I'm showing 35º this morning...
Freezing rain later.....
☼
No, No, No not for me....
Petewete likes these...
☼
I'll take the hot dog....
But Chili, please...
☼
He wants part of that hotdog.....
with chili please!
I guess the Cat wants some too...
With chili??
☼
I don't know how good it is with chili...
☼
Why??
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Don't get close then.....
☼
The goverenment must have built this fence..
☼
He's watching out for the bad guys...
He's ready for them......
☼
Well, I gotta go...
gotta plow some snow....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Carlos the ice-cream man’s van is parked at the side of the road.
Lights flashing, music playing, a big queue of excited kids stretches down the street.
But no sign of Carlos.
A cop walking down the road wonders what is going on.
Where is Carlos?
Why is he not dishing out the ice-cream?
He goes over to the van and peers over the high counter.
On the floor he spots Carlos, lying very still covered in
chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, nuts, hundreds and
thousands and those little jelly bits.
"Get back kids" he shouts.
Moving away so the bemused kids cannot overhear him he
gets on the radio to the station.
Sarge get someone down here quick" he stutters
"Carlos the ice-cream man ......... He’s topped himself !"
☼
~~ On a beautiful Summer's day, a father and his
eight-year-old son were lying on the grass by the river bank,
looking up at the sky and watching the wisps of cloud float
gently overhead.
After a few minutes of silence, the boy turned to the father
and said "Dad, why are we here?"
"That's a good question, son.
I think we're here to enjoy days such as this, to experience
nature in all its glory, the vastness of the sky, the beauty of
the trees, the song of the birds, the rippling flow of the
water.
We're here to help make the world a better place,
to pass on our wisdom to future generations who will
hopefully profit from our achievements and learn from our
mistakes.
We're here to savour the small triumphs of life -
passing your school exams, the birth of a new member of
the family, promotion at work, a win for our team.
And we're here to comfort those dearest to us in times of
distress, to provide kindness and compassion,
support and strength, to let them know that, no matter how
bad a situation may seem, they are not alone.
Does that answer your question, son?"
"Not really, Dad."
"No?"
"No, what I meant was, why are we here when Mum
said to pick her up over an hour ago?"
☼
~~ There was a man in the hospital bed.
He was covered with bandages from head to toe.
The guy next to him asked, "What do you do for a living?"
He said, "I'm a former window cleaner."
"When did you give it up?"
"Halfway down."
☼
~~ A man who robbed banks, dressed as a woman,
has finally been caught.
The judge gave him a long prison sentence,
and warned him that his career as a female impersonator
was probably not over just yet...
☼
~~ The dad is telling his son stories to help him sleep.
The only sound is the murmur of dad's voice.
Two hours pass, and there's silence in the room.
The mother creeps to the door and whispers:
"Is he asleep dear?"
"Yes, Mummy" says her son.
☼
~~ I bought a new abacus from a street corner salesman
this morning.
I said "This looks a bit dodgey,
are you sure it's going to work?"
"Don't count on it" he replied
☼
~~ Does anyone have the owners manual for a wife?
Mine's emitting a terrible whining noise........
☼
~~ Robber:- Give me the money or you're Geography.
Bank Clerk:- Don't you mean History?
Robber:- Don't start changing the subject.
☼
~~ A snake walks? into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender tells him he cant serve him.
"Why not" say's the snake.
The bartender tells him because he can't hold his beer.
☼
~~ A man being mugged by two thugs put up a
tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet,
the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied
"I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my
shoe!"
☼
☼
Todays Thought: "Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet."
Rae's Trivia: An elephant's trunk is extremely complex and sensitive,
capable of performing delicate functions like picking up a coin from a flat
surface or cracking open a peanut, blowing away the shell,
and putting the kernel in its mouth.
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