# 1325

Good Morning, friends and neighbors....

Well, a little cooler this morning....

We're supposed to have a great weekend

weather wise......

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I don't know....But it sure looks good...

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Oh, no... you turned Ugly......

I couldn't help myself.....

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Yep...there you are in my bowl....

Now get OUT!

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Oh, NO.... not my lunch........

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I think your too big to fit in that box.......

So you better watch out........

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I glad someone checks behind me.....

because I've been known to mess up......

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Yes and today is Caturday......

Look out!

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Why you scare me ???

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I think I'll need a little more then that off!!

Kinda hard to sit in......

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Are you gonna leave my Sammach alone??

or did I have to get mean??

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Well, is it a car or a tractor.......

I think it's a tractor-car.......

looks cool..

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♥♥♥

~  Two Greene football players are taking a college
exam.
If they fail they will not be allowed to play in next week's
big game.
The exam is fill-in-the-blank.
The last question reads,
"Old MacDonald had a ______."
Well, Bubba is stumped.
He has no idea what the answer might be.
He knows he needs to get this one right to be sure he
passes. So, Bubba looks around to make sure the
professor isn't watching and then taps Jethro on the
shoulder.
"Psst! Jethro..... What's the answer to the last question?"
Jethro laughs.
He looks around to make sure they isn’t watchin and
then Jethro turns to Bubba and says, "Bubba, man
you're so stupid.
Everybody knows that Old MacDonald had a farm."
"Ohhhh," says Bubba.
"I remember." So, Bubba starts filling in the blank,
but stops.
He again reaches over and taps Jethro’s shoulder and
whispers, "Hey, how do you spell farm?"
"Man Bubba, you really are brainless.
Duh? That's EASY! Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

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~ You might be a redneck if the interveiwer asks,
“Did you know that we are a Fourtune 500 Company?”
And you answer '“What track do y'all sponsor that race
at?
I ain't been to that one yet.”

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~ A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would
get the electric chair.
His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury
and figured he would be the one to bribe.
He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if
he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the
charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a
verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's house,
told him what a great job he had done and paid him the
$10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the
rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter.
They all wanted to let him go.

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~ According to Modern Bride magazine, the average
bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding.
 The average groom spends 150 hours going,
"Yea, sounds good."

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~ My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece
to a weekend festival. 
When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she
appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank
top with spaghetti straps.
A debate began immediately about appropriate dress. 
I took the girl's side recalling that when we began
dating I dressed the same way.
 "Yes," said my boyfriend sternly, "and I said something
about it, didn't I?"
 Everyone looked at me. "Yeah," I replied."
"You said, 'What's your phone number?"

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~ Three people were arguing about what profession was
used first in the bible.
The Surgeon says, "The Medical profession was used
first when God took a rib from Adam and made Eve.
The Engineer says, "No, engineering was used first.
Just think of the engineering job it took to create the
world out of chaos.
The Politician says, "You would have nothing if we didn't
create chaos in the beginning?

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~ Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin
brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a
funeral Mass scheduled for that day. 
His brother, of course, agreed. 
It was not until the brother was accompanying the
casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he
had neglected to ask the sex of the deceased. 
This was information that he would need for his remarks
during the service.
  As he approached the first pew where the deceased's
relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket and
whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?"
"Cousin,"  she replied.

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~ There are three girls going to a water park for the day.
One is brunette, one is a redhead and the last is a
blonde.
When they get to the park, they see a Magic Wishing
Slide.
They decide to give it a go.
The brunette is the first to go down the slide.
She yells 'Monneeeeeeeey!!!'.
When she shoots out of the end of the slide, she lands
in a pool of money.
The redhead is next........ She slides down and
yells 'Chocccollate!!!'. When she shoots out of the end,
she landed in a pool of chocolate.
The blonde slides down screaming
'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'.
When she shoots out of the end, she lands in a pool of...
WEE!!!

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~   There was a brunette walking on a railroad track
saying, " 22, 22, 22, 22..."
A blonde walking near-by heard the brunette.
So, the blonde asked if she could join the brunette.
The brunette said sure and together they said,
" 22, 22, 22, 22.."
Later on a train comes down the track.
The brunette jumps off, but the blonde is not so lucky.
So, the brunette jumps back on the track after the train
is gone and says, "23, 23, 23, 23..." 

