Good Morning, everyone....
Another hot one today........
☼

"Witchy", Flo sez for us to "kiss her grits"

☼

I would rather have them GRITS then eat at Joel's place....

They say his burgers are questionable.....

☼

So that's were my ball went......

☼

Oh My, I won't mess with you.....

You even look mean.....

☼

Yep, Monday's are bad...

Wish I could hide from them...

☼

What can I say??

☼

"Witchy", I like this look...Think I can do this also??

☼

That's all Eno knows, maybe his dog.......

☼

Okay, Okay... we get the message!!!

☼

Time for me to leave, Gotta catch up with the dog....
He's full out....

☼

♥♥♥

~~ I'm determined to stay out of debt even if I have to
borrow money to do so.

☼

~~ When my father ran out of gas, he called my mother
to pick him up in her car.
They went to a gas station, filled a gas can, and returned
to his car.
After a few minutes, he got into her car again.
"We need to go back to the gas station," he said.
"One gallon wasn't enough" she asked.
"It would have been if I'd put it in the right car."

☼

~~ Pete's crazy about cowboy films.
He's the only man I know with spurs on his slippers.
Last night he spent three hours in front of the mirror
trying to beat himself to the draw.

☼

~~ Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is a Greek word
literally meaning fear of the number six hundred sixty-six.
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobes will strongly avoid things
related to the number 666.
A prominent example is Nancy and Ronald Reagan who,
in 1989, when moving to their home in the Bel-Air section
of Los Angeles, had the address of 666 St. Cloud Road
changed to 668 St. Cloud Road.

☼

~~ The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the
cookbooks and the diet books.
The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the
diet books tell you how not to eat any of it. - Andy Rooney -

☼


~~ A college graduate applied for a job as an industrial spy.
Together with several other applicants, he was given a
sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an
empty hallway and opened the packet.
Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person.
Report to the fifth floor."

☼

~~ We were doing a science lesson on how plants grow.
The children all got a chance to plant their own seeds.
After a few days of watching the seedlings,
I secretly exchanged a few seeds for the children whose
plants did not sprout.
Several days later one of my students said:
"Look Mrs. Gilligan, it's a miracle, my plant is growing".
I said: "Yes, seeds sprouting is very exciting".
He said: "No Mrs. Gilligan, that's not the miracle,
I ATE the SEED and it is growing anyway!"

☼

~~ As an insurance broker, I sometimes have to call
people who have missed paying their monthly premiums.
One day I called a customer and told him his insurance-
premium cheque had bounced due to lack of funds.
"So," he said, "who didn't have money? Me or the bank?"

☼

~~ A Polar Bear goes into a bar and says,
" Can I have a gin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . tonic please?"
The barman serves him and says, "Why the large pause?"
Polar Bear says, "Don't know, I've always had them!"

☼

~~ Andrew said; The best part of going back to school is
seeing all your friends.
The worst part is that your teachers won't let you talk to them.

☼
☼
Todays Thought:  "A weak man has doubts before a decision, a strong man has them afterwards."

◄~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~G~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~►

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
Getting back to being hot again......
Thanks friends for your cards.. I had a good b-day....
☼

This Mornings Sunrise.....

☼

Oh, No....you didn't.....There went the hotdog....

☼

No, 3 is enough.....

☼

How about these carrots?

Do let him see them.....^^^

☼

How about a Taco ??

☼

I'm still waiting......

☼

WHAT! you want that carrot?

☼

Give that carrot to this guy so the man can read in peace.

☼

Me thinks he should be eating  carrots and not all them burgers.

☼

Now this is a cool tat......not!

☼

I am going to leave now, before this thing bites me....

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ Pete's hair kept falling out and he complained to his barber.

"That stuff you gave me," he cried, "is terrible!
You said two bottles of it would make me hair grow,
but nothing's happened."
"I don't understand it," said the barber.
"That's the best hair restorer made."
"Well," said Pete, "I don't mind drinking another bottle,
but it had better work!"

