Good Morning, everyone......
Today we will have Showers...
Highs in the lower 70s.
Chance of rain 80 percent.
67º now....
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What?.. Your buns are cold?

We can't have cold buns, now can we?

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I see the guard dog is guardian...

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I have an open mind.....

to a point.......

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I don't understand baby talk....

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Yes it could be...

The door could have been left open....

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Looks like he's gonna blow something up...

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Don't like Squirrel, thank you, just the same....

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That looks to be the case.......

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The only one making money now....

But there is still a lot in D.C. ...

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♥♥♥

~  A bloke runs into a pet shop, puts a bomb on the
counter and says "Everyone's got 30 seconds to get
out before this explodes"
A tortoise at the back of the shop shouts "Oh, Chit!"

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~  School lunches are not generally popular with those
 that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one
schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of ?" asked the cook.
"Glue!".....
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."

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 ~  A college student needed a small two-hour course to
fill his schedule and the only one available was
wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.
The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into
four squares.
In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's
 legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from
their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier
every minute.
Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and
threw the test on the teacher's desk.
"This is the worst test I have ever been given."
The teacher looked up and said:
"Young man, you have flunked the test.
What's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his
legs and said:   "You tell me"

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~  Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac?
He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

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~  A man walks past a beggar every day going to work,
and gives him $5 and that Continues for a year.
Then suddenly the daily donation changes to$3.50.
" Well," the beggar thinks, " it's still better than
nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation
suddenly becomes $1.00.
" What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor."
First you give me $5.00 every day, then $3.50 and now
only R$1.00.
What's the problem?"
" Well," the man says, " last year my eldest son went
to university.
It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs.
This year my eldest daughter also went to university,
so I had to cut my expenses even further ."
" And how many children do you have?" the beggar
asks.
" Four," the man replies.
 " Well," says the beggar, " I hope you don't plan to
educate them all at my expense."

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~  Did you hear about the new restaurant that just
opened up on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.

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~  The "Who Is Your Real Friend Test".......
THIS REALLY WORKS!
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment
Step 1 - Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of
the car for 1 hour.
Step 2 - Open the trunk after the time is up.
Which one is really happy to see you?

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 ~   I went into a Hallmark card shop today.
I said to the woman behind the counter, "Do you sell
bereavement cards?"
 She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well
soon card I bought yesterday?

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Thought for the Day;

"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it
will eat him last!" - Sir Winston Churchill

Rae;s Trivia....

A shrewdness of apes
A troop of baboons
A shoal of bass
A sleuth or sloth of bears
A sounder of boars
An army of caterpillars
A clowder or clutter of cats
A brood or peep of chickens
A clutch or chattering of chicks

 

Good Morning, friends....
Today's forecast....
Cloudy with a slight chance of showers in the morning...
then partly sunny with a chance of showers
and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs around 80..... Chance of rain 50 percent.
67º right now.......
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Sure I know what day this is....do you??

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Don't look like a Hamster....Bubba!!

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Time to go four wheelin...

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What can I say.. I don't hear too good either....

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Damn, that is why my pizza tasted funny.......

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Keeping my mouth shut......

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Don't you like strawberrys??

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Thanks, but I no got fifty bucks...

Will you take ten??

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Time to leave....see you in the morning.....

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♥♥♥

*  Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows
have  Bluetongue.
 "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had
mobile phones!"

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*  Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than
the speed of light.
This means that if you turn on a light switch,
you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

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*  A woman phoned her dentist when she received a
huge bill.
“I’m shocked!” she complained.
“This is three times what you normally charge.”
 “Yes, I know,” said the dentist.
“But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other
patients.”

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*  Q. Why do UVA graduates hang their diplomas from
their rear view mirror?
 A. So they can use handicapped parking.

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*  A man dies and goes to heaven when Peter meets him
 at the Pearly Gates.
Peter says, “You need 1000 points to make it into
heaven.
You tell me all of the good things you’ve done, and I
give you a certain number of points for each item.
When you reach 1000 points, you get in.”
“Okay,” the man says, “I was happily married to the
same woman for fifty years and never cheated on her,
not even in my mind.”
“That’s wonderful,” says Peter, “that’s worth two points!”
“Two points?” he says.
“Well, I attended church all my life and gave my ten
percent tithe faithfully.”
“Terrific!” says Peter. “That’s definitely worth a point.”
“One point? My goodness!
Well, what about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city
and worked in a shelter for the homeless?”
“Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,” he says.
“TWO POINTS!” the man cries. “At this rate the only way
I can get into heaven is by the grace of God!”
“Now that’s what we’re looking for!..... Come on in!”

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*  Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!

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*  My wife woke me up this morning by screaming
hysterically at our son's crib.
I'd forgotten to mention that I'd dressed him up as a
Smurf before bedtime.

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*  We had a power cut at home last night.
So, instead of a night of TV, the wife and I spent the time
chatting.
It was a real eye opener - I'm off to buy a back-up
generator today.

