It is real foggy this morning...
Cloudy with a 30 percent chance of showers.
Highs in the lower 70s....Today.
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A redneck fire Alarm.....
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In case you run out.......
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Birthday Party......
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He's mean until he gets his morning coffee...
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Okay....just checking.....
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It must have been really sad......
and down in the dumps.....
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Yep, it sure does.....
Friday the 13th.?
That's scary!....
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One way to trim a tree.......
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Hey! Are you above the Law??
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♥♥♥
~ A nurse had been doing twelve-hour shifts on the
medical/surgical unit.
One night she finally got to enjoy a date at the movies
with her husband.
As they were holding hands in the theater, he turned to
her and said, "Look, if you want to hold hands, fine.
But quit taking my pulse, okay?"
medical/surgical unit.
One night she finally got to enjoy a date at the movies
with her husband.
As they were holding hands in the theater, he turned to
her and said, "Look, if you want to hold hands, fine.
But quit taking my pulse, okay?"
☼
~ What i learned about wine tasting.....
a friend of mine, Pete who is quite the wine connoisseur
invited me to a wine tasting room last sunday morning.
He went on and on about how to swish, swirl, and smell
each wine.
After awhile i was catching a good buzz in fact after a
couple of hours i was getting messed up pretty good!
I really dont remember much of what he was teaching
me but what i really remember for the next time I go is
1st, dont go on an empty stomach (i did and regret it)
2nd, sip, dont gulp!... and
a friend of mine, Pete who is quite the wine connoisseur
invited me to a wine tasting room last sunday morning.
He went on and on about how to swish, swirl, and smell
each wine.
After awhile i was catching a good buzz in fact after a
couple of hours i was getting messed up pretty good!
I really dont remember much of what he was teaching
me but what i really remember for the next time I go is
1st, dont go on an empty stomach (i did and regret it)
2nd, sip, dont gulp!... and
3d, most importantly never trust a fart!
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~ Mary: My friend Joe called me last night to complain
about his home life.
Jill: Really? What's the problem?
Mary: Oh, it's the usual.
His daughter's a teenager.
You know how teens can be!
Jill: Oh, yes, I do!
Mary: He said, "I can't get a break!......
My daughter's 14 and getting breasts,
and my wife's 48 and getting a moustache!"
about his home life.
Jill: Really? What's the problem?
Mary: Oh, it's the usual.
His daughter's a teenager.
You know how teens can be!
Jill: Oh, yes, I do!
Mary: He said, "I can't get a break!......
My daughter's 14 and getting breasts,
and my wife's 48 and getting a moustache!"
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~ Bowling ball humor...
I worry about the germs in the holes of bowling balls.
Nobody cleans those holes.
There are years of impacted pizza fingers in there.
Taco fingers.
Chicken fingers.
I'm amazed those balls still have holes.
Ever smell a bowling ball hole?
You think the balls are knocking down the pins?
You're wrong.
The pins are passing out from the smell.
I worry about the germs in the holes of bowling balls.
Nobody cleans those holes.
There are years of impacted pizza fingers in there.
Taco fingers.
Chicken fingers.
I'm amazed those balls still have holes.
Ever smell a bowling ball hole?
You think the balls are knocking down the pins?
You're wrong.
The pins are passing out from the smell.
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~ The front door was accidentally left open and our dog
was gone.
After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband
got in the car and went looking for him.
He drove around the neighborhood for some time with
no luck.
Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and
asked if they had seen our dog.
"You mean the one following your car ?" they asked.
~ The front door was accidentally left open and our dog
was gone.
After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband
got in the car and went looking for him.
He drove around the neighborhood for some time with
no luck.
Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and
asked if they had seen our dog.
"You mean the one following your car ?" they asked.
☼
~ Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean,
spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, son," the father shark said to the son
shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the
tip of our fins showing.".....
And they did.
"Well done, son!
Now we swim around them a few more times with all of
our fins showing."
And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad,
why didn't we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them?
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better
without the chit inside!"
spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, son," the father shark said to the son
shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the
tip of our fins showing.".....
And they did.
"Well done, son!
Now we swim around them a few more times with all of
our fins showing."
And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad,
why didn't we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them?
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better
without the chit inside!"
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~ A senior in high school was failing his math class
which meant he would be inelligible to play in the
championship game.
The student, the coach, and the principal all put
pressure on the math teacher until he folded.
"All right!" he snapped.
"I'll ask just one question.
If your boy can get it right, I'll give him a passing grade.
What is five plus five?"
"Ten," said the young athlete after a moment or two.
And the coach cried, "Please give him one more chance!"
which meant he would be inelligible to play in the
championship game.
The student, the coach, and the principal all put
pressure on the math teacher until he folded.
"All right!" he snapped.
"I'll ask just one question.
If your boy can get it right, I'll give him a passing grade.
What is five plus five?"
"Ten," said the young athlete after a moment or two.
And the coach cried, "Please give him one more chance!"
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~ A lawyer asked a boy called as a witness,
"Did anybody tell you what to say in court?"
The boy said, "Yes, my dad did."
The lawyer frowned, "I see. And what was that?"
The boy said, "He told me that you would try to tangle
me up, but if I stuck to the truth, I would be okay."
"Did anybody tell you what to say in court?"
The boy said, "Yes, my dad did."
The lawyer frowned, "I see. And what was that?"
The boy said, "He told me that you would try to tangle
me up, but if I stuck to the truth, I would be okay."
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Todays Thought:
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything.
That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
Rae's Trivia......
The modern hypodermic needle was invented in 1853.
It was initially used for giving injections of morphine as
a painkiller.
Physicians mistakenly believed that morphine would
not be addictive if it bypassed the digestive tract.
It was initially used for giving injections of morphine as
a painkiller.
Physicians mistakenly believed that morphine would
not be addictive if it bypassed the digestive tract.
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