☼

~~ "OLD" IS WHEN - A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

☼

~~ After his shower, eight-year old Rick came
downstairs and announced that he had washed his
hair and body with the new shampoo I'd bought.
When I asked him why he'd done that, he replied,
"Because the bottle said full body!"

☼

~~ I try not to argue with my wife.
I might win, and then I'd really be in trouble.

☼

~~ Performing a difficult task before breakfast will
spoil your entire day," a doctor declares.
So that's what has been the matter with our days!
We've been getting up before breakfast!

☼

~~ Ten years from now, do you suppose we'll say a
dollar went further in the good old days?

☼

~~ Pete and Gus play golf every Monday.
Pete always wins because Gus is a terrible putter.
One Monday, though, Gus misses none!
He sinks every shot on the green.
Pete can’t believe his eyes.
After the round, Pete asks, “What has happened?
You can’t seem to miss today.”
Gus says, “Order up the beer.
I have to go to the restroom.”
When Gus comes back, the front of his pants are all wet.
Confused, Pete asks, “What happened to your pants?”
“I’ll get to that in a minute.
First, let me tell you about my new and improved game.
I went to the eye doctor last week, and he said that I
needed bifocals.
So when I look down, I see a little ball and a big ball.
I look over and see a little hole and a big hole.
I put the little ball in the big hole, and I can’t miss.”
“But what about your pants?”
“I looked down and saw a little one and a big one.
Figured the little one couldn’t be mine, so I put it away.”

☼

~~ While we were working at a men's clothing store,
a customer asked my co-worker to help her pick out a
tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes
stand out if you tie it tight enough."

☼

~~ His wife was in full flow: "Cricket, criket, cricket,
that's all you think about.
What about us?
I bet you couldn't even tell me what day we were married!"
"Yes I could," replied the husband.
"It was the day Botham scored 147 against the Australians!"

☼

~~ When I worked in the school library, a very confused
student asked me for help.
"The computer just started typing in Latin.
I can't understand it," he said.
It turns out he was typing in italics.

=+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

Good Morning, Friends, and neighbors....
Well, we got some rain yesterday, we needed it...
☼

What, what do you see?

I don't see anything?

☼

You fix him up, alright!

☼

I don't know good Chicken fried in Diesel oil....

would be....??

☼

Damn, looks like this person's been eating

the Diesel fried chicken....

☼

These two looks like they like chicken.......

☼

Oh, No........

☼

I don't know...I never.........

I use old "gunny sacks"

☼

Oh, you too....?

☼

Your a better man then me.....

☼

Eno's funny......

☼

Now, if I can get my ass out......I can go...

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ recent research has proven that birthdays are healthy, the more you have, the longer you live..

☼ 

~~ An angry housewife met her husband at the front
door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol
and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm,
 "that there must be a very good reason for your coming
home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your
breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."

☼

~~ Before Al Gore was American Vice President -
in fact, even before he became involved in politics -
he spent some time as a drummer for a small band
playing in local clubs.
He was in fact quite a good drummer, and he developed
quite a reputation for his impressive drum solos.
Some of his routines were incredible for their
mathematical precision.
They became known as the Al-Gore-rythms.

☼

~~ William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia,
had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled
in the baking arts.
One day, "Big Bill" was petitioned by the citizens of his
town because the three bakeries in the town had, during
the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that
only the rich could afford them.
Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly,
he turned to his aunts and asked their advice.
But when they had heard the story, the two old ladies
were so incensed over the situation that they offered to
bake 100 pies themselves, and sell them for 2 cents
lower that any of the bakeries were charging.
It was a roaring success.
Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon they had
managed to bring down the price of all kinds of
pastry in Philadelphia.
In fact, even to this very day, their acheivements are
remembered as the remarkable Pie rates of Penn's aunts.

☼

~~ Over dinner, I explained the health benefits of a
colorful meal to my family.
"The more colors, the more variety of nutrients,"
I told them. Pointing to our food, I asked,
"How many different colors do you see?"
"Six," volunteered my daughter.
"Seven if you count the burned parts."