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~ Two blondes were going to the mall.
When they got out of the car, they started tossing the car
 keys back and forth.
One of the blondes missed, and the keys flew into the
sewer drainpipe.
The other blonde tried to reach it but couldn't.
So, she called a locksmith, and a cop.
When the two got there, the blondes explained what
happened, then the cop tried to reach the keys but
couldn't.
Finally the locksmith opened the door.
The blonde that missed the keys in the first place said,
"Whew... for a second there I thought we might of
needed to use the SPARE key."

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~ The Pope dies and goes to heaven.
When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new
quarters - a tiny one bedroom apartment.
The Pope is horrified and demands to know why he
doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.
Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the
penthouse is a lawyer.
"A lawyer," says the Pope.
"But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important than a
lawyer!"
"With respect Sir," says Saint Peter, "We have lots of
Pope's up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!"

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~ A lawyer I know once drafted wills for an elderly
husband and wife who had been somewhat
apprehensive about discussing death. 
When they arrived to sign the documents, he ushered
the couple into his office.
"Now," he said to them, "which one of you wants to go
first"

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Todays thought:

A critic, is a man who knows the way,
But can't drive the car.....

Rae's Trivia......

Sharks and rays are the only animals known to man that
cannot succumb to cancer.
Scientists believe this is related to the fact that they
have no bone only cartilage.
They also don’t smoke.

Good Morning.... not to bad weather yesterday...
we didn't get any rain....
Going to be a great weekend.
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Lobster...for breakfast??

That Pete has it good don't he??

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Damn, all I get are scrambled eggs

No bacon, no less......

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My rideshare waiting for me...?

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How did you get my password??

Damn, nothings safe around here.....

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Thats cool....

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Are you ashamed to let people see what you look at??

You an't right !!!

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I take it....you don't like baths....

Tough, gotta kill the fleas.....

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Yeah, your a real porno star.......

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Put your clothes on ENO.....

Here's some one losing theirs.....

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Well, it's time I left.......

see you tomorrow.......

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♥♥♥

~  I saw a sign today that read....
Tiredness kills, take a break.
So I pulled over and went to sleep.
When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again.
I was 5 hours late for work though.

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~ When a fellow called a motel and asked how much
they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates
depended on room size and number of people.
“Do you take children?” the man asked. “No, sir,”
replied the clerk..... “Only cash and credit cards.”

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~ I teach second grade in Indianapolis.
At the beginning of the year one little girl's family moved
to Iowa.
We were having a going away celebration for her and the
kids were asking questions about her new school and
her new house.
One little boy with wide eyes asked, "What language do
they speak in Iowa?"
It just reminds me how big the world really seems to a
second-grader.

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~ Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not
bend.

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~ In a darken theater where the suspenseful mystery
story was being staged, a member of the audience
suddenly stood up and cried, “Where is the murderer?”
A threatening voice behind her replied, “Right in back of
you, if you don’t sit down!”

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~ "According to the Washington Post, Vice President
Dick Cheney is limping today because he injured his
foot.
Cheney said 'If you think my foot looks bad, you should
see the old lady I was kicking.'" -- Conan O'Brien

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~   Q: What is even dumber than a blonde trying to build
a house underwater?
A: A blonde trying to burn it down.

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~  A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this
spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to
Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you
park there.

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~ Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open
Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again.
Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
 click'."

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~ Husband to counselor: We were very happy for 22
years.
Counselor: What happened?
Husband: We got married.
Counselor, turning to wife: Do you agree with your
husband's assessment of your marriage?
 Wife: Yes, the only thing my husband and I have in
common is that we were married on the same day.

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Todays Thought:

A theory is something nobody believes, except the
person who made it.
An experiment is something everybody believes,
except the person who made it.  - Albert Einstein

Rae's Travia......

Flamingos are not naturally pink.
They get their color from their food, tiny green algae that
turn pink during digestion.

Good Morning, Well I was able to post the pictures
this morning....
I.m reading 75º this morning....in the 80's today...
cloudy, with t-storms....
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Don't a great burger look good this morning?

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One ov our Flowers..

I like these lillys... but they don't last long in the heat...

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Play it again Sam......

He works for peanuts....

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Coke advertises everywhere.....

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Bob Ross style??

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I don't know, but I think you better Run for it......

That Goose looks mean......

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Climbing the screen?? looks funny..

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Good luck "Fuzz".....

Have a good ride....

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Yeah, he's always lurking in the background....

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Why? cause I don't wanna get wet.... You?

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I have no idea...Pete....

I'll leave on this one....

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♥♥♥

~ Do you know When I was born I was so surprised...
I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

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~  All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse
the privilege.

