Well, the hummingbirds are leaving... I did
have about 30, coming to the feeders,
last night there were 6-8...I's hard counting
them. Two came up to my bed room window,
peeking in, Sunday morning...
☼
A good view of the mountains...
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Just watching the sun go down.....
☼
It means your laying in the sun spot coming through
the stain glass window.....
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A circle of cats.....?
They tired....
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A hairy June Bug.... got any thread??
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I always thought this was a great Picture
And cute!
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Won't any one steal the engine......
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Funny job....huh!
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He thought that was funny looking picture....
They don't do that....do they??
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What can I say??
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I will slip away....unseen in my car.....
Hoping no one sees me......
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♥♥♥
~~ Everything's starting to click for me!" said Gus at dinner. "My knees, my elbows, my neck..."
☼
~~ A Waynesboro pheasant hunter took his son to
Greene county to do a little shooting,
but all of the good fields were posted "No Trespassing."
Being a good law abiding pheasant hunter (as surely all
Va., pheasant hunters are), the man left his son by their
car and went to the farm house to ask the farmer if they
might hunt in his fields.
He assured the farmer that no damage would be done to
his fields or fences, and the farmer said that he would
allow the hunting in his fields, if the hunter would do
him a favor.
"You see that old horse over there by your car?.
Well, he's old, and he's got miseries.
But he's sort of a family pet, and I can't bring myself to
shoot him........ Will you shoot him for me?"
The hunter agreed, and as he was walking back to his car,
he decided to play a joke on his son.
As he approached the car his son asked,
"Well, can we hunt the fields?"
The man pretending to be angry, responded
"You know these Greene farmers, they won't let anybody
hunt here.
It makes me so mad, I could...I could...",
and the man picked up his gun and shot the farmers horse.
But to his surprise, he heard additional gunshots behind him.
He turned around and his son said, "You got his horse.
I got his dog and cow...... Now, let's get out of here!"
☼
~~ After learning that her parents were in a minor car
accident, my wife called her mother.
"What happened" she asked.
"I was driving and fell asleep," said her mother, irritated.
"And of course, your father wasn't paying attention!"
☼
~~ Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all
answer at once.
How much is 6 plus 4?
Class: At once!
☼
~~ "Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house
when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents
scattered all over the floor?" asked the policeman.
"No, I just thought my husband had been looking for a
clean shirt," replied Pat.
☼
~~ We visited our newly married daughter,
who was preparing her first turkey dinner.
I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink
with a dish drainer inverted over the bird.
I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.
Our daughter turned to my wife and said,
"Mom, you always did it that way."
"Yes," my wife replied, "but you don't have a cat!"
☼
~~ When I was introduced to a couple visiting our
congregation, I decided to remember their names by
noting they were the same as those of two characters
in a popular children's story.
After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they
were saying goodbye, I teased,
"Be careful going up that hill!
But you must get that all the time."
They smiled politely but said nothing.
After they left, my wife asked,
"What was that all about?"
"Jack and Jill.... Up the hill..,.. Remember?" I said.
"Yes, but what does that have to do with,"
she pointed to the couple, "Dick and Jane?"
☼
~~ My husband used to work the night shift, so in the
evening my five year-old would climb into bed with me.
One night, my husband came home early.
"That's my wife," he joked.
"Get in your own bed."
"Fine" grumbled our son as he stormed off.
"When I have a wife, you can't sleep with her either."
☼
~~ A man went to the police station wishing to speak
with the burglar who had broken into his house the night
before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man.
"I want to know how he got into the house without
waking my wife.
I've been trying to do that for years!"
☼
~~ A certain senator was sitting in his attorney's office.
His lawyer said, "Do you want the bad news first or
the terrible news?"
"Give me the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" asked the Senator incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
☼
~~ Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini?
A: Four: Two in front, two in back
Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?
A: None. It’s full of elephants.
Q: How do you know when there are two elephants
in your refrigerator?
A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.
Q: How do you know when there are three elephants
in your refrigerator?
A: When you can’t close the door.
Q: How do you know when there are four elephants
in your refrigerator?
A: When there is a Mini parked outside.
☼
~~ More you say?............
Q: What’s harder than getting a pregnant elephant
, into a Volkswagen?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
Q: Why is a elephant big, grey, and wrinkley?
A: Because if it was small, white and hard,
it would be aspirin.
Q: Why are golf balls small and white?
A: Because if they were big and grey,
they would be elephants.
☼
☼
Todays Thought: What this world needs is a vegetarian mosquito.
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