☼

~~ A lawyer was asked if he would like to become a
Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, stating that he hadn't seen the accident,
but said that he would still be interested in taking
the case.

☼

~~ The teacher was telling the class about plants that
have the word "dog" in front of them: dogrose,
dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower
with the prefix "dog."
Sally raised her hand and said, "Sure, Mrs. Bless,
a 'collie'flower!"

☼

~~ Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something
to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

☼

~~ Our co-worker Patrick shared his worst
workday ever.
He was at an appliance store and the delivery truck
had broken down, which meant he was flooded
with angry phone calls from customers.
One irate caller canceled the delivery and told
Patrick what he could do with it.
"I'm sorry," said Patrick.
"That's impossible.
I already have a stove, a vacuum cleaner and a
microwave up there."

☼

~~ The optometrist did a test on me whereby he sent a
jet of air into my eye.
He was impressed that I did not jump, as his clients
usually do, and said to me, "You have nerves of steel."
I looked at him and replied, "Yes. I'm a teacher."

☼

~~ To make a good salad is to be a brilliant diplomatist,
the problem is entirely the same in both cases.
To know exactly how much oil one must put with one's
vinegar.

☼

~~ A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet.

"It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared.
"You need a vacation.
Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll
feel better."
When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware
store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach.
"How much for two buckets of that seawater?"
he asked the lifeguard.
"A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face.
The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel
room and soaked his feet.
They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment
that afternoon.
Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars.
The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself."
The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement.
The tide was out.
"Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard.
"Some business you got here!"

☼
☼
Todys Thought: America has the highest standard of living in the world. It's just a pity we can't afford it. 

◄~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~►

# 1,034

Good Morning.....A nice rainy day....
We're having a Thunder storm right now...
So I gotta hurry.....
☼

Happy Birthday, Cat......

☼

Oh, No... there goes breakfast.......

☼

Come on you guys... we gotta wash dishes...

☼

Our dishwasher...and he's good at it....

☼

There you go...playing around again.......

☼

Stop hollering you just don't like your bath.....

☼

I don't think so.......

☼

A weird looking fellow...

☼

Now this is a mean looking fellow...

maybe he hates everyone.......

☼

I just love "ENO" toons.....

He's so cool......

☼

Well, if I can get the dog out, I'll leave......

☼

☼

♥♥♥+

~~ Went on a family vacation to Africa last year.

My mother-in-law was bitten by a black mamba.
Terrible thing to watch a snake dying in agony.

☼

~~ A friend of mine started making and selling land
mines that look like prayer mats.
I ask him how was business?
He said "just great, prophets are going through the ceiling".

☼

~~ TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN
UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

☼
~~ A state government employee sits in his office,
and out of boredom he decides to see what’s in his old
filing cabinet.
He pokes through the contents and comes across an old
brass lamp.
“This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides and
takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him
three wishes.
“I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now.”
He gets his Pepsi and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second
wish.
“I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs
reside.”
Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing
him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish:
“I wish I’d never have to work ever again.”
POOF! he’s back in his government office.

☼

~~ Our cat, Figaro, comes home between 10 or 11 at
night to eat.
If he's late, I turn on the carport light and call him until
he appears.
One day my daughter was explaining to a friend where
we live, and her friend said, "Is that anywhere near the
house where the woman stands on her steps late at night
and sings opera?"

☼
~~ My favorite spot at our local zoo is the House of Night,
where nocturnal creatures crawl and fly about.
One very bright day, I stepped into the exhibit and was
plunged into total darkness.
Almost immediately, a small hand grabbed mine.
"And who do you belong to?" I asked.
His answer came swiftly:
"I'm yours till the lights come on."

☼

~~ I was leaving the groomer's with my dog when I
noticed a pet perfume in a display case.
It's a wonder that we didn't bowl each other over trying
to get it, because the tag line boldly announced:
"Strong enough for a man...but made for a Chihuahua."

