Thursday, September 30, 2010

Good Morning, friends and neighbors....
Well, Rain, rain...plenty rain.....

Was a break in the clouds yesterday morning....
So I got a shot at it......

She's got her breakfast!!

Ya think?

Yup...take that hopper!

Ya think it stings??
I don't know, looks mean....

Damn, what a tug of  war!!
That Gater must be hungry....

"Touch the Duckie and I'll kill....

Looks like some's got a nice warm bed........

Yoda? is that you, riding...??

Well, time to jet away....
See you tomorrow......

~~ Pete finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher,
"This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up.
Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him to the second row, and Pete hands
the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over
and whispers,
"The wife did it."

~~ I recently submitted a building permit application
 for a
new house.
It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide with 9
 gun turrets at various heights and windows all over the
place and a loud outside entertainment sound system.
It would have had parking for 200 cars and I was going
to paint it pale green with pink trim.
The City Council told me to forget about it.
So, I sent the application in again, but this time I called
it a Mosque........
Work starts on Monday.

~~ Forbes has come out with its list of the richest
400 people in America.
No. 1 was Bill Gates.
No. 2 was Tiger Woods' wife.

~~ My neighbor, Tom, a former high-school halfback,
Came home from combat duty in Afghanistan.
He was excited to tell me that his unit had played a
makeshift game of football.
"Just don't tell my mom," he begged.
"If she knew I was playing football she'd worry that I might
reinjure my knee."

~~ The company I work for offers tours through the
historic district of Annapolis, led by guides dressed in
 colonial clothing.
While leading a group, one of our guides, Dave,
tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.
He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room,
a policeman walked by.
Doing a double take at Dave in his eighteenth-century garb,
he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"

~~ My patient, James, was eighty-seven years old,
 the sweetest of patients, one of nature's gentlemen.
When it came time to give James a sponge bath,
I stood him upnext to the bed so I could wash his privates.
He looked down and said,
"Have you ever seen anything so big?"
I didn't know what to tell him.
All I could think of was there was this guy down in Florida one
time...but before I could say a word, James shook his head and
said, "My brother-in-law told me once that these have got to be
the biggest damn feet he has ever seen!"

~~ The receptionist for the company where I'm employed
found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker.
She sent the following e-mail: "If anybody can say where they
lost $66, please let me know and it will be returned to you."
Within minutes one employee replied,
"Kentucky Derby, 1986."

~~ As a promotional gimmick for my restaurant,
I send out coupons offering people a free dinner on their
One day an anxious-sounding man called.
 "I got your card. How did you find me?"
"From a mailing list I purchased from a supplier,"
I told him. "Why?"
"It used my real name, and I'm in the Witness
Protection Program.
What's the name of the company?"
I didn't want to say it, but I had to tell him the truth:
Moving Targets.

~~ Student: Can I use the bathroom?

Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.
Teacher: Where's the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!

~~ The newlyweds were on their honeymoon when the groom
asked, "Honey, you can tell me.
Am I the first man?"
She looked up and said, "Why does everybody ask me that?!"

Todays Thought:  Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. ~~John F. Kennedy


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

# 1070

Good Morning, friends and neighbors...
We are having some very nice weather now,
But gonna get more rain this weekend....
Boy, we need it....
I see the blogger pics uploader is goofed again...
Someone can't keep their fingers off it.

It was a nice cloudy day yesterday......makes for a pretty pic.

Have a Banana for breakfast, anyone??

Rideum cowboy!!

Now, thats weird.......

I'm not going to hug you either....
You an't biting me.....

You let that dog above you get a hold
of won't be growing up!!

Me thinks this guy is hyper

Yah, Bubba I know the blog is messed up today....
It's doing what it wants, not what I want...

Any takers??

Start cleaning Emo.......

Yeah, like Mr. Blogger's got mine..

Well, I gotta go and see if it will let me post todays jokes...


~~ After someone stole my brown-bag lunch at work,

I complained about it to my wife,
who offered to make me something wonderful the next day.
But as I pulled into the plant's parking lot,
I noticed a guy clearly down on his luck, so I gave him my lunch.
I didn't know there was a note from my wife in the bag:
"I know who you are, and I know where you live!"

