Saturday, August 27, 2011

#1388

Cloudy with a chance of showers and thunderstorms.
Breezy with highs around 80.
North winds 10 to 15 mph with gusts up to 20 mph...
increasing to 15 to 25 mph with gusts up to 35 mph
in the afternoon.
Maybe one inch of rain..
The hurricane won't do much for us....It's breaking up
somewhat... and losing strength....



How about about some curly fries with your burger....

With a coke, no less.......

"Sparky" likes doing the "Dew!"
Done turned  his eyes Dew green....

This one likes coffee,with double cream....

Barbara found a great way to lose weight......

I know... I have been told...
Lookin!

So your the one messing up the paper..
At least wait until I read it.....

What can I say?

Coukdn't get used to the bathrooms overseas....
So he made do.... Cool fix it!

Welcome to the club, Eno....

Well, gotta do my shopping....

♥♥♥

~  UPDATE ON WASHINGTON EARTHQUAKE!
UPDATE: The Weather Channel says the east
coast earthquake was caused by an unknown fault line
running under D.C. and through Virginia.
It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama
will say it's really Bush's Fault.
Another theory is that it was the founding fathers rolling
over in their graves, but I believe what we all thought
was an earthquake was actually the effects of a
14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington.


~  Susie came home from her first day at school.
Her mother said, "Well, Honey, what did you learn
 today?"
"Not enough, I guess....They want me to come back
again tomorrow."


~ Sign outside a prostitutes house:
MARRIED MEN NOT ALLOWED, WE SERVE THE NEEDY
NOT GREEDY



~  This guy goes to a costume party with a girl on his
back.
"What the heck are you?" asks the host.
"I'm a snail" says the guy.
"But... you have a girl on your back" replies the host.
"Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"


~  Desmond, who was a real town dweller,
drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roads.
Luckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big
strong donkey called Dobbin.
 He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly,
'Pull, Dolly, pull!'
Dobbin didn't move one inch.
 Then the farmer yelled, 'Pull, Robbie, pull.'
Still Dobbin failed to respond.
Once more the farmer commanded in a stentorian
voice, 'Pull, Ringo, pull.' Again - nothing.
 Then the farmer nonchalantly and quietly muttered,
'Pull, Dobbin, pull.'
 Immediately the donkey easily dragged the car out of
the ditch.
 Desmond was very appreciative but also very curious.
He asked the farmer why he called his donkey by a
different name three times.
 The farmer whispered by way of reply,
'Oh, Dobbin is blind and if he thought he was the only
one pulling, he wouldn't even try.'



~   I think my gps has a virus cause it sent me to a
womens fat farm when I was driving an empty ice cream
truck, They nearly killed me!


~  The wife was so smug.
"Call me the brains of the family from now on!" she said.
"I've saved $20 bucks filling the car across the road!"
 "What did you do, flash your tits at the attendant?"
I laughed.
"Ooh, you men are so silly.
It's easy to spot they're 25 cents a gallon cheaper."
 "Really and on our doorstep?"
"Yes! God knows why you fill it up with diesel if
unleaded's that price!"


~  The Wednesday-night church service coincided with
the last day of hunting season.
Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer.
No one raised a hand.
Puzzled, the pastor said, “I don’t get it.
Last Sunday many of you said you were were unable
to make service because of hunting season.
I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.”
One hunter groaned, “Well, it worked.
They're all safe.”


*  Baseball, it is said, is only a game. 
True. 
And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.


~  While getting a checkup, Pete tells his doctor that
he thinks his wife is losing her hearing.
The doctor says, "You should do a simple test.
Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey??
Move 3 feet closer, and do it again.
Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds.
Remember how close you were when she gives you an
answer.
That will help me know how bad her hearing loss is."
About a month later,Pete is at the doctor again, and the
doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with
your wife's hearing??
Pete says "yes."
"How close did you get before she answered?"
"Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away,
she just turned around and said,
"For the FIFTH TIME... WHAT???"

Todays Thought;
 When you cook it should be an act of love.
To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child
is an act of hate. - Raymond Blanc

Rae's Trivia....
First belly button on display. 
Censors in the '60s were still nervous about showing
something as provocative as a female navel,
so they compromised with the producers of the
1965-66 beach sitcom Gidget:
 Bikini-clad extras could show their belly buttons,
but lead actress Sally Field could not.






1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG a belly button! Whatever next? How much difference 50 years have made and are they all for the better?
Rae xx