signs that your cat is planning to kill you: 
He takes notes whenever Tom and Jerry are on. 
He sharpens his claws on your car's brake lines. 
You wake up and find a sparrow's head in your 
His ball of yarn is tied playfully into a hangman's 
The droppings in his litter box spell out DEATH.

A cockroach’s last words to a man who is about 
to kill him:
“Go ahead and kill me, You coward!
 You are jealous of me because your wife is 
afraid of me and NOT AFRAID OF YOU !

Two animal rights protesters were protesting 
at the cruelty of sending pigs to a 
slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. 
Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose 
and escaped through a broken fence, 
stampeding madly. 
The two hopeless protesters were trampled to 

I always say "I was wondering when you'd find 
me" when I get in my car. 
That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll 
look cool as shit.

Q: What happens when you mix Viagra with 
Mr. Clean?
A: Rise and shine.

Always carry a picture of your wife in your 
It will remind you of why there is no money in 

A statistician is someone who tells you, when 
you’ve got your head in the fridge and your feet 
in the oven, that you’re – on average – 
very comfortable.

I asked mom once how she knew dad was 
"the one". 
"Because," she replied, "DNA tests don't lie." 

A weed scientist goes into a shop..
He asks: ”Hey, have you got any of that 
inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate-carboxyvinyl 
Shopkeeper: ”You mean Roundup?”
Scientist: ”Yeah, that’s it. 
I can never remember that dang name.”