~~ Toward the end of the school year, the sixth-grade teachers
decide which of their students should be accelerated in certain
subjects in the seventh grade.
When a child is chosen, his parents are notified.
When one boy was accelerated in science and math,
his mother wrote to the teacher:
"I think this is quite an honor for someone who just tried to
make two quarts of lemonade in a one-quart pitcher!"

~~ An employee submitted his expense account.
After checking it over, the employer said,
"I can't honor this, but I'd like to buy the fiction rights for a

~~ My mother is sixty, and her whole life she only slept with
one guy.
She won't tell me who.

~~ "Hello, is this the fire department?"
"Listen, my house is on fire! You've got to come right away!
It's terrible"
"Okay, how do we get to your house?"
"You don't have those big red trucks anymore?"

~~ A listener called the disc jockey on the air at our radio station
to ask about the upcoming lunar eclipse.
"The eclipse can be seen at 1:30 in the morning," the DJ told her.
"That late?" the listener snapped.
"I don't know why they don't schedule these things earlier,
so kids can enjoy them too!"

~~ A lecturer asks students to tell viral vaccine names...
Alice says, "HBV vaccine"
Jonathan says, "HBV vaccine"
Lecturer to Jonathan..."Why are you repeating Alice's answer?"
Jonathan says, "Errrr..Mmmm...It's a second dose, sir!"

~~ A teacher received the following note by one of her students.
"Please excuse Abigail for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch,
and when we found it on Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

~~ I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II,
and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious
assault of all time?"
Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer,
I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

~~ Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close
of the morning service.
After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call
the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony
before the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of
those who were to be married.
'Will those wanting to get married please come to
the front?' Father Henry requested.
Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows,
four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

~~ A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a
loan application.
"Do you have references?" she asked.
The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"

~~ A new patient had just been brought to the med/surg floor
from the ER.
She was a very nice little lady around eighty years old.
I introduced myself and told her I would be helping her
throughout the shift.
About halfway through my introduction she stopped me,
pulled me close, and said,
"I am going to tell all my lady friends that this is the place to come,
because they have the cutest male workers!
I finished my spiel, and with a skip in my step,
rushed into the nursing station to brag about my compliment.
After I finished, a giggling RN whispered to me,
"Ryan, that patient is 90 percent clinically blind."

Todays Thought:   MR.BLOGGER please fix the picture uploader....


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Good Morning, friends and neighbors....
Well were are getting our needed rain..
Also calling for a rainy weekend, but you never know!

Cat's aren't that dumb.....
They would go under, for sure....

Cats do like warm places...
And nothing like a broody hen to keep you warm....

He said "I'll drink to that......

And he said "I'll dance to that!!"

And He will play music to that.....
Cause he's a cool Dude..

Now durn it...that's not the "Tiger Woods" we were talking about!!

Ya...We think it's funny also....Bubba!

There's always somebody to mess things up.....

I have to agree, except the readers of this blog........
Their the smart one's..
Well, "Witchy" sez she's not going to feed "Tallie"
So I guess I'll have too....

~~ Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing (bolter): You've got to land here, son.
This is where the food is.

~~ The morning he began kindergarten,
I told my son about the great adventure that awaited him.
"You're going to learn so many things," I said,
"like how to read and write!"
When I picked him up from school later,
 I asked how it went.
"Well," he said, "I still can't read or write."

~~ Having grown up in a small Alabama town,
my friend Mike couldn't wait to tell us all about life
 in California, where he was stationed.
"The malls are massive, and the restaurants are great,"
he said.
Then he grinned...... "I even went to a topless bar."
"Really?" said his mother, surprised.
"What do they do if it starts to rain?"

~~ Our family took shelter in the basement after
hearing a tornado warning.
My husband told everyone to stay put while he got
his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.
He didn't return for the longest time,
so I went looking for him.
I was upstairs calling his name,
when I heard our phone machine
click on.
"Hi," a voice said........
"This is Dad.I'm locked out of the house."

~~ "Congratulations on your promotion Jim.
Before you go out of the office,
would you like to take this knife
out of my back?
You'll probably need it again."

~~ One day Rudyard Kipling was enjoying
the daily newspaper when he came across a
rather interesting piece.
He was so interested, he even wrote to the
"I've just read that I am dead.
Don't forget to delete me from your
subscribers list."

~~ Mistakes are a part of being human.
Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious
life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
Unless it's a fatal mistake
which, at least, others can learn from.

