Monday, August 27, 2007

We had a good Birthday....

Lunch time....
We had a good time at the pasture party....

Talk about Alaska food prices.
A women went to the store tobuy a couple heads of lettuce, but when she saw the price
at$2.00 she told the grocer, "Do you know what you can do with this lettuce?"
"No thanks, lady, I've got a $2.00 cucumber up there now."
(and we won't even talk about the $20.00 watermelons)

Thank you friends for all the cards........

Friday, August 24, 2007

Steam and Gas Pasture Party..

Apple Butter time is getting here..but it's too hot!

The two men stood on the lonely lighthouse.
Through the fog they could see a small boat making its way toward them, with a lonely occupant.
Suddenly a squall lifted the craft and tossed the man into the water.
The two men on shore sprang into action.
Hurriedly they launched their own craft and fought their way through perilous and treacherous waters to reach the man.
At last they got him aboard their boat.
"It's a good thing you rescued me," the dripping man said gratefully.
"I was coming out to see you about your income tax."

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Some Cool stuff............

Blue foot Boobies

Steam and pasture party this weekend....

Pete walks into a doctors and says, "Doctor, I think i have a slight discharge."
The female doctor says, OK, stand here and pull your pants down.
Pete does as she says, the doctor then begins massaging his willy, After a few minutes, she says, Theres no discharge here.
Pete replies, "I know, its in my ear....."

How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
If she farts, her ankles swell.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Nuttin going on.....

Books we'll never read or use:

"Dr. Pock's Seven Quick-Day Steps to Acne and Blackhead Removal"

Dr. Sigmund Pussible's "Book of Boils for the Med Student"

Dr. Incredible's "Supremely-Perfect Marriage and Never-Divorce Manual"
Your Mother-in-Law Is Just Like Your Own Mom...Really!"

"Miss Teague's Coffee Grounds Ice Cream Sundaes"

"Foot Soaks To Win The Woman Of Your Dreams"

Exercise/Health Equipment With Catchy Names and New to the Marketplace:

"Brainiac Jack or Jill in the Sack"---a head device increases your IQ while you still get 8 hours of sleep! Amazing!

"The Sub-Fat Jacket"---wear it while eating low-fat subs and lose an extra 20 pounds in 6 weeks!

"Ice Cream Churn-Off"---in 10 minutes a day for 2 weeks, all ice- cream cravings go to zero!

"Butt-B-Gone"---large butts go to normal size in 30 days with this unusual device. Note: the "end butt" may still offend you!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

We get alot of these around here.....

An "Aye-Aye"

The Aye-aye is native to Madagascar, that combines rodent-like teeth with a long, thin middle finger.

Being the world’s largest nocturnal primate, It’s characterized by its unique method of finding food, tapping on trees to find grubs, then gnawing holes in the wood and inserting its elongated middle finger to pull the grubs out.
The Aye-aye is currently an endangered species.
They’re the world’s largest nocturnal primate, and dwell predominantly in forest canopies, weighing about 5.5 pounds (2.5 kilograms).

Now the joke.....
Two nuns were walking across a pasture when one stepped in a cow patty, She yelled,"
Oh SHIT, I stepped in some # 2!"

What do you call a person who can't walk through a pasture without getting shit all over their shoes?

Friday, August 10, 2007

A really hot day....

The Shop....
The little one is nipping and trying to play...She's not scared!
A man rushed into a jewelry store, told the clerk he needed a pair of diamond earrings for his wedding anniversary, and quickly made his selection.
When asked if he wanted them wrapped, he replied, "That would be great, but hurry.
My wife thinks I'm taking out the garbage!"

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Ah..So....I have a suprise for you........

Gentle thoughts for today.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

Friday, August 3, 2007

Pot roast on...Smells so good......

Old Age Combat Hat..
Now the funny....

Two women were discussing reincarnation.
One asked Ruby if her husband believed in it.
Ruby said, "Does my husband believe in life after death?
My husband doesn't even believe in life after dinner!"