Good Morning, friends and neighbors....
Well, Rain, rain...plenty rain.....
Was a break in the clouds yesterday morning....
So I got a shot at it......
She's got her breakfast!!
Yup...take that hopper!☼
Ya think it stings??
I don't know, looks mean....
Damn, what a tug of war!!
That Gater must be hungry....
"Touch the Duckie and I'll kill....
Looks like some's got a nice warm bed........
Yoda? is that you, riding...??
Well, time to jet away....
See you tomorrow......
~~ Pete finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage.He whispers to the usher,
"This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up.
Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him to the second row, and Pete hands
the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over
"The wife did it."
~~ I recently submitted a building permit application
It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide with 9
gun turrets at various heights and windows all over the
place and a loud outside entertainment sound system.
It would have had parking for 200 cars and I was going
to paint it pale green with pink trim.
The City Council told me to forget about it.
So, I sent the application in again, but this time I called
it a Mosque........
Work starts on Monday.
~~ Forbes has come out with its list of the richest
400 people in America.
No. 1 was Bill Gates.
No. 2 was Tiger Woods' wife.
~~ My neighbor, Tom, a former high-school halfback,
Came home from combat duty in Afghanistan.
He was excited to tell me that his unit had played a
makeshift game of football.
"Just don't tell my mom," he begged.
"If she knew I was playing football she'd worry that I might
reinjure my knee."
~~ The company I work for offers tours through the
historic district of Annapolis, led by guides dressed in
While leading a group, one of our guides, Dave,
tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.
He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room,
a policeman walked by.
Doing a double take at Dave in his eighteenth-century garb,
he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"
~~ My patient, James, was eighty-seven years old,
the sweetest of patients, one of nature's gentlemen.
When it came time to give James a sponge bath,
I stood him upnext to the bed so I could wash his privates.
He looked down and said,
"Have you ever seen anything so big?"
I didn't know what to tell him.
All I could think of was there was this guy down in Florida one
time...but before I could say a word, James shook his head and
said, "My brother-in-law told me once that these have got to be
the biggest damn feet he has ever seen!"
~~ The receptionist for the company where I'm employed
found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker.
She sent the following e-mail: "If anybody can say where they
lost $66, please let me know and it will be returned to you."
Within minutes one employee replied,
"Kentucky Derby, 1986."
~~ As a promotional gimmick for my restaurant,
I send out coupons offering people a free dinner on their
One day an anxious-sounding man called.
"I got your card. How did you find me?"
"From a mailing list I purchased from a supplier,"
I told him. "Why?"
"It used my real name, and I'm in the Witness
What's the name of the company?"
I didn't want to say it, but I had to tell him the truth:
~~ Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.
Student: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ
Teacher: Where's the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!
~~ The newlyweds were on their honeymoon when the groom
asked, "Honey, you can tell me.
Am I the first man?"
She looked up and said, "Why does everybody ask me that?!"
Todays Thought: Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. ~~John F. Kennedy