~~ My wife, a registered nurse, once fussed over every
pain or mishap that came my way.
Recently, however,
I got an indication that the honeymoon is over.
I was about to fix the attic fan, and as I lifted myself from
the ladder into the attic, I scratched my forehead on
a crossbeam.
Crawling along, I picked up splinters in both hands,
and I cut one hand replacing the fan belt.
On the way down the ladder, I missed the last two rungs
and turned my ankle.
When I limped into the kitchen, my wife took one look and said,
"Are those your good pants?"

~~ One afternoon I rushed out of the house,
forgetting my keys, and found myself locked out.
There was nothing I could do but wait for my husband to
come home.
I went over to a neighbor who was outside raking leaves.
"You locked yourself out?" he asked.
"Yeah, this is the second time since we moved in.
After the first time we took an extra key and put it in a jar,
then stuck it in a potted plant on the deck.
"So what's the problem?"
"I took the plants in for the winter."

~~ The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which
the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea
cannot be expected to reproduce.

~~ Shannon, our seven-year-old daughter,
had grown her thick blond hair all the way to her waist.
I had been coaxing her to have it trimmed so it would
be easier to care for.
While trimming her older sister's hair one day,
I renewed my cajoling, "Come on, Shannon,
doesn't your sister's hair look nice?
How would you like your hair cut?"
She glanced at the job I was doing on her sister,
looked me straight in the eye and replied,
"By a professional.

~~ My husband and I have always exchanged chores around
the house, including doing the dishes, which I hate to do,
and mowing the lawn, which he hates to do.
This worked to our mutual satisfaction until he began to be
bothered by people in passing cars staring at him as he
 relaxed while I mowed.
He solved the problem by presenting me with a T-shirt to
wear while I was cutting the grass.
On the front, big letters said: "IT'S ALL RIGHT."
The back of the T-shirt proclaimed:

Todays Thought:   "Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole"



Monday, September 27, 2010

Good rainy, showery, morning....
The blogger upload seems to be working so far.
So..How was your weekend?

A nice cloudy Sunrise..
Now it's pouring down.....

Wonder how may bike frames they used to make this fence?

Okay, quit playing with the screen while I'm trying to work......


Crooks always get cought.....

Keep on rolling Cool!

Ride um cowboy!
Another "Lone Ranger"??

He's cool....
( I used to love these things)

Okay Buck, time to blast off!!
Count down starting....

Yeah...I seem him in the drawer....

Well, I guess I gotta mow the grass, soons it quit raining....



Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Where are their priorities?

~~ 'Are the tablets doing you any good?'
asked the doctor.
'Well, to be honest,' said Pete,
'I haven't started taking them yet.'
'Why ever not?' asked the doctor.
'Well,' said Pete, 'you told me to swallow them
after a hot bath and I haven't finished swallowing
the hot bath yet!

~~ After my daughter sat glued to the TV set for most
of the day, I told her, "Do you know that the average
American spends more hours per day watching TV
than the average Olympic athlete spends training?"
She replied, "What's the point of all that training if
 no one's going to watch?"

~~ 'How's your son Michael?' asked widow McHugh.
'He's at university, taking Medicine,'
said Mrs Murphy proudly.
'And is it doing him any good?' said the widow.

~~ At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about
 the corpse:
'Doesn't he look happy?'
'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan.
'He died in his sleep and he doesn't know he's dead yet!
In fact,' she went on, 'if he wakes up in the morning
the shock will kill him!'

~~ A traveling salesman was driving once and noticed
an old man on a tractor plowing in a field.
Then he noticed that the man had a huge hole in his
overalls seat.
He decided to stop and inform him of the hole.
He walked across the field and stopped the farmer.
Then he asked him, did you know that you have a huge
 hole in your overalls?
Yes I do, it is there for two reasons.
One is it makes me cooler, the other is it keeps the gnats
out of my face.

~~ My family is practical
At day care, my four-year-old watched as a teacher
pulled something hot from the oven.
"What's that on your hand?" he asked.
"An oven mitt," she said.
"It keeps me from getting burned.
Doesn't your mother use them?"
"No, my mom's just really careful when she opens
the pizza box."