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~ A new doctor is assigned to a mental patient, and
watches day after day as the guy puts his ear to
the wall and listens.
The doctor is very curious, so one day he decides to see
what the guy is listening to.
The doctor puts his ear up to the wall and listens.
The doctor turns to the guy and says, "I don't hear
anything."
The guy says, "Yeah, I know.
It's been like that for months."

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~  Three days of suffering through a nasty virus left me
wiped out. 
But I found a silver lining the very first day I could crawl
out of bed. 
Throwing on a pair of pants, I called out to my husband.
"Look! These jeans fit, they finally fit!"
"Great," he said. "But they're mine."

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~ A doctor proscribed suppositories for a Flex's medical
condition.
A few days later, Flex returned.
"Doc, those pills didn't make a bit of difference.
But they sure do taste bad!"
The horrified doctor responded, "You've been taking
them orally?"
"What did you expect me to do, Doc?
Shove 'em up my butt?!"

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~ I found my husband kneeling in front of the dryer.
"What are you looking for?" I asked.
He pointed to his feet and I noticed that he was wearing
only one sock.
He grinned at me and said, "I'm searching for my sole
mate."

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~ What is green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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~  A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put
her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day,
and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
 When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by
losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said,
"Did you follow my instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was
going to drop dead that third day."
 "From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."

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~ A young mother was always on time at our car-pool
meeting place.
She explained that she didn't need an alarm because
her baby woke her between 6:28 and 6:32 each
morning.
One day, however, she arrived late and breathlessly
jumped into the waiting car.
"Sorry," she told us, "my baby didn't go off."

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~  My wife, my 11-year-old son Payton, Sam, my
seven-year-old son, Peter and I were on vacation. 
On the highway we passed through a small town with
a sign that said POP. 10,000.
"Daddy," Sam said, "A can of pop costs $10,000 in
this town!"

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~ My son Timothy was his brother's best man. 
To commemorate the event, Daniel bought him a silver
mug, but the engraver made a slight mistake. 
The mug read "Best man once, a bother forever."

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Todays Thought:

"Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw

Rae's Trivia.........

The first TV show ever to be put into reruns was
The Lone Ranger.

Another one...
In 1897, building on earlier research, a chemist from
the Bayer Company in Germany, Felix Hoffman,
invented a recipe to help relieve the painful symptoms
of his father’s arthritis.
He then pitched his idea to his employer, and Bayer
reluctantly agreed to produce the medicine they named
Aspirin.
Bayer finally launched Aspirin in 1915.
But Aspirin’s success ended up costing the company a
great deal of money in 1919, when the United States,
England, France, and Italy forced Bayer to surrender the
 trademark to them as part of the Treaty of Versailles.
Thus the word aspirin is now written in the lower case.
Oh yes, Bayer also held, and was forced to give up,
its trademark to Heroin at the end of World War I as well.

Well, Blogger won't let me add pictures this morning....
They must be broke down, again.....
So, I guess it's just jokes today....if i can....

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~ It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant
meteor.
That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant
meteor.

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~  An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into
a camp.
"Am I glad to see you!" he said.
"I've been lost for three days."
 "Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied.
"I've been lost for three weeks."

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~ My daughter and her husband, naval reservists,
have an eight-year-old son. 
When one of his parochial school classmates told my
daughter that Angus had said a bad word, she said,
"He can't help it..... Both his parents are sailors.

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~~  Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the
census taker came by.
She told the census taker that her mother was a surgeon
and wasn't home because she was performing an
appendectomy.
"My," said the census taker, "That sure is a big word
for such a little girl...... Do you know what it means?"
"I sure do!....
Fifteen-hundred bucks, and that doesn't include the
anesthesiologist!"

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 ~  At the dinner table one night, my younger brother
asked the question every parent dreads.
 "Mommy, where did I come from?"
"God brought you to us," my mother replied. 
Unsatisfied with her answer, he asked "But how did he
know to put me with you?"
 I told my parents I could handle this and said,
"God had a bunch of moms up in heaven, and they all
drew straws to see who would get you." 
"So mommy won?" he asked with big bright eyes.
 "No I said" hardly able to contain my laughter,
"She lost!"
 I was grounded for a month, and my brother definitely
had the last laugh.

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~ A child was on his first visit to the country at his
grandparents' ranch and feeding the chickens
fascinated him.
arly one morning he caught his first glimpse of a
peacock strutting in the yard.
He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was
making breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come
and see!
One of the chickens is in bloom!"