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*  A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing....
Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5
people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at
their reflection.

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Todays Thought:

•When I was young I was called a rugged individualist.
 When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric.
Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then
and I'm labeled senile. --- George Burns

Rae's Trivia.....

Well-dressed ladies in Europe went wild over wearing
lightning rods on their hats and trailing a long ground
wire a fad that began after Benjamin Franklin published
instructions on how to make them in his almanac
Poor Richard Improved in 1753.

 

 

 

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
Today we'll have...  A chance of showers in the morning...
then showers likely with a slight chance of thunderstorms
in the afternoon. Highs in the lower 70s.
Chance of rain 70 percent.
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Yesterdays Sunrise.......

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I don't know about you, but I love fried Chicken....

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Hey! "Bubba"..Dogs can't read.......

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Looks like a couple "Cat Fish".......

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Hey! a famous side walk artist did this.....

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Must be a "Lazyboy' couch....

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Damn, Is that you, BATMAN??

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Going to take this shortcut...

See you tomorrow.....

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♥♥♥

*  Vicky was at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect.
Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a
stranger?s voice say, ?We have Vicky on the line.
Will you accept the charges??
Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came
charging outside screaming, ?Dad!
They have Mom!.... And they want money!?

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*  Okay, so a Texan rancher comes upon a farmer from
Maine.
The Texan looks at the Mainer and asks,
"Say, how much land you think you got here?"
Mainer: 'Bout 10 acres I'd say."
Texan (boasting): Well, on my lot, it takes me all day to
drive completely around my property!"
Mainer: "Yep, I got one of them trucks too...

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*  There was a blonde chef who got fired recently.....
They said it was because she lacked common scents........

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*   why is a banana is like a politician?
 When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow
and then he's rotten..
I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like
NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate
sponsors.

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*  You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.

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*  So there's this foreign guy in the office today,
and my coworker is talking to him about a new born
baby.
 "What'd you have?" she asks.
His eyes light up with the love you only see in a brand
new father, and he says, "an American citizen!"

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*  Stoner walks up to a guy with a chicken on a rotisserie
 spit on the barbecue grill.
 "Duuuuuuuuuuuuude".
"What?", asks the barbecuer.
"Duuuuuude, the music has stopped and your
monkey's on fire."

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*  I saved my mistress' phone number as 'LOW BATTERY'.
Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the missus
takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.

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~  My Wife and I are inseparable.
In fact, last week it took four cops and a police dog to
keep us apart.

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Todays Thought;

 "What we think, or what we know, or what we believe
is, in the end, of little consequence.
The only consequence is what we do." - John Ruskin

Rae's Trivia....

One of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World was a
lighthouse, the famous Pharos of Alexandria in Egypt.
Pharos was the first lighthouse in history, and is still the
tallest on record. (It was 450 feet high about the size
of a 45-story skyscraper.)

 

Good Morning, Friends....
Today we're having weather wise;
Cloudy with a 50 percent chance of showers.
Highs in the mid 70s.  I've got 61º right now.....
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I wondered why the black helio's were circling overhead..

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Stop eating my plants!!

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Just going for the morning walk.....

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Sounds more like cat wailing to me.. 

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A pet pig?.. no thanks,

I'll stick with my outside cats...

Thank you!

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It's magic, alright!

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Is thayt all?  more like 6-8.......

Time I was on my way....

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♥♥♥

~~  Gus and Pete, were discussing the amazing
advances in automotive technology.
"You know," said Pete, "cars are almost entirely run by
computer.
Pretty soon, more and more electric cars will be on the
market. And before long, for heaven's sake, they'll
probably come up with a biological car."
"We already have a biological car, Pete," said Gus.
"It's called a horse."

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~~  If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know
which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!

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~~  "Hey, how come there isn't any more hot water?"
Walt asked, after taking a shower.
His sixteen-year-old son Mark said, "It's my fault.
I took three showers today, one after working out,
 another after mowing the yard, and a third one
because I have a date with Angie tonight."
"Well," said Walt, "Can you cut down on the number
of showers you take?"
"No problem, Dad.
I'll start taking my showers over at Angie's."

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~~  A man, accompanied by his wife, stopped at the
border crossing where I am a Customs inspector.
He was under the mistaken belief that if he claimed half
of their combined purchases, he'd pay less duty.
I explained I could include both names on one
document, expediting the process, but he became
rather belligerent and insisted he wanted his own
receipts.Resigned, I began calculating the duty.
The origin of the goods can significantly affect the duty,
especially on shoes, clothing and textiles, and as I read
the man's first item, I asked:
"Do you know where your brassiere was made, sir?"

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~~  If you suffer from pogonophobia you'd best not be
around men with hair on their face.
That's the word to describe a fear of men wearing a
beard.