☼

~~ After reading a display at a local paint store about
"smooshing"...a painting technique...my mother decided
to try it.
She walked up to the young salesman and asked,
"Do you have everything it takes for smooching?"

☼

~~ On a family vacation, we visited a chocolate factory
in Hershey, PA.
Amazed to see the candy flowing down the assembly line,
I reached to my right and put my arm around my wife.
"Do you remember the 'I Love Lucy' show,"
I asked nostalgically, "when Ethel and Lucy got jobs in
a candy factory?"
From my left, my wife said, "Say yes and maybe
he'll let you go."
I was hugging the wrong woman.

☼

~~ I do system support in a law firm.

The other day I had to log a user off and then back on.
I entered her initials and then she just gave me her
password (Rule No. 1 broken).
Her password is "genius".
After three tries and the system telling me
 "access denied,"
I asked her how to spell it.
She said, "G - E - N - I - O - U - S."
There's one in every crowd.


☼
~~ A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him.
"Didn't I tell you the last time you were in my court room
that I never wanted to see you in here again?"
"Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly
what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in
anyway!"

☼
☼
Todays Thought: Remember: If you throw dirt, you're losing ground.

"Witchy" loved the phone call.....

^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^

Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....

We had a good weekend, Hot, but good...

We did get a sprinkle of rain....

☼

A cloudy Sunrise over a big corn field.....

The cows will eat good this winter.

☼

Talk about eating good, this guy is bringing home the bacon..

☼

Red neck breakfast....Pork skins......

☼

No....you can't have any for breakfast.....Bubba.

☼

He's brushing his teeth, so he'll be ready for breakfast....

☼

These guys are sleeping in....

I bet you open a can of tuna, they would jump up...

☼

Their waiting for their breakfast....

☼

This guy doesn't want to get his feet wet...

while looking for breakfast......

☼

Isn't this a nice looking calf?

One of the many next door.....

☼

I guess I better leave on this one...

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ Pete had just read the news that the richest man in the county had died.

He sat at the bar and cried into his beer.
His friend Gus tried to comfort him.
"But Pete, you weren't even related to him."
"I know......... That's why I'm crying!"

☼

~~ A person who feels he is indispensable should put
his fist in a pail of water and see what an enormous hole
is left behind when he pulls it out.

☼

~~ Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow
on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?

☼

~~ Wandering through an art museum,
Carlene and James pointed out their favorite sculptures
to their three-year-old son Logan.
As they entered a room full of nude statues, Logan
observed, "They're all naked.
Is that why they can't go outside?"

☼

~~ The hard-drinking Mickey Mantle often played
with a hangover... and hit home runs anyway.
How did he manage it?
He once admitted that he occasionally saw three
balls heading toward home plate...
and simply swung at the middle one!

☼

~~ In 1992, Ozzy Osbourne announced that he planned
to spend more time with his family and that his next tour
(aptly named the 'No More Tours Tour') would be his last.
Three years later, Ozzy released another album and,
shortly thereafter, embarked upon a new world tour.
Its name? Retirement Sucks!


☼
~~ A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly
distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal
Reserve Bank to be retired.
As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned,
they struck up a conversation.
The twenty dollar bill reminisced about its travels
all over the county.
"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.
"Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest
restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway,
and even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one dollar bill.
"You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been
throughout your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist
Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church ...."
The twenty dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"

☼

~~ An exasperated mother, whose son was always
getting into mischief, finally asked him,
"How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says
'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

☼

~~ The economy is so bad right now, a lot of women in

Beverly Hills are being forced to marry for love.

☼

~~ A guy came home to his wife and said to her:
Guess what?... I've found a great job.
A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends
and it pays $600 a week!"
"That's great," his wife said.
"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed.......
"You start on Monday."

☼

~~ "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend,"

an embarrassed Ruby said after a church service,
"when my husband walked out during your sermon."
"I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied.
"It's not a reflection on you, sir," insisted the church goer.
"Gus has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a
child."
☼
☼
Today Thought:  Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

☺=+++++++++++++++++++++++++=☺