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~  I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.

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~ Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator
suddenly stops and the lights go out.
They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no
luck.
Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight,
one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to
call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply
and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

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~  Because my husband was in the military,
we moved often, and our children learned to make
friends quickly.
  One snowy day our six-year-old son wanted to go out to
play at a new-found friend's house. 
He got into a snowsuit and bundled himself up until only
his eyes were visible.....
 Before long, he was back home with a disgusted look
on his face.
 "What's wrong?" I asked.
 With all the loathing a six-year-old can muster, he said,
"it was a girl."

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~ A truly rich man is one whose children run into his
arms when his hands are empty.

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 ~  My wife wanted one of those fish spa pedicures.
I arranged one for her.
I dunno if she's gonna like it but cost me a fortune.
Piranhas aren't cheap!

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~  Your breath is so bad... when you talk your teeth duck.

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~  I was browsing through a brochure for
continuing-education courses at a local college when
I came upon a course that interested me: 
"Goodbye to Shy."
 I considered taking the class to overcome my anxiety
about talking to people, but I soon realized it wouldn't
help:  The class was offered online only.

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~ A man tells his friend, Las Vegas is loaded with all
kinds of gambling devices.
“Dice tables, slot machines, and wedding chapels.”

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 Todays Thought:
The person who has lived the most is not the one with
the most years but the one with the richest experiences.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau


Rae's Trivia.....
The Goliath beetle of Africa has a huge armor that
makes it the heaviest flying insect in the world.
In fact, it weighs more than eight mice and is a common
pet with African children, who fly it from a string.

Also did you know;
tiger sharks fight each other while in their mother’s
womb, the survivor being the baby shark that is born.
Talk about sibling rivalry!

Good Morning friends....
Cloudy and in the 90's.... scattered showers...
Summer starts today....
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Farmer next door getting up his Hey.....

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Breakfast this morning....

Links and an egg in the cup....

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Yeah, I thought it is funny too....

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Oh, no...so thats were the hair is coming from....

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Not this time, Bubba!....

Them hoofs hurt.....

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Now thats kinda high don't you think??

And what is a "wrapers"??

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Good work out....

now clean it up........

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Now you've done it.....

He's a mean one......

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Nemo's not there, so get out the bowl.....

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Yep, I really like "ENO".....

He's a cool dude........

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Well, it's time for me to go.....

be careful.....no accidents.....

porn or otherwise......

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♥♥♥

~   If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
 If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
 If you can resist complaining and boring people with
your troubles,
 If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful
for it,
 If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to
give you time,
 If you can overlook when people take things out on you,
 when through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
 If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
 If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
 If you can conquer tension without medical help,
 If you can relax without liquor,
 If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
 Then, you are almost as good as your dog or your cat.

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~  Saturday is the day to..... Honor Satur.
I don't know who Satur was but I think he had something
to do with lawnmowers.

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~  A mother was reading a book about animals to her
3 year old daughter:  Mother: 'What does the cow say?'
Child: 'Moooo!'
 Mother: 'Great! What does the cat say?'
Child: 'Meow.'
 Mother: 'Oh, you're so smart.
 What does the frog say?'
And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at
her mother and replied, 'Bud.'

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~  Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
… Because he felt crummy.

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~  Why did the runner quit the race against Bigfoot?
He couldn't face defeet!!

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~  Driving back from Vermont, I stopped at a vegetable
stand. 
It was deserted except for a sleeping German shepherd. 
I stepped over the dog, helped myself to some corn,
then opened the cashbox to pay.
 Taped to the inside of the lid was this note:
"The dog can count."

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~  Chuck Norris' body temperature is 98.6 degrees...
Celsius.

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~  When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with
veterans, I told them to ask questions.
 One of the men said he'd fought in the Korean War,
and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted
to know more:  "Did you fight for the North or the South?"

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~  What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

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~  Elderly people are often much more romantic than
young people, and sometimes even more adventurous,
having begun to realize how many things they do not
know.

~  I arrived at the doctor's office where I work as a
receptionist to find a mystery man pacing up and down
holding a package. 
As I got out of the car, he declared warmly,
"I have something for you."
 I excitedly ripped open the bundle.
 It was a urine sample.

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~  Peter O'Toole was once asked why he often wore two
watches at the same time. 
"Life is too short," he replied, "to risk wasting precious
seconds glancing at the wrong wrist."

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Todays Thought:

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side,
 dark side, and it holds the world together."