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~~  Since my 13-year-old daughter, Janice, and
15-year-old son seldom showed interest in things from
the '70s, I was curious as to why they were watching
something from that era on TV.
"We're starting to study Greece at school,"
Janice told me, "and my girlfriend just called and said
this show was about it."
I was pleased, but puzzled by what I was actually
seeing.
It was about ten minutes before I realised they were
watching the movie 'Grease'.

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  ~~  While I was visiting my mother, my brother called.
He couldn't get his secondhand clothes dryer to work.
He had tested it before buying and had been satisfied
that it was a worthwhile purchase.
My mother made several suggestions, but nothing
seemed to work.
Then my wife, sitting across the room, asked if the dryer
door was open.
Mom passed the question along, and her grin provided
 the answer.
My brother quickly said good-bye and hung up.

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~  A nursery school driver was delivering a van full
of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
 ‘They use him to keep crowds back,’ said Tommy.
‘No,’ said Billy, ‘he’s just for good luck.’
Peter brought the argument to a close.
‘They use the dogs, he said firmly, to find the fire
hydrants….'

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Todays thought:

 I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex,
and rich food.
He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
Johnny Carson

Rae's Trivia....

Fish scales are used to brighten eye shadow, nail polish,
and lipstick.
So if something’s a little fishy about the gal you’re
kissing...

 

Good Morning....Friends, and neighbors.
Todays weather; Patchy fog in the morning.
Mostly cloudy, Highs in the upper 60s.
All the Hummingbirds have left this part of
the country...
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Few clouds yesterday morning....

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No thanks... don't care to find out.....

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Do you think the dishs are clean??

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Damn, I gotta clean the freezer...

I thought I just cleaned it......

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Damn, did you have too??

What did you eat?..

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A Hippy Llama?....

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Hi friend...Long time no see...

How yah been?...

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Now thats gonna hurt.......

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Yah, go ahead clamp down on it.....

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Eno has a hard time....

life is leaving him behind....

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Well, it's time to go....

my bus is here.....

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♥♥♥

~  The husband comes home early from work and finds
his neighbour in bed with his wife.
 "I've looked after you for all these years, you creep!"
he shouted at his neighbour, "I've lent you money,
loaned you my car, after all I've done for you...
and stop doing that while I'm talking to you!"

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~  Paddy and Mick were flying to Spain from Ireland in
a twin engine jet when the Captain came on the intecom
and said: "Ladies and Gentlemen one of the engines
has failed , but not to worry it's perfectly safe flying on ,
but it will take four hours longer to get there."
 Paddy turned to Mick and said:
"Yes and if the other one fails we'll be up here all
bloody day."

☼ 

~  Mummy balloon and Daddy balloon were asleep in
bed when baby balloon comes in and wants to get in
with them.
 He climbs up but there's not enough room to squeeze
in so he unknots daddy balloon's knot and lets some
air out....psssssssss!!! and reties the knot.
 A bit better he thinks ,but still not enough room.
So he unties Mummy balloon's knot lest some air out
and reties.
A lot better but still not QUITE enough room...
 So her unties his OWN knot and lets some air out ...
psssss.... and reties it.
 That is much better and soon drops off to sleep
between them.
 In the Morning daddy balloon says....
"Son, l am ashamed of you, you've not only let myself
and your Mother down, but you've let yourself down too!"

☼ 

~  “Paddy O’Ryan,” asked the chemist,
“Did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife
Bridget’s appearance?”
 “It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”

☼
~  A wife was so jealous that when her
husband came home one night and she couldn’t find
hairs on his jackets she yelled at him,
“Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman!”
 The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume,
she yelled again by saying, “She’s not only bald, but
she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!”

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~  A man had two goldfish.
He named one of them "One" and the other "Two."
He did this because..
if one died, he'd still have two.

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~  "Sir, I understand you admit to having broken into
the dress shop four times," the judge said.
 "Yes, Your Honor," the suspect replied.
 "What did you steal?" the judge asked.
 "I stole a dress, Your Honor," replied the suspect.
 "One dress?" the judge bellowed.
"But you have admitted to breaking in four times!"
 "Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect, "but the first
three times my wife didn't like the color!"

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~  Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not
seeing one another for some time.
After inquiring about each other's health, one asked
how the other's husband was doing.
 "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to
dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and
dropped down dead right there in the middle of the
vegetable patch!"
 "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend.
"What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."

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~  A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in
 New York City and orders a beer.
(In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's
actually does serve beer.)
The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives
him the jab: "They don't serve BEER here, you MORON!"
 The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns
to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to
chuckle.
 "And what's so funny?!?" the New Yorker demands.
"Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came here
for the food."

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*  A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
blood. 
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:  "Now class,
if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run
into it and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the class said.
 "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an
ordinarty position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
 A class member shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

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Todays Thought;

~ I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing
that keeps me out of the hamburger joints.
If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

Rae's Trivia....

The bandaging of a mummy took from 6 to 8 months.
It required a collection of special tools, including a long
metal hook that was used to draw the dead person’s
brains out through his nose.