Watch out for the Wind....
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♥
"The mystery of government is not how
Washington works but how to make it stop."
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anything is possible with the right attitude and a
sledgehammer...
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My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds
I'd have to stay away from carbs....
So I've been using this insanely long straw to
drink beer...
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Tim Cook has announced that he's gay.
Samsung just filed a lawsuit claiming they came
out of the closet 3 years ago.
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I wait til the mailman comes to send all my
emails in front of him while keeping eye contact
and whispering "Your end is nigh, letter boy."
••
Gary is a young boy of 18, who is learning the
dressmaker's business at his father's well known
store.
He is discussing a range of polycotton fine
trousers with a customer, when he approaches
his father.
"Dad", he says, "This customer has tried our
entire range of exclusive unshrinkable trousers.
He wants to know if the trousers will shrink."
Gary's father asks him, "Does he fit into it?"
Gary says, "To tell you the truth, they seem to be
big for him."
Gary's father advices, "Fine then, tell him it will
shrink."
••
Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed
Wikipedia was an unreliable source,
suggesting instead that I listen to him,
a drunk guy at a bar
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Goran says to Lydia, "Sweetheart, do u smell that?
Lydia says, "No, nothing."
Goran says, "You are right.
Neither do I. Start cooking."
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I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this
morning.
It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony
check.
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Tom goes to see a shrink.
He says, "I need to discuss a problem concerning
my son.
He has this bad habit of eating mud.
When I come home for lunch, I find him in the
backyard eating mud.
When I come home for dinner, I find him in the
backyard eating mud.
I can't understand his obsession with mud!"
The shrink tried to calm him down and said,
"Give the boy a chance.
Some kids are like that.
It's all a part and parcel of growing up.
This habit will go away on its own."
Tom says, "I can't stand it, neither can his wife."
••
How much do you want to bet that the inventor
of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?
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