Rae's Trivia.......

Don’t worry about feeling drained.
Vampire bats need only about two tablespoonfuls of
blood each day.
And the creature is able to extract its dinner in
approximately 20 minutes.

 

# 1320

Good Morning....I take it that everyone had
a great weekend?
How about your cook out Pete... Smoker work Okay?
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Somebody was Bar-B-Quing some meat...

Looks good....

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I don't know... can anything appease you??

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Thats a whole lotta food for a kitty...

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Yeah, Make him stop...

Need a ive cream sunday.......

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Oh, No......What a bummer.....

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Now this looks like a bunch of lazy cats.....

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Yes that is bad, now go wash off....

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Weird looking.......

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Yeah, I thought so too........

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Don't you eat all them shrimps.....

Need some for the cook out.....

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Well, I gotta go and catch that cat when he lands.....

See you , in the morning.....

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♥♥♥

~ If you think about it, Jesus had more trouble than any
of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father's Day.
I mean, what do you get somebody who's Everything?

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~ While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my
mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and
her eight-year-old son.
Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their
destination and she heard the mother say to the boy,
"Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog.

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~ Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground
with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
 It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost.
While his father was patching him up, he asked his son
what happened.
"Well, Dad," said Aaron, "I challenged Larry to a duel.
And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
 "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

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~ When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher
conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered,
 especially when she started telling me that my little girl
didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes
 a little flighty.
 “For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,”
 the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting
at the wrong desk.”
 “I don’t understand,” I replied defensively.
“Where could she have gotten that?”
 The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter
was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable.
Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way,
Mrs. Hallinan, our appointment is tomorrow.”

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~ An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for
her boldness in talking about it.
She would stand on her front porch and shout,
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
 Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry
at her proclamations that he would shout,
"There ain't no Lord!"
 Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for
God to send her some assistance.
She stood on her porch and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!
God, I need food.
I am having a hard time.
Please, Lord, send me some groceries."
 The next morning, the lady went out on her porch and
noted a large bag of groceries and shouted,
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
 The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said,
"HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord!
I bought those groceries, myself!... God didn't!"
 The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her
hands and saying, "PRAISE THE LORD! He not only sent
me groceries, but He made the Devil pay for them!
 PRAISE THE LORD!"

☼

~ He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse
kick.

☼

~ Gus, who is trying to lose weight, has a
tendency to grab sweets when he's bored. 
We devised a plan that whenever he's tempted to cheat
on his diet, he should think of me and how proud I am,
of him. 
However, one night I overheard him tell friends,
"Whenever I get hungry, I think about my wife and
immediately lose my appetite."

☼

~ I drove by a yard sale today.
They had a child standing out front holding a sign that
read "Yard Sale".
 It sucks that they couldn't even afford a stick!

☼

~ To impress his new girlfriend, Gus took her to a very
chic Italian restaurant.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up a menu and
ordered.
“We’ll have the Guiseppe Spomdalucci”, he said.
”Sorry, sir”, said the waiter. “THAT’s the owner!”

☼

 ~ After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in
the science section without luck, a customer looked to
me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on
it: Thesaurus.

☼

~ A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last
barstool next to an older woman.
After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible
odor coming from the direction of the drunk.
She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister,
but did you just shit yourself?"
The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit
myself."
The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere
and clean yourself up?"
 The drunk says, "'Cause I'm not finished yet..."

☼

~ Substitute at the Pearly Gates ....
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died,"
 her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of
you while you were ill.
And then I won the lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big
mansion.
And my wife and I traveled all around the world.
We were on vacation and I went water skiing today.
I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am.
How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."

☼

~ While auditing one of our departments, an assistant
asked me what I was doing.
"Listing your assets," I told her.
 "Oh," she said. "Well I have a good sense of humor
and I make great lasagna."

☼

~ I accompanied a friend to a lawn-equipment store to
look at used riding mowers. 
After examining the array, Bill wanted to "think about it."
 Not wanting to lose a sale, the sales manager quickly
mentioned their "60-day, no interest payment program."
 "Sounds great," Bill said, "but I have to talk this over
with my wife or there'll be '60 days, no interest at home..

☼

~  When I was a kid my parents moved a lot,
but I always found them.

☼

☼

Todays Thought:

 Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries
or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.- William Faulkner

Rae's Trivia.....

In 1889, Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented at
St. Joseph, Missouri, was the first self-rising flour for
pancakes and the first ready-mix food ever to be
introduced commercially.

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