~~ Everything about living in the country delighted
 my neighbors, who had moved to our small town from
 the city.
One day they spotted a sign, "Fresh Eggs For Sale" at a
roadside stand where payment was on the honor system.
"Why can't everyone be this trusting?" they said as they
put their money into the box and took a carton.
When they got home and opened it, they found 11 eggs.

~~ As a law student, I landed a summer job as a law
clerk in a prestigious law firm in C-ville.
My duties included investigating personal injury claim
arising from automobile accidents.
One day an elderly woman called in from R-ville,
a small rural town north of C-ville.
On her way to work, an 18- wheeler plowed into the
back of her car.
The impact crumpled the back end of her car up past
her door, pinning her inside.
Going through my litany of questions, trying to sound
as lawyerly and professional as I could, I asked,
"Ma'm, did you give the police a statement?"
"Yes" she answered.
"What statement did you give them mam?" I asked.
"I tolls 'em, 'git me outta' here!!'"

~~ The Boss asked Pete,

"What time did you get back from lunch?"
Pete said, "About a quarter of twelve."
The Boss said, "I saw you coming in at 3 o'clock."
"Well", responded Pete, "Three is a quarter of twelve,
isn't it?"

~~ Pete was in front of me coming out of church

one day, and the preacher was standing at the door
as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed Pete by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army
of the Lord!"
Pete replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord,
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't "see you except
at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Today's thought: You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven. But what you are will be yours forever.


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Not a good morning....
Seems Mr. Blogger has goofed things up again...
This is all I can do this morning....
I have tried for over an hour to post only to lose it twice.
They had it great, then went and goofed it up...
Upgread? was a downgrade....

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Good Morning Friends....
Everybody ready for a pretty good weekend?
Just getting an occasional hummer now..
I guess their just passing thru.

 Yesterdays Sunrise......

I sorry..I cooked it, so it's mine.....

Bath time??

Quick...Turn the water on!
She would scramble then....

Keep your cat away from the drive in....

Yeah, doorbell works...Dummy!

That's for sure....An't that right Pete?

I wouldn't drop that thing....

Yea!,Right...! Your just sneaking a snack....

Well, I guess I gotta leave on this one.....

~~ Boudreaux suddenly quit drinking, took a bath,

quit his poker games and stopped foolin’ around.
He started cutting the grass around the church, even painted
it and was faithful to be first to attend on Sundays!
Father Thibodeaux asked him what about dis wonderful
changethat had done overtook him.
Boudreaux explained:
"I heard "Crisis in the Gulf" and if He’s dat close,
I wanna be good to go!

~~ Lord help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss

~~ The following advertisement appeared in a
physical fitness magazine:
"Here's a good test for stomach muscles.
Clasp your hands over your head and place your
feet together on the floor.
Now bend to the right at the waist as you sit down to
the left of your feet.
Now by sheer muscular control, haul yourself up,
bend to the left and sit down on the floor to the
right of your feet.
Keep this up and let us know of the result."
The first letter received by the magazine said:

~~ A husband took his young daughter to the supermarket
with him.
In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared
shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-coated donuts.
The man noticed the glare of his wife and said,
"This box of donuts has one-third fewer calories than usual."
"Why is that?" the mother asked.
"We ate a third of the donuts on the way home," he replied.

~~ A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how
strong she is until she gets in hot water.
~Eleanor Roosevelt~

~~ Having returned from the New World with the
newly-discovered tobacco plant,
Sir Walter Raleigh duly introduced Britain to the fine
art of smoking.
Some time thereafter,
Raleigh himself was enjoying a pipe
one day when his quick-thinking servant,
finding his master enveloped in smoke,
dutifully emptied a pot of water over his head.

Ping-Ping-Ping .....$50.00

~~ A student became lost during a solo
cross-country flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar,
Air Traffic Control asked,
"What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff".

~~ A preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk
with a backslider of his flock whose drinking of
moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors,
and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them.
"Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson,
"that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?"
"Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider.
"It makes me miss the folks I shoot at."

~~ Proud of my cooking skills, I smugly asked my

11-year-old-brother if he could tell the difference
between my cooking and my father's.
"Sure," he said, "When Dad cooks, we don't have to open
the windows."

Todays Thought:  Evolution created anchovies. Man's ignorance put them on pizza.

~~ you had the upload pictures thingie right,
But you got your fingers in it, now it's messed up.....
If it works, don